Some With Arrows, Some With Traps III
by refreshingbeverage
Summary: A sequel, takes place one year after the first book. Rick and Horatio have reached a milestone in their secretive relationship and are figuring out how to keep it working for the long-term. Rated M for language and adult themes
1. Sleepy

You all are very patient with me and I thank you for that.

* * *

**Some With Arrows, Some With Traps III**

**Chapter One: Sleepy**

"And here," Horatio yawned, "is the DNA result from the joint taken from the scene. If IAB doesn't clear you after they see what's in this report, I would be in shock".

"Thanks Horatio," Eric smiled wearily.

The redheaded lieutenant sighed, wondering if he was really doing right in clearing Eric's name again. He had been accused of smoking marijuana so many times that there may be a drop of truth to it. And although the evidence proved Eric was innocent, Horatio couldn't help but to wonder if there is always something that he overlooks.

"I'm going to deliver this to IAB now", Horatio said, organizing the papers back into the file, "anything you want to add?"

"Yeah, tell Stetler to go fuck himself".

"With pleasure".

oOoOo

Rick stood over his desk, papers were everywhere. His jacket was off and his sleeves rolled up to his elbows. He impulsively scratched at his head before he pressed play on the small voice recorder next to him.

"I'm worried about him," the recorder sighed, "I guess it started sometime after Buchberger's death, I had never seen anyone so broken up about anything before. Anyways, two days ago his dog is run over (I was there) and he barely even batted an eye"

"Are there any other changes in his behavior since Officer Buchberger's death that have you concerned?" Rick's recorded voice asked.

"We don't go fishing anymore. I invite him every Friday, but he always declines. Did I do wrong? I mean, I just want to help him feel a bit better-".

Rick turned off the recording and focused his attention to a large silver book in the middle of the desk. He flipped through the pages, muttering to himself and taking notes on a scrap piece of paper he found under the couch. He has to quit procrastinating when it comes to buying notebooks.

There was a soft knock on the door.

"Come in," Rick called, momentarily removing a pen from his mouth, only to replace it after he had spoken.

Horatio stepped into the room, Eric's file tucked under his arm. He smiled over at Rick, who gave a half-hearted wave in response. He enjoyed seeing Rick so intense and focused; he carries it from the interrogation room right to his office.

"Rick's reading his favorite book," Horatio noted, closing the door behind him.

"Yes he is," Rick grumbled in third person, "and if this cheap-ass department would spring for a real psychiatrist, then he wouldn't need to read his favorite book everyday".

"You love it and you know it," Horatio smirked, "you analyze everything".

Rick straightened up and put the pen down, he sighed as he approached the redhead.

"That's the Psych major in me, I can't help it," he smiled, "is that Eric's file?"

"Yup," Horatio nodded, handing it over, "He's clean, just as I knew he would be".

"We have to cover all of our bases, Horatio," Rick sighed as he paged through the file.

"He just feels humiliated whenever it happens".

"I have no control over what my witnesses tell me".

"You should tell them when they're being idiots".

"That would be mean," Rick smirked, reaching the end of the file "Anything else?"

"Eric wants you to go fuck yourself".

Rick looked up into Horatio's soft blue eyes. He looked tired, little dark circles were beginning to form under them. His face looked like it had aged a year in a day. It was then Rick noticed how upset the lieutenant was. He threw Eric's file onto his desk and pulled Horatio into a comforting embrace, the other man's head resting on his shoulder.

"What's wrong, love?" Rick whispered gently, his fingers lacing themselves in Horatio's silky red hair.

"I've been having the day from hell," the redhead muttered into Sergeant Stetler's neck, "and I've only been here for three hours".

"Me too".

"I don't know if I will be able to make it over tonight".

"What?" Rick pulled back, furrowing his brow as he looked into Horatio's tired eyes.

Rick gently coaxed his lover across the room and down onto the sofa between the bookcases. He guided Horatio down onto the couch and took the seat next to him. Horatio looked wearily into Rick's soft chestnut eyes as his pale hands were lifted to the sergeant's lips.

"Things must be pretty bad if you won't be able to make it tonight," Rick murmured against Horatio's fingertips after he kissed them.

"I know how important tonight is," the redhead said wearily, "but I'm pretty sure that I'll barely make it to five".

"Didn't you get any sleep last night?"

"Barely. I couldn't turn my brain off".

"You poor thing," Rick cooed, stroking his lover's hair, "What were you thinking about? A case?"

"No," Horatio sighed weakly, "You".

Stetler chuckled lightly, draping an arm over the lieutenant's shoulders. Although Horatio looked so tired, he still managed to have an incredibly sweet glimmer in his eyes. Rick leaned in and lightly kissed Horatio on the forehead, pulling a soft little noise from his lover.

"I've been building myself up to today…well… tonight, for the past two weeks," Horatio murmured, resting his head on Rick's shoulder, "I didn't even notice I was doing it. And now that it's here... oh God, I'm like a little kid on Christmas".

They sat there, cuddling for a few moments. Neither of them wanted to be apart, especially on a day that meant so much to them. But yet…

"Go home, H," Rick sighed softly, "You're too tired to get any work done here".

"And what work are you getting done?" Horatio retorted, feigning anger.

"As head of this IAB division, I am ordering you, Lieutenant Caine, to go home as you are unable to perform your proper duties. You are then to report to my place at six o'clock".

"Is that your official statement, sergeant?" Horatio smirked into his lover's shoulder.

"Yes," Rick smiled into the lieutenant's hair, kissing him lightly.

"But I don't want to go home. I just want to sit here with you all day".

"And nothing would make me happier than to spend the rest of my life cuddled up here with you, Horatio," Rick smiled, "but you should probably get going. We can't let anyone find us here like this".

Horatio chuckled quietly and wrapped his arms around Rick. The brunette sighed contentedly as he felt Horatio nuzzle against his neck and kiss him lovingly.

"What are you laughing at?" Rick purred, running his hand down his lover's back.

"You," Horatio said, the smile in his voice, "you only worry about us getting caught if were just sitting here like this. It doesn't seem to bother you when you have me half naked and bent over your desk".

"Would you like me to voice my concern when we're like that?" he smirked, "because I can start. I personally think it's a buzz kill, but if it turns you on-"

"Rick-"

"No, seriously, I can start tonight. I just wish you would have informed me earlier".

"Rick, don't," Horatio whined into his chest, "Forget I said it".

"I will not," Rick smiled, tussling his lover's hair, "tonight is your night as well as mine. If you want it, it's yours".

"I don't want it. Stop messing with me".

Rick chuckled as he sat Horatio back up, beaming into his tired but smiling eyes. Horatio slouched into the couch were the two men had so often made love. His eyes scanned over a little mended tear in the seam of a cushion, where Rick's nails had done some damage to the upholstery. Rick perched on top of the couch and lightly kissed Horatio's forehead.

"But now," he cooed gently, "you need to get some sleep. Go home, love. I'll see you around six".

"But I-"

"-Horatio," Rick said sternly.

As much as he loved the lieutenant, he knew that they couldn't sit around cuddling all day; not when there was still a full day of work ahead of him. Rick had tried to keep his private life as separate from his work as possible. And despite the steamy make out sessions and hot office sex they so often had, Rick had never once manipulated an investigation to fall into Horatio's favor. Nor has Horatio let his lover get away with giving his team too much crap. Rick would be surprised if the others in IAB didn't notice his ongoing affairs with Horatio, but they didn't do anything to endanger the department; so nobody brought it up.

"Alright," Horatio agreed, timidly ducking his head as Rick lovingly caressed his arms, "I'll go".

"Good boy," Rick purred, grasping onto Horatio's collar and pulling him into a kiss.

Horatio's eyes drifted shut as he felt Rick's tongue slide over his own. The sweet familiar taste of his lover's mouth was absolutely heavenly. The redhead moaned in want as he felt his lover coil his arms around his waist and draw their bodies together. Rick held the kiss for what could have been an eternity, stealing all the breath from Horatio's lungs. Eventually he broke it, smirking to himself as he watched and heard his lover pant for breath.

"Say you love me," Rick cooed as he helped the redheaded lieutenant off the couch.

"I love you," Horatio sighed, looking into the light brown eyes of his lover, "more than anything".

"And I love you," Stetler answered, giving Horatio a light little peck on the cheek, "But I really have to get back to work now".

Horatio nodded understandingly, "I'll see you at six".

"Bye, H".

As Horatio opened the door to leave, he almost ran right into Molly, Rick's assistant. He nodded hello to her before he made his way down the hall to the elevators. She grinned at the CSI, following him with her eyes until Rick quite audibly cleared his throat.

"Can I help you, Ms. Shomer?" Rick asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I just came to deliver the preliminary reports on the Eardman case you said you would spend most of today on," she said, handing a file to him.

"Thank you".

"How's Horatio?" she grinned.

"Cutting right to the chase now, aren't you?" Rick smirked.

Molly shrugged and grinned. She had caught onto her boss' affair with Horatio pretty early on. She almost walked in on Horatio giving him a blow job about a month or so ago; now knowing to listen before she knocks. Although Rick was a little unprofessional at times, she had to admit that she thought that his relationship with Horatio was the cutest thing she's ever seen. Before they started dating, Rick used to be incredibly moody all the time. He would often take out his frustration on her, chewing her out at any available opportunity. But after he started seeing Horatio, Molly got to know Rick's gentle and humorous side. They had become pretty close friends since then.

"He's really tired today," Rick answered, "I sent him home".

"And he agreed?"

Rick nodded. Horatio often had trouble sleeping or staying asleep, but not enough to really classify it as insomnia. Rick had suggested that Horatio go home early on several other occasions, but the lieutenant was pretty stubborn. Horatio was the sort of guy who would only call in sick if his limbs were falling off; which is why his early leave was such a shock.

"I need him for tonight," Rick smiled, knowing Molly was comfortable talking about this sort of thing with him.

"Anything special?"

"It's our anniversary," Rick grinned, "One full year to the day".

"Congratulations," Molly giggled, loving the thought of them in a solid relationship, "I hope he catches up on his sleep by tonight".

"I hope so too, Molly," Rick sighed, thinking of his lover's shining eyes, "I hope so too".


	2. A Toast

**Chapter Two: A Toast**

Rick sighed heavily as he pulled a lemon out of the refrigerator and placed it down on the cutting board. This day seemed to be dragging on forever for him, but he knew that the night would be far too short. Every minute felt like an hour, but it still felt like he didn't have enough time to fully prepare for everything he wanted to do that night. However, everything that Rick did plan seemed to be going like clockwork. The fish was in the oven, the potatoes were on the stove, the wine was chilling in its cooler next to the dining room table, the cigars were laid out, Horatio's present was wrapped, and everything that needed setting up in the bedroom was set up.

"Rick," a soft, low, raspy voice whispered from behind Stetler, making him startle to the point of almost falling down.

"Mmm," The voice hums, "always so jumpy".

"I didn't expect you to be here already, Horatio," Rick smiled, holding onto the strong arms that wrapped around his waist.

"I couldn't wait," the redhead cooed, kissing Rick's neck, "I hope you don't mind me being here fifteen minutes early".

"I also didn't expect you to let yourself in and sneak up on me".

"So jumpy," Horatio repeated.

"So quiet".

Rick spun around in Horatio's arms facing his lover for the first time that evening. Horatio tangled his fingers in Rick's hair, leaning in and bringing their lips together. He pushed Rick up against the counter and forced his tongue into his mouth. Rick moaned softly as he felt Horatio's hands already start to wander southwards. He tore his mouth away from Horatio's.

"H," Rick murmured softly, looking into Horatio's shining blue eyes, "Not now".

"You want it now though," Horatio smiled, tugging off Rick's tie, "When were you going to change out of your clothes? You weren't planning on wearing this all day, I know that".

Rick watched as his green and yellow tie was pulled from his neck. Horatio smirked as he looked over his lover's white and lime green striped shirt. Although Horatio didn't really care much about fashion; Rick's complete abandonment of anything vogue never failed to amuse him.

"You're laughing at my clothes again," Rick noted once he saw the redhead's amusement.

"Hopefully we won't have to think about clothes for too much longer"," Horatio purred, popping the top few buttons of the shirt.

The men were interrupted as they heard the piercing ring of the oven timer. Rick looked apologetically at his lover, gently pushing him away so he could take care of the fish. Horatio relaxed against the counter as he watched Rick pull the entree out of the oven.

"Fish?" Horatio asked, looking over their meal.

"Just like our first meal together," Rick smiled.

"I went through hell to get our first fish," Horatio grumbled, "you just bought these, didn't you".

"I'm sorry, love," Rick cooed gently as he turned the oven off and quickly checked on the potatoes.

"I almost died, remember?"

"How could I forget?" Rick sighed as he arranged the meal onto the pieces of fine china he had on standby, "I was afraid I lost you that afternoon".

"I guess we're just meant to be," Horatio shrugged.

Rick smirked and kissed him on the cheek before he took their meals to the dining room. Horatio followed him in, he and Rick sitting across from each other. The brunette poured their wine, the Sauvignon Blanc spilling and swirling into his lover's glass.

"A toast," The brown eyed man declared, Horatio obediently raising his glass, "To us. To a full, joyful, and at times stressful year together. To our trials as well as our triumphs. To the mountains, to the cabin. To Miami, to … erm… my office. To you, Horatio. You have made my life complete and are everything I could ever dream of. To life. To love".

"And to you, Rick," Horatio added, pulling his glass away before Rick could clink them together, "For giving me such freedom, for teaching me how to live again".

"To one year of love".

"And many more to come".

Their glasses met as they lovingly bowed their heads at one another, taking a sip before they started into their meal.

oOoOo

"Leave them," Horatio cooed as Rick tried to clear the table.

"You aren't suggesting we retire so soon are you, lieutenant?" Rick smirked, putting his plate back down and guiding Horatio to his feet.

"Of course not, I just ate".

"Then what are you suggesting?"

Horatio smiled and led Rick into the living room, pulling him down onto the couch. Rick draped an arm over his lover's shoulders, holding him close. The redhead blushed slightly as he felt Stetler nuzzle lovingly up against him. Horatio never fails to still be a little surprised with the knowledge of how much Rick likes to cuddle and be held. It was a little strange, considering how dominant he is in most other physical parts of their relationship. Of course, that's not to say that Horatio didn't enjoy it.

Rick took Horatio's hand in his before he leaned in and brushed their lips together. They kept the kiss chaste for the time being, a soft "chu" audible as Horatio broke away.

"I have presents," Rick purred into his lover's neck, "one from me, the other from Molly to the both of us".

Before Horatio was able to tell Rick that he brought presents too, Rick had jumped off the couch and into the kitchen. The redhead smirked to himself; he always enjoyed seeing Rick so enthusiastic. He looked into his lover's brown sparkling eyes as he came back into the living room, two beautifully wrapped boxes in hand.

"Wanna open Molly's first?"

Horatio nodded and the box was handed to him. It turns out that it wasn't a box at all, but a reasonably thick book. Careful not to rip either cover, Horatio gently pulled it free from its paper and tape, only to gasp and cover it back up again.

"What'd she do?" Rick chuckled, watching as Horatio doubled over, clutching the book between his chest and legs.

Horatio dropped his head and grumbled into the book's binding, "Molly…"

Smirking to himself, Rick gently tugged the book out of his lover's hands… a book titled Ultimate Gay Sex. He chuckled, more intrigued than embarrassed, and not at all insulted.

"What is with your female friends?" Horatio groaned, his face still in his hands as he tried to hide the intense blush the book gave him, "First Victoria now Molly".

"Now now, Horatio," Rick smiled, putting the book down and stroking the redhead's back, "she didn't do it to scare you".

"I'm not scared".

"Then why are you hiding?"

"I'm not hiding," Horatio mumbled, trying to disguise the blush that was only intensifying.

Horatio looked up as his hands were pried away from his face and the second gift was placed in his palms.

"This should make you feel a little better," Rick cooed softly, stroking his lover's soft red hair.

His cheeks still a little red, Horatio sat up and pulled the silver ribbon and deep blue wrapping paper from the package. He pulled it open to see another box inside it, it too was deep blue, but it had a white swan painted onto it.

His heart skipped a beat; he recognized the Swarovski logo anywhere. Marisol used to collect the crystal figurines they made. He remembered seeing them displayed in a glass case in her bedroom several years ago. Whatever was in the box had to be far from cheap.

Nestled inside was a glistening crystal watch, a little crystal swan perched right under the 12. It had a large face, studded with crystals and a thick silver band. Horatio gingerly lifted it up and freed it from its plastic stand. He smiled, lovestruck as he watched Rick take the watch and fasten it around his pale wrist.

"It's beautiful," Horatio couldn't help but to marvel, raising his eyebrows as he watched it catch a ray of light and emit a brilliant spectrum onto them.

"I knew you'd like it," Rick smiled, leaning in and giving Horatio a quick little peck on the cheek.

The two of them sat there, holding hands and gazing into each other's eyes. Over the past year they had noticed that it was so easy for them to just get lost, admiring each other's features.

"I have presents for you," Horatio finally said quietly, a little surprised at how much Rick was still able to take his breath away.

Rick only smiled as he watched his lover stand and walk over to the staircase. He had tucked the packages into the corner of the bottom landing for safekeeping.

"Open this first," Horatio smiled, handing Rick a package wrapped in white paper and tied with a white ribbon.

Rick could feel by the weight of it and the sharp corners that whatever it was was made of glass. Carefully he laid it down on his lap and pulled the wrapping off.

"Oh, Horatio".

It was a glass picture frame with the word "love" engraved in a tiny font at the bottom right hand corner. But that wasn't what pulled the gasp from Rick. There, in the middle of the frame, was a beautiful black and white photograph of the cabin… _their_ cabin. Rick would know it anywhere; the shape of the windows, the small shrubs near the door, the pine tree, the lake in the background. Everything was covered in a sheet of newly fallen snow, just as Rick remembered it.

"It's perfect," Rick sighed pitifully, "you must have pulled a lot of strings to get this, I know you didn't have a camera with you".

"I didn't have to pull any," Horatio shrugged, biting his lip before he softly said, "It's from Mac".

The smile faded from Rick's face. He didn't feel anger or fear or confusion; but he didn't feel amorous, nostalgic, or moved either. He didn't feel anything and his face went blank. After everything that's happened, he didn't know what to think when it came to Mac. That relationship was beyond any normal definition of "complicated".

Horatio sat down by Rick's side, pulled out a piece of paper, and began reading.

_Horatio and Rick,_

_I can do nothing but to wish you my best and hope this letter hasn't fallen into the wrong hands .The two of you have had a very trying, but hopefully also breathtakingly beautiful year together. And although I know that I have made things difficult (to put it mildly), I hope you realize how happy I want you to be._

_You two are both incredibly lucky to have each other; and I pray that one day soon Florida will allow you to be joined in union. Although I know that you already are one in the eyes of the Lord, and maybe that's all that could ever really matter in the long run._

_It breaks my heart to know that you have to keep this as a secret from your friends at CSI and IAB. You shouldn't have to. And if you do finally come out to them, I hope they accept you with the support and open arms that I was unable to give._

_I cannot say it enough: after the horrible things I have done to you two, I can no longer say that I have lived without regret. I don't expect either of you to forgive me, but I hope you acknowledge that I am a changed person; hardly the same man I was a year ago._

_Rick, I hope you know that I am truly sorry. This letter is for you; although I haven't until now had the strength to say it. _

_If you two ever feel like coming up to New York, give me a call. I know a guy who can book you a suite overlooking Times Square. That and I'd like to catch up with the both of you, time and hearts ever permitting._

_Happy Anniversary_

_-Mac_

Rick sat still, nodding slightly as Horatio finished and folded up the letter.

"I've always wanted to go back to New York," Rick shrugged, not quite sure of what else to say.

"You don't have to worry about that now," Horatio cooed, running his fingers through Rick's dark brown hair, "but I will leave the letter here with you, if that's okay".

Rick nodded, a smile finally being pulled out of him as Horatio pressed his lips to his lover's neck.

"And here's my present," Horatio said softly, standing the picture frame up on the coffee table and placing a package wrapped in dark red paper and navy blue ribbon on Rick's lap.

Carefully, Rick pulled off the ribbon and tugged the paper free. Soon his chestnut eyes were shining as his jaw dropped slightly.

There, in his lap, was a fine piece of music writing software. When it came to composing, Rick had always been a little clumsy, as much as he loved making music. He didn't bother to measure lines out properly and often had to re-write good portions of pages when he composed by hand. He had always wanted the computer program, but had refrained from buying because of its impressive price tag. Now that Rick finally had it, he had no idea what to do.

"You like it?" Horatio asked knowingly, watching a wide grin spread across the brunette's face.

The next thing Horatio knew, he was pulled onto his back and Rick's lips were latched securely onto his neck. The box had tumbled down onto the carpet between the couch and coffee table. Horatio's wrists, new watch and all, were pinned to the arms of the sofa.

"Good," the redhead smirked, "because I really wanted to get you something for your violin. But when I wen- mmf!"

Rick's lips had captured his mouth, silencing him. Slowly, Horatio's eyes drifted shut and his legs began to tangle with those of his lover's. They lay there, stealing all the breath from each other's lungs and only breaking away once they thought they would die if they didn't catch a breath.

"I'll write you something beautiful," Rick gasped as he tried to catch his breath.

"I'll… erm… tell you the time".

Smirking, Rick sat up on Horatio's chest, releasing one hand but holding on fast to the other and removing the watch. He placed it down on the coffee table next to the picture frame. After picking up his present and putting it on the table with the others, Rick stood up and helped his lover off the couch.

"You want to take this upstairs?" Stetler purred, a seductive leer in his darkening eyes.

"Should we bring the book?"

"No," Rick shook his head, and gave Horatio a light tug in the direction of the stairs, "tonight it shall hardly be necessary".


	3. Upstairs

**Chapter Three: Upstairs**

The two men stood before each other in the bedroom, holding hands and lightly brushing their lips together. Everything was set, from the white fur handcuffs and two silk scarves waiting on the bed, to the red satin robes hanging on stand-by near the door of the master bath. The lights were low and curtains drawn, the chamber lit by about a dozen stocky white candles. It seemed all of nature was at their command.

"I forgot to thank you for making dinner," Horatio cooed softly into Rick's neck.

"You're quite welcome, Horatio," Rick whispered, kissing his lover's soft red hair, "But right now, I think it's time for dessert".

"And I most heartily agree".

"Good. Now strip," Rick purred into Horatio's ear, making him shiver.

Horatio smiled shyly as he took a few steps back, his long pale fingers slowly pulling open the buttons of his shirt. Rick blushed slightly and smirked, enjoying the show, biting his lip as he watched his lover tear open his pants. Soon Horatio's sweet, nude form was standing in the middle of Rick's bedroom, giving him a look of longing.

"Lie down," Rick ordered.

"Aren't you going to strip for me?"

"Eventually. Lie down".

Raising his eyebrows in intrigue of the unknown, Horatio picked the cuffs and scarves off the bed and threw them to Rick. The redhead obediently lay down in the middle of the red satin sheets, letting his wrists be cuffed to the headboard. The scarves, which Horatio expected to be a blindfold and gag, were tied to his ankles, strapping his legs to the bedposts. He shivered as he watched Rick eye him up in want.

"I'll be right back," Rick whispered, leaning down and giving Horatio a bruising kiss.

"Wait! Where are you going?"

"I'll be right back," Stetler repeated as he slipped into the master bath.

Horatio rolled his eyes. He could never quite get used to Rick playing these sorts of games with him. It was all part of how they passed control to each other. He didn't really mind it, Rick would never do anything that Horatio was uncomfortable with. He dug his shoulder blades into the mattress, enjoying the feeling of satin against his bare skin.

Rick poked his head out of the bathroom, two types of bowls in his hands. He smirked as he set them both down on the nightstand. One bowl was filled with strawberries; the other was actually a fondue pot.

"What the hell are you doing?" Horatio smirked.

"I believe that be both agreed that it's time for dessert," Rick grinned.

"I thought you were speaking in euphemisms".

"Well, you should know me better than that".

Rick lit the fondue pot and lovingly stirred the contents. Horatio watched as dessert was being prepared for him.

"So, why did you strap me to the bed?"

"Fun," Rick answered as he dug a silver ladle into the fondue and lifted out a good few ounces of the contents, holding it over Horatio's stomach.

"No," Horatio said firmly, "No. No no no no no no no. You are not doing this, Rick".

"Oh yes I am," Rick smiled, slowly tipping the ladle.

"No! Stop! You'll burn me!"

"No I won't," Rick said gently, stroking his lover's chest, "I don't think I could burn you".

"Rick. Rick! RICK! Aaaah!" Horatio whimpered as he felt the dark chocolate spill onto his stomach, "Ahh. Ahh. Hot. Hot".

"Shh," Stetler whispered, skewering a strawberry and rubbing it in the chocolate he poured on his lover's stomach. Horatio watched longingly as Rick slipped the fruit into his mouth.

"I want one," Horatio quietly requested, his blue eyes pleading.

"So demanding," Rick sighed with a loving smile, coating a berry for his lover and feeding it to him.

The two carried on eating dessert, Horatio getting used to the feeling of the warm chocolate on his stomach after a while. With a few minutes of eating and flirting, the food was gone and both men were incredibly aroused.

Smirking at his wanting lover, Rick leaned down and slowly licked the last of the chocolate from Horatio's body. His fingers lightly brushed against the redhead's shaft, but only for a short moment before Rick went back to stroking Horatio's legs.

"Tease," the redhead muttered, struggling against the restraints in attempt to cradle Rick's head against him.

Rick looked Horatio over in pity, deciding to indulge him. He sat on his lover's stomach and slowly unbuttoned his shirt, occasionally reaching back and stroking the hardness he knew he was responsible for. He tossed the shirt across the room and leaned down, sliding his tongue into Horatio's mouth.

The taste of the aphrodisiacs swirled around in their mouths as their tongues slid against each other. Horatio moaned softly and struggled to get Rick's hips over his for just a bit of friction. Sensing this, Rick broke the kiss and sat up, shaking his head.

"So impatient," Rick smirked, pulling off his belt and tossing it on top of his shirt, "You know me better than that. You know I'll indulge you… eventually".

"Rick, this is torment".

"Don't blame me," Rick chuckled, "this is your kink, not mine".

Horatio's whimper turned into a soft purr as he watched his lover pop open the button on his slacks. Slowly and with a roll of his hips, Rick tugged the zipper down over the bulge in his black silk boxers. He climbed off of his lover for just a moment to get his pants off, only to hop right back on. Slipping his thumbs under the elastic band that made the silk hug his waist, Rick gave Horatio a timid look, as if he was asking for permission.

"Yes," Horatio was barely able to gasp as his crystal blue eyes darkened with passion.

Rick tugged the final article of clothing lower and lower, revealing a good portion of his hips and making Horatio nearly drool in want. Stopping suddenly, Rick shook his head and put a halt to the show. The redhead whined as he realized that he would only be allowed to feel, not see, Rick's manhood.

Slowly, Rick lowered himself down Horatio's body to where he was needed the most. Moaning as he felt Rick stroke up and down his thighs, Horatio threw back his head and dug his shoulder blades into the sheets.

Horatio felt the silk scarves around his ankles come off and Rick give him a little push to pull his knees up. He did so, displaying himself for his lover. Nearly feeling Rick smirk, Horatio gasped as he felt a tongue travel from the tip of his aching cock, down the shaft, over his balls, and around his puckered hole.

Rick chuckled at the soft noises he was able to pull from his lover. He lapped the pre-cum off the redhead's leaking tip before kissing and suckling on it. Placing his hands on Horatio's hips, Rick pressed down and felt his lover resist the added restraint. He listened to Horatio moan loudly and felt him try to thrust up into his mouth. Decisively, Rick broke contact and sat back up.

"Why do you hate me?" the redhead half-moaned half-whined, closing his eyes tightly as he tried to keep himself from screaming with anticipation.

Rick climbed off the bed, Horatio groaning in disappointment when he learned that Rick still had his boxers on. Smirking to himself, the brunette dug around in the nightstand for lube and a cock ring; Horatio was far too close to the edge to last very long without it.

Not wanting to pass up the opportunity, Rick leaned down and gave Horatio a bruising kiss before he returned to where he left off. The redhead lay there, breathless. The kiss disoriented him so that he lost track of all that was happening until he felt Rick snap a cock ring onto him.

Rick smiled to himself before he busied his lips with pleasuring his lover again. As much as Horatio would complain, Rick knew that he loved it. It was a simple truth, the more manhandled and restrained the redhead was, the hotter he got. Given, this was more teasing than anything, but it didn't matter.

There was a time when the two of them could go at each other without much foreplay and Rick would dig his nails into the pale skin of his lover. It would warm Horatio up, but Rick didn't really feel incredibly comfortable with it after what happened between him and Mac. The relationship between pain and sex for either man was very different.

Making sure to keep his hands out of Horatio's line of sight, Rick lubricated a finger. He felt his lover arch his spine as the digit pressed into him. The redhead's heels scrambled for purchase on the slippery sheets as he struggled for more contact.

Over time, Rick let the domination he took over Horatio to drift away from being so physical in nature. Rick had always enjoyed, maybe a little too much so, psychological warfare. It ended up being a win-win compromise for what Horatio wanted and what Rick was comfortable giving him.

The redhead moaned loudly as he felt a second finger tease his entrance and slowly slip into him. He tugged mercilessly on the handcuffs as he tried to find the leverage that his feet were unable to give him. Luckily, these cuffs were stronger than the last pair, which Horatio ended up breaking a few months ago. His bright blue eyes wandered over to the nightstand, where he knew the two broken halves were made their final resting place.

Horatio felt his entire body flush as Rick began scissoring his fingers, loosening up the redhead. He lost all control of his voice and breathed soft gasps and occasional loud bursts of profanity without any thought or realization he was doing it. The only thing he could be aware of were the loud cries of pleasure that came from him as Rick stroked his core. His vision began to blur as every cell in his body begged for Rick.

"I'm ready," Horatio was finally able to choke out.

"Not yet you aren't".

"God fucking damn it, Rick!"

The brunette looked up, seeing his lover practically sobbing with need. As much as he wanted to keep up the game, he knew that he was reaching the point of just being cruel. Rick slid his fingers out of Horatio's stretched entrance, hearing a soft whimper as he did so. He slipped out of his boxers and lubed up his straining cock. He was unable to suppress a smirk, eyeing up what was laid before him as he positioned himself.

"Please don't stare," Horatio whispered, suddenly feeling a little self-conscious.

Rick's eyes dragged up along his lover's torso, finally coming to rest on the other's brilliant blue eyes. "I can't help it," Stetler purred, reaching down and stroking Horatio's chest, "you're too beautiful".

Horatio opened his mouth to retort, but his breath was caught in his throat as he felt Rick press into him. He threw back his head and moaned lowly as his lover just pushed in, deeper and deeper. After a long and beautifully intense moment, Rick was still, leaving Horatio to pant for breath.

Rick leaned down and sucked on the little dip between Horatio's sternum and throat; unable to suppress a smile as he heard his lover gasp longingly. Slowly, painfully slowly, Rick ever so gently thrust into the tight heat of the redhead.

"No," Horatio moaned, just wanting to be fucked senseless and forget this game they played.

"Oh yes," Rick hummed, his lips moving on to suck on every square inch of Horatio's neck.

"Please, Rick".

"You know how to end this".

Reluctantly, Horatio wrapped his legs around his lover, anchoring himself to the small of Rick's back. He grasped onto the iron bars of the headboard as he moved his hips to slide up and down on his lover's hardness. Bracing himself above the redhead to make it easier for him to move, Rick watched Horatio's expression turn from one of irritation to one of want and bliss.

"Admit it," Rick smirked, running his fingers through red chest fur, "you love fucking yourself on me".

The redhead half-nodded as the rest of him just concentrated on sensation and trying to feel as much as he could. Judging by the contractions Rick felt pulse around him, he knew that Horatio must be sitting right on the verge.

"Alright, that's enough," Rick ordered, pushing Horatio's ankles from his back, "I don't need you blacking out on me… yet, at any rate".

Rick pulled nearly all the way out before he slammed back in, striking his lover's prostate. Horatio cried out in ecstasy, throwing his head back and tightening his grip on the bars. Rick played hard and fast, making his lover gasp and scream in want.

Feeling that it was time, Rick coiled his fingers around the redhead's pulsating cock, slowly and steadily pumping him. Horatio thrust vigorously into his lover's hand. All of him was begging for release, although his mouth was unable to find words.

Once Rick knew that Horatio wouldn't be able to hold on for any longer, he snapped off the cock ring. Horatio released a painful scream of Rick's name as he came, his essence spilling on both of them. He clamped down on his lover, sending ripples of pleasure between them. His name was gasped as Rick was milked for everything he was worth, thrusting all the while.

Rick collapsed forward, resting his forehead on his lover's chest. The two of them breathed heavily as they lay there recovering. The brunette heard Horatio's heart pound and felt his breaths steadily rise and fall. Rick smirked to himself as he looked up to see that his lover had blacked out.

Feeling a little groggy himself, Rick pulled out and freed Horatio's wrists from the cuffs. He staggered into the bathroom, too exhausted to figure out how to walk properly again, and grabbed a towel.

After he had them cleaned up, Rick tossed the towel in the general direction of the bathroom, not really paying attention if it made it to the tiled floor or not. He blew out the few candles that hadn't already drowned in their own wax and turned back to the bed.

_He looks so beautiful like this_, Rick thought as his eyes scanned over his sleeping lover.

Horatio's pale skin had an absolutely heavenly glow in the moonlight. He looked so peaceful; lying there, asleep, and completely spent.

Rick timidly crawled into bed beside the man he had desired for most of his adult life. Spooning up behind him, he breathed into that perfect red hair. That night was wonderful; and Rick knew that tomorrow their anniversary would be far from over.


	4. Morning

**Chapter Four: Morning **

Horatio's baby blue eyes fluttered open as he heard the birds call out to each other outside Rick's bedroom window. The sun was rising and bathed the room in a soft, golden glow. Smiling, Horatio rested his hand on Rick's arm that was draped over his waist. He loved the fact that Rick slept holding him; and even though he would never say it, it made him feel safe.

Azure eyes scanned over the half of the room he could see without turning his head. They landed on a small photograph of himself; staring out from behind the glass of an elegant frame. Horatio blushed, wondering how many times Rick had drifted off to sleep after making sure that his was the last face he saw.

His focus shifted as he heard a soft murmur behind him and felt Rick's embrace tighten.

"I hope I didn't wake you," Horatio whispered, craning his neck in attempt to see his lover.

"You didn't," Rick hummed, pressing his lips against the nape of Horatio's neck, "I didn't take things too rough last night, did I?"

"It may hurt to sit for a while," Horatio smirked, spinning around in his lover's arms to look into those light brown eyes, "but I'll be fine".

"There are so many things I want to do with you today," Rick sighed, stroking Horatio's arm before he pulled their bodies together, "Walk along the beach... watch an old movie... all that good stuff, ya know?"

Horatio smiled and nodded, cuddling up with his lover and laying a soft kiss on his shoulder. Before Rick, the redhead had almost forgotten how wonderful it felt to have arms around him early in the morning.

"However," the brown eyed man cooed, "I don't think I could ever want to leave this bed. You just are all too perfect lying here like this".

"I love you, Rick," Horatio purred, nuzzling him, "though I can think of something more than just lying around on this bed".

Rick smirked knowingly. Horatio never struck Rick as someone who would love morning sex; but that wasn't about to stop Rick from granting his lover's desires. They rarely got to have it because of how early Horatio needed to be on call.

"Enlighten me," Rick crooned, pulling the redhead on top of him. Without pause, Horatio leaned down and captured his lover's mouth.

Their tongues slid lovingly across each other, Horatio making Rick dig the back of his head into the full pillows under the attack. The brunette was left panting as he lay there, feeling Horatio's talented lips kiss and suck down his jaw line and neck. The redhead felt hands slip around the small of his back and wander up to tug on his hair.

"Let me take you, Rick" Horatio begged into his lover's ear after nibbling on the lobe.

"Of course," Stetler cooed as he tried to hold back a moan.

It was unusual for Horatio to top. Even though it was about a year since the incidents that stopped the redhead from topping for the sake of Rick's comfort, Horatio was still very cautious.

Horatio reached over into the nightstand and grabbed the lube, stroking Rick's chest as he did. Rick moaned and sighed lustfully as Horatio parted his legs and sat between them. They had discovered that as long as Rick could see the redhead's face, he was at peace. Horatio wasn't sure if he would be able to take Rick on his hands and knees or bent over the side of the bed yet; but this was hardly the time to experiment. Mac's present was already difficult enough for Rick to handle. He didn't need to be reminded of _that_ part of their first two days together any more than he already had been.

Those thoughts that distracted the redhead were brushed away as Rick emitted a soft moan when Horatio's lips touched his stomach.

"Rick," Horatio hummed into warm skin, "You're so sweet and smooth in the morning". Rick's breath caught as his lover pressed wanting lips against his straining cock. "You know, some might think this position as limiting," he continued, nipping around the tip and making Rick gasp, "But I think it's perfect".

Stetler threw back his head and moaned in want as his lover hummed and swallowed him down. The flat of Horatio's tongue rubbed sensually against Rick's pulsating vein as his hands pressed down onto strong thighs.

"You ready?" Horatio cooed, looking up into twinkling brown eyes.

Rick nodded, unable to speak with all the wonderful things his lover was doing to him.

As carefully as he could, Horatio liberally slicked up a finger and slowly slipped it into Rick's tight entrance. He kissed up and down Rick's length to distract him from the mild burn he must be feeling, smiling to himself as he felt fingers lace in his hair.

Several minutes and two more fingers later, Rick finally spoke, "Please Horatio. I'm ready".

The redhead nodded, his tongue lashing out to play with the other man's slit one last time before he sat up. Blue eyes scanned over Rick's body, his skin fresh with the day and already beading with sweat. Rick's chest heaved as he struggled to steady breaths that were far too heavy for him. The redhead lubed up his aching cock and positioned himself, stroking Rick's thighs and hips all the while.

Gently, slowly, Horatio slipped deep into Rick's warm and tight body. Rick let out a soft gasp, adjusting before he bit his lip and let his lover rock into him.

"You feel so wonderful in the morning," Horatio moaned, reaching down and taking Rick's hand, which was clenching the sheets.

The brunette's eyes fluttered open, watching Horatio take his hand and gently kiss it… over and over and over again. Sitting up as much as the position would let him, Rick braced himself with one arm and pulled his lover down with his kissed hand.

Their tongues tangled as Horatio drove in deeper with the shift of angle. He could almost feel the blush cross Rick's cheeks as his core was stroked.

Rick ended the kiss relatively quickly, his arms giving out as he fell back onto the mattress. Only his hand remained connected to Horatio, grasping onto the hair on the back of his head. The redhead smirked, Rick could never last that long in the mornings. That was okay. Neither could he.

Stetler felt like he was literally being unraveled as long fingers wrapped around and pumped his straining cock. He closed his eyes and let his head roll aimlessly on the pillow as he murmured his lover's name, trusting into that rough, pale hand as he came.

Horatio moaned Rick's name deep in his throat as he pumped sweet essence into his spent body. The hairs on his arms stood on end and the tingle of a blush covered his cheeks. Gasping, he slumped down onto Rick's chest as he tried to catch his breath.

There was a long moment before the redhead's eyes drifted open, reacting to the sensation of a hand stroking the back of his head. He smiled as he felt Rick play with his hair.

"You're wonderful," Rick murmured as he continued to pet his lover.

Rick shifted his hips and let Horatio's soft cock slip out of him, giving a soft grunt as he did so. He pulled his lover back up onto the pillows and resumed cuddling him and kissing his neck.

"Wanna sleep some more before breakfast?" Rick smirked as he felt Horatio's arms wrap around him.

The redhead nodded and curled up into Rick's embrace before quietly slipping back out of consciousness.

oOoOo

When Horatio woke up the golden light of morning had brightened into the harsh day. He blinked a few times before he was finally able to open his eyes and find his bearings again.

He was alone in the bed, the bathroom door ajar but with no sign of Rick. Their clothes were picked up from off the floor, folded, and placed into little piles on the dresser. One of the two satin robes put out was gone. Horatio sat up, it wasn't like Rick to let him wake up alone.

He climbed out of bed and pulled the robe against his body, shivering slightly at the sensation of the smooth fabric against his skin. He quickly tied the belt of the same material and grabbed a look at his reflection in the full-length mirror before he turned to the door.

At that moment, a red satin clad Rick shouldered it open, his arms full with a tray of eggs, pancakes, and bacon. Their eyes met, Rick was obviously embarrassed.

"I… I wanted to bring you breakfast in bed," he said timidly.

Going along with it, Horatio pulled off his robe and climbed back between the sheets, turning to look at Rick. The redhead almost looked apologetic for trashing his lover's plans.

Rick managed to stumble into the room without spilling the contents of the tray, bringing it safely to the bed next to his lover.

"I probably should have helped you with that," Horatio admitted shyly as he took it into his hands and set it down.

"It wasn't any burden," Rick smiled, attempting to suavely sit on the edge of the bed and eat with his lover.

The instant Rick sat down he began to see the problem with his plan. Satin on satin is good for little more than sliding around. And slide he did; right onto the floor.

Hardly able to suppress a chuckle, Horatio leaned over the side of the mattress to look at his lover. "Are you alright?"

"My plans have been foiled by my previous plans," Rick observed from his position on the floor.

"Did it hurt you?"

"No… actually it was kinda fun".

oOoOo

"You rattled off a list of things you wanted to do earlier," Horatio said, making conversation as he sat on the bed, eating the last of his breakfast.

"I did".

"What do you want to do after breakfast?"

Rick shrugged, "We can go over to your place and lounge around on the beach". Horatio grunted, not wanting to go home. "Or we can watch an old movie downstairs, if you don't want to move around much".

"What ones do you have?"

"Mostly comedies. Laurel and Hardy; Abbot and Costello; the Marx Brothers; all that good stuff".

"Any Buster Keaton?"

"Of course"

"I'd like that".

"Let me sit and contemplate breakfast first".

"'Contemplate breakfast'?" Horatio chuckled, the phrase struck him strange.

"Yeah," Rick nodded as if he and everyone put those words together in that order all the time, "I don't want to leave my place right after I stuff the last forkful of food in my mouth. I like to sit and digest first".

"... 'contemplate breakfast'?"

"Now you're picking on me," Rick smirked.

Horatio pushed the empty tray aside and pulled his lover into an embrace. "Of course I'm going to pick on you if you use phrases like 'contemplating breakfast'".

"Leave me alone," Rick playfully whimpered as he hid his face in the folds of Horatio's satin robe, "I make you breakfast and what do you do? You wake me up at ungodly hours, you give me a limp, and then you laugh at me".

"You said I didn't wake you up".

"I lied," Rick lied.

Horatio chuckled and tightened his embrace around his lover. He stroked Rick's soft brown hair, leaning down and kissing the top of his head.

"You spoil me," the redhead cooed.

Rick sat up and smiled, "that's because I love you".

"You sap," Horatio laughed, his eyes shining, "I love you too".


	5. Infinity

**Chapter Five: Infinity**

The two men were lounging on the couch, watching the silent actors play out their emotions to each other as the final chords played behind them.

"I love The Great Damfino," Horatio mumbled into Rick's shoulder as the screen faded to black for the last time.

Rick looked up at the man lounging on top of him, petting his hair. As much as Rick loved seeing his lover wrapped in fine Italian suits, he would have to say that he enjoyed seeing Horatio dress down too. It was a nice change of pace to see the great Lieutenant Caine clad in tight jeans and a partially buttoned royal blue shirt.

The two of them started simply cuddling, but after a while Horatio managed to pin his lover to the couch and keep him there for a long time. Neither of them were quite sure how they got to this final position, but neither of them minded much.

"Let me up, Horatio," Rick murmured softly, leaning down and placing a delicate kiss to the top of his lover's head, "I can't feel my right arm".

"Maybe I don't want you to feel your right arm," the redhead whispered, not wanting to move. Rick was incredibly comfortable as both a mattress and a pillow.

"…Let me up".

Pouting, Horatio climbed off his lover and plopped down onto the carpeted floor in front of him. Rick sat up, examining the red imprint the folds of the sofa made on his tingling arm.

"Sorry," Horatio blushed, ducking his head slightly.

"It should be back to normal in a minute or so," Rick shrugged, reaching down and pulling Horatio back onto the couch.

The redhead smiled as his lover's arm draped over him and he was cuddled lovingly. He looked down at his new crystal watch, seeing a smile cross Rick's face from the corner of his eye.

"It's only one in the afternoon," Horatio announced, "we have the rest of the day together, what do you want to do? Watch another movie?"

"Actually," Rick crooned, stroking his lover's arms, "I would like to go to the art museum".

Horatio raised his eyebrow, "I thought that we agreed that we wouldn't go out in public... you know... with the lab and all".

"Do you honestly think that we'd run into Eric or Frank in an art museum?"

"Good point".

"C'mon," Rick smiled and looked deep into those brilliant blue eyes, "Molly told me that they have the infinity chamber on loan from Milwaukee".

"What's an infinity chamber?"

"I dunno, but it sounds really cool".

Horatio slumped back into the cushions in thought. This would be the first time that he and Rick would be going out in public together… in Miami-Dade County at least. They usually went out of jurisdictions to go out for dinner and made a weekend out of it.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he whispered, concern audible in his voice. Rick nodded, making Horatio nervously bite his lip. "Because… you know I'm on the news a lot. People recognize me all the time".

"Not dressed like this, they wouldn't," Rick shook his head, "I promise".

The redhead sighed, Rick obviously really wanted to go to the museum with him. But he did have a point, a slight change of wardrobe made him look very different. And if he wore his reading glasses and a hat… he would hardly be able to recognize himself.

"Alright," he finally agreed.

"Really?" Rick could hardly believe his ears as a smile crossed his face.

"Sure, why the hell not?" Horatio grinned, adoring seeing his lover so happy, "let me find my readers, just in case. And do you have a hat?"

Rick nodded, getting up to dig his fedora out of the closet. He couldn't believe that this was happening. Today was going better than he could have hoped for.

RS

The two men wandered through the large white rooms of the Miami Art Museum, their feet echoing on the light wood floor. Although they were practically alone, they still couldn't hold hands. People would stare and figure out who Horatio was.

They both stopped once they rounded a corner and saw a huge black box sitting in an alcove at the other end of the room they just entered. It was about ten feet by ten feet by ten feet with steps leading up to a platform two feet off the ground. The platform was just large enough for a man to turn around on, it lead up to a black velvet curtain that covered a hole in the wall of the cube. Off to the side was a casually dressed museum guard, who seemed to be fully enjoying his place of employment.

"You think that that's the infinity chamber?" Horatio whispered to his lover.

"It's exactly as Molly described," Rick nodded.

"Do we… do we just go in?"

"I guess. Let's ask the guard".

Horatio and Rick timidly approached the guard, sitting on a bench next to the exhibit. Once they got to him, neither knew what to say. They just stood there, their mouths opening and closing as they pointed to the black curtain.

"Yeah, you can go in," the guard smiled, "just take off your shoes first; and you might want to remove your hat". They toed off their shoes and Horatio tossed the fedora on the bench before stepping onto the platform in front of the curtain. "Take as long as you want, we're having a slow day".

Rick nodded in thanks, discreetly taking Horatio's hand as he parted the heavy curtain. Their jaws both dropped at what they saw.

"Oh my God…" Horatio breathed as he took off his glasses; the first to find any words.

They had stepped into a completely glass chamber. The walls were glass, the ceiling was glass, the floor was glass… everything. The glass was a type of two way mirror with those in the box as the observers. The two-way mirror box was inside a larger box, this one with perfectly polished regular mirrors. Sandwiched between the two boxes were points of golden light suspended from little black sticks that held them in place.

But they didn't see the sticks. They didn't see the mirrors. Those things were unimportant to them. The whole was so much greater than the sum of its parts.

They stood in the dark chamber, surrounded by infinite points of golden light… everywhere. Eyes wide, they looked up and down, seeing more of the same. Little lights… little stars… stretching on for infinity. There was no sound that could be heard, neither man could even remember how to breathe.

"I love you," Rick was finally able to whisper.

Horatio looked up into Rick's soft brown eyes. He had never witnessed anything so beautiful. All he wanted was to be in his lover's arms, but he had forgotten how to speak or even move. As if he could read Horatio's mind, Rick pulled him into an embrace and lovingly kissed his neck.

"You know Rick," Horatio said softly into the younger man's shoulder, "That first evening we were together… right after I came out to you… I wanted to go outside and look at the stars with you. For the first time in my life, I just wanted to lie in someone's arms and count the stars. And I needed that someone to be you".

"Why didn't we?" Rick purred into his lover's hair. He had never felt so moved or so loved before.

"It was storming out. We couldn't see the stars if we wanted to".

"Now we can. We can look at all the stars we could ever want to here".

"These aren't really stars…"

"I can make them better than stars," Rick smiled, pulling away slightly.

"How?"

"Horatio," Rick took a deep breath before he continued, "This is what I see every time I look in your eyes. Walking across this chamber is how I feel whenever I'm by your side.

"I have said that I would like to spend eternity with you. Horatio, before all this happened, eternity always looked to be more like oblivion to me. But now… because of you… it's more like this. Just beauty and… and a masterpiece… forever and ever.

"This moment… right now… I… I can hardly imagine anything closer to heaven. I can almost feel its breath against my soul… as much as I do whenever I hold you in my arms. I've never felt so complete.

"I know I'm just saying it now, but I've needed to say it for the longest time. I've needed to tell you all this since the first time I laid eyes on you. Since the first time you spoke to me… the first time you held me… the first time we kissed. There have been so many moments you have given me that made me think _I could die happy now_.

"And at times I thought I would die… in your arms I mean. Die because my heart would feel that nothing in life could ever compare to so perfect a moment you had given me. Die because I want to give every breath in my body to you.

"I'm yours, Horatio. All of me. Nothing on Earth or in Heaven could possibly change that. Nothing. Nothing, not even music, can fully articulate the love I feel for you every moment of my life".

A silence fell over the two of them. But Rick didn't stop. In a way that transcended all movement and sound he kept going. Horatio felt that he could still hear Rick tell him the most divine things… but on a level that he could never understand, let alone explain. He just looked into those brown eyes and gazed into a soul that reached out for him.

Horatio's eyes watered and his lips parted, breathing heavily before he could speak, "Rick… that… that was beautiful".

"I couldn't say any less for you; and I can only wish I could say more".

"You have," Horatio smiled.

If it weren't so dark, Rick would be clearly able to see his lover blushing. He was completely tongue tied. Everything that Horatio felt in his heart had already been said. And he wasn't as poetic or romantic as Rick, he knew that. He just wasn't the type of man who could easily find words for the intense degree of love and devotion he felt. Whenever he thought he had found love before, part of him just wanted to run away from it. He was afraid of holding on to anyone so tightly, afraid that the world would play it out as just not meant to be. Rick was already nearly taken from him; part of Horatio felt that if he loved anyone he would just be endangering them.

But there was something in the soft and kind way Rick gazed down into his eyes. Rick was the one who should be afraid; after all he had been through. But the love they had for each other was more powerful than anything fear could ever bring. And for the first time in his life, Horatio wasn't afraid of love. It was no longer some abstract that could tear his soul to pieces. It was gentle… it was kind… it was a real and true love.

"I… I don't know what to say," the redhead finally stammered, hardly remembering how to breathe.

Rick smiled slightly and his eyes shone, "there is one thing you could say, Horatio, to make this moment complete heaven".

"What?"

"You'll know in a few seconds".

Rick tried to discreetly take a few deep breaths, attempting to keep from fainting in the euphoria. He took Horatio's hands in his own, their palms both slightly moist. Brown eyes rushed to meet the comfort of Horatio's baby blues before he clasped those two soft, pale hands over his left.

What happened next nearly made Horatio's heart forget how to beat. Slowly, steadily, Rick lowered himself down onto one knee. They didn't break eye contact, they couldn't. Hands trembling, Rick reached into his suit pocket, pulling out a little red velvet box.

He released his lover's hands to open it. There, tucked inside black silk lining, was something shining with the starlight of the chamber. A thick gold band with a small diamond starburst carved in the middle of it.

Behind it all was Rick. Kneeling there, presenting the ring with eyes slightly begging. It felt like his entire life was just leading him to this moment. His hands shook as he let his heart and soul fall into his lover's arms.

"Horatio, will you forever be my better half?"

Horatio's mouth fell open, but he couldn't for the life of him speak.


	6. Will You?

**Chapter Six: Will You?**

Rick's heart was pounding such that he was positive the entire museum could hear him. He was glad his hands were able to support each other; else the ring would have tumbled right off of his trembling palms.

He could see Horatio get lost in the glimmer of the diamond as he struggled to find breath. He could see behind those blue eyes a mind frantically trying to process what was happening. He could almost hear Horatio internally ask himself _"Am I dreaming?"_

Although Rick bit his tongue to keep from pressing the question, the plea was still in those big brown eyes.

"Oh God," Horatio was finally able to whisper, "Rick… it's beautiful… But I'm sorry".

_What?_

"I can't, Rick," Horatio said softly, "not now, at any rate".

_What?_

Rick slowly dropped his hands and jaw went slightly slack, the only sign of his need to collapse onto the glass floor. Thought could only come to him in short questions.

_Doesn't he love me? What did I do wrong? Was I too forward? Was I too rough? I love him more than anything, why can't we be together? I've gone through hell to make this work, did I fail at that? Did I fail at the one thing I almost gave my life for? Did I already give my life for it? How much of me is left?_

Horatio's blue eyes blurred with the tears that began to fill them. He didn't mean to hurt Rick so badly… there was still a lot left to explain. But he suddenly wasn't sure if Rick would ever give him the chance to.

He sat down by Rick's side on the floor, put a hand on the other man's back, and stroked him soothingly. His heart began to break as he was given no reaction. If Rick would have begun to cry or would have pulled away, it would mean that he still meant something. But this… Horatio didn't know what to think.

_Am I dreaming?_

"Rick," Horatio whispered, receiving no response.

_Why am I having this nightmare? Why can't I wake up?_

"Please, Rick," he cooed again, feeling his stomach turn to stone when Rick still gave no sign of acknowledgement.

_I just want to wake up._

"I owe you an explanation; please let me give it to you".

_Oh God, why can't I wake up?_

Rick choked as the tears that flooded his eyes began to fall. He bit down on his lip to keep his soul from audibly screaming in pain. It felt like both his mind and heart have been crushed against the glass walls of the chamber. And what was worse, he didn't even have Horatio's arms to run to. He was alone. Completely alone. Alone and numb. His eyes wandered around the cube, suddenly making him feel lost and helpless.

"Rick, can you hear me?" Horatio asked, his voice shaking.

_Why did I have to lose him?_

The redhead pulled their bodies together and whispered gently into his hair, "I love you".

Unsure, Rick looked up and into Horatio's eyes for the first time in what felt like hours, "Really?"

"Of course I do. I love you more than anything".

Thinking for a fleeting moment that Horatio had said 'yes' and that he just want mad, Rick lightly nudged the ring box towards his lover.

"I want to, but I can't" Horatio sighed, wanting to cry as he saw the ring be pushed towards him again. "Please let me explain".

Rick thought for a moment. He tried to figure out what was happening on his own before he let Horatio speak again. Not able to come up with anything, he finally nodded for the other man to continue.

"I love you, Rick. I know we're supposed to be together, and I want things to be no other way. But… my team is like family to me. I love them as if we have been family for ages. And Kyle, Yelina, and Ray Jr… What I'm trying to say is that I just don't feel right keeping them all in the dark. And, in all honestly, I don't want to have to keep this secret from them for any longer".

Rick was quiet for a while before he spoke. "So you want to come out to them?"

Horatio nodded.

"About just your sexuality or about me too?"

"Both".

Rick took a few deep breaths, trying to calm himself down. His heart was still pounding and tears still dampened his face.

"I don't think they'd approve of me," he finally said.

"I'm not looking for their approval," Horatio answered, shaking his head, "I just what them to know who I really am. And if they think any less of me afterwards, that's their problem".

"Are you sure?"

"Rick," Horatio purred, "I just need to tell them. After I do, then I'll be comfortable accepting your proposal".

"I don't want to make them hate you".

"Anyone who would hate me for this is no friend of mine".

The redhead reached into his back pocket and pulled out a handkerchief. Carefully pulling Rick's hands away from his face, he began wiping the tears away; only making more come. Rick drew in a quick little breath as he felt himself be pulled into a loving embrace.

"I'm sorry for scaring you," Horatio whispered.

"It's okay".

"No it isn't, Rick".

Horatio pressed his lips into his lover's shoulder, feeling Rick nuzzle up against him in response. Rick reached down and pocketed the ring once more. His heart sank a little as he did, but at least he knew now that one day Horatio would accept. Which got him wondering, as much as he didn't want to push Horatio, he had to wonder.

"When are you going to tell them?"

"Soon," Horatio cooed, patting his hair, "I promise".

Rick sniffled softly as he finally pulled away, nodding in understanding. The tears had stopped falling, but he still felt like he had his heart in his throat. Everything was going to be okay, at least it should be. Given, he wasn't really rejected; but that didn't stop the ache he felt.

"I'm sorry," Horatio apologized again, standing up and helping his lover to his feet.

Rick said nothing, but took his lover's face in his hands and placed a long and slow kiss on his lips. Their arms coiled around each other, both men needing to be held closer than they ever had been before.

The long kiss turned into a series of little nips they exchanged. Horatio felt Rick's hand slide up the back of his neck, fingers lacing in his hair as he was cradled. He was trying to figure out when he should come out, the time getting closer and closer with every moment that he was kept in Rick's embrace.

Finally, they broke away, Horatio looking up into those sad brown eyes, "I'll tell them next weekend. But I need you to be there".

"I'll always be right here for you," Rick said gently, just in case Horatio still didn't fully understand how much he was loved.

They stood in an embrace, staring into each other's eyes. The little points of golden light still shone in the darkness of the chamber, and no matter what just happened; they still went on for infinity.

Rick was the first to break the connection; he heard voices on the other side of the curtain.

"I think someone else wants to come in here," he said softly, kissing his lover's cheek one last time.

Horatio nodded, they pulled apart just in time to see a middle aged man poke his head in. Carefully, they scooted past the newcomers; blinking as they came back into the light of the galleries. Rick's face was still slightly flushed, but that was the only visible change between them. The casual outside observer would have never guessed what had happened.

"Do you want to see another exhibit, or do you want to go home?" Horatio whispered, cocking his head.

"I kinda just want to go home and lie down now," Rick admitted, not really making eye contact.

"I understand," the redhead nodded, wringing his hands slightly when he saw that Rick was still hurting, "But can I buy you some gelato in the park across the street first?"

His face still flushed, Rick nodded before leading them out of the museum.

oOoOo

"You're hiding in the shade," Horatio observed as he walked over to his lover, two gelato-filled waffle cones in hand.

Rick was standing under a tree in the shade of the building next to the park. He shrugged slightly as he reached out to take his lemon gelato from Horatio's hand. He lightly nipped his soft lips against the dessert, not really having much of an appetite.

"The light hurts my eyes," he explained as he watched Horatio try to enjoy chocolate.

The food was delicious, but what had happened between them could make anything taste bitter.

"I'm sorry if I'm depressing you," Rick whispered, wishing he could see Horatio at least somewhat enjoy himself. It was such a beautiful day out, and things started out so well. "I guess it's… well… this is hardly what I thought would happen".

"I know. And I'm sorry, Rick".

"_The best laid plans…_"

"Nothing ever goes according to plan," Horatio sighed, "Life always screws everyone over… and that's okay. You just have to remember that no matter how much it hurts, that you are never alone. Somebody out there will always be crying with you". He looked around before taking another step closer to Rick, "And I'll always love you".

Rick brought the lemon ice to his lips, but couldn't eat. He was too busy biting down on his tongue, trying to force his thoughts away from the tears that needed to fall. He just needed to cry. The only sensible thing he felt he would be able to do was to run home, crawl under the covers and cry until he couldn't stay awake any longer. If he didn't, the feeling would be tearing at him all day.

"Maybe this wasn't such a good idea," Horatio sighed, looking down at his chocolate gelato, "I thought it would make you feel better. But I guess neither of us really have much of an appetite". Rick nodded in agreement and understanding, not sure how much longer he could keep himself together. "Give me your keys and I'll drive you home".

Rick nodded again, handing the key ring over to the redhead as he was lead to the car.

oOoOo

Horatio placed their unfinished desserts into two separate dishes and into the freezer. He sighed deeply as he realized that he had ruined his own anniversary. After all the beautiful things Rick had said and all the thought he had put into the location… it wasn't fair.

_He's such a good kid,_ Horatio thought as he closed the freezer door and walked out of the kitchen, _For all the crap that people give him and so few who are there to support him… he's so loving._

Rick stood at the base of the stairs, leaning on the banister and just staring at the floor. Not knowing what else to do, Horatio walked up to him and give him a gentle peck on the cheek.

"Not to offend," Rick said softly, "But I'd rather be alone for the rest of today".

"I'm not offended".

"I'm sorry I'm so-"

"You have nothing to be sorry about, Rick. I, however, do. I didn't mean to hurt you; you know I didn't mean to hurt you".

"I know," Rick nodded lightly stepping up onto the landing of the staircase.

"Should I… should I go home then?"

"Yes, I think that would be best".

"Right," Horatio backed slowly into the door, not wanting to break eye contact with Rick.

"I'll see you tomorrow around the labs".

"Get some sleep".

Rick only nodded before he turned and climbed the steps. Horatio stood still and listened to him walk down the hall and into his bedroom. The redhead opened the door and stepped out into the brisk Miami air. Locking the door behind him, he slowly walked over to his car, glancing back at the house every few steps.

_I love him more than anything… but he deserves better than me_.


	7. Phobia

**Chapter Seven: Phobia**

Horatio's eyes fluttered open as the morning sun drenched his bedroom in light. He lay tangled in the bed sheets, his arms wrapped around the pillow he last night wished could be Rick. Closing his baby blue eyes, Horatio buried his face in the soft downy thing he was holding.

_Oh Rick… I'm sorry_.

The redhead still hadn't forgiven himself for hurting his lover… who really _should_ be his fiancé… so badly. Once he got home yesterday he tried to do something productive, just to focus his energy into something that wasn't so painful. But his mind couldn't stop drifting back to Rick's sad eyes. Eventually he gave up on his work and decided to watch some television. But he couldn't keep still, so he just turned it off. After picking up and putting down about a dozen books, he got frustrated, took a long bath, and went to bed. It was only seven in the evening, but he didn't care. He couldn't concentrate on sleeping anyways. He eventually was able to doze off, but not for very long. The rest of the night he spent tossing and turning, catching whatever sleep he could until he finally was so exhausted he passed out, that was around four in the morning.

Which reminded him, what time was it?

He rolled over and looked at the alarm clock he forgot to set. It was nine in the morning. Shit. Nothing like being late to work after a day like yesterday.

As much as he wanted to just lie back down and fall back asleep, he knew he had to get going. With his luck, he probably was already called out.

Horatio rolled out of bed and pulled on his slacks and belt. As he rummaged around in the dresser for his blue shirt, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror. His chest and shoulders were covered with little marks Rick's lips had given him from yesterday morning and the night before. They were little memories from before all this happened.

Breathing a heavy sigh, Horatio buttoned up his shirt and pulled on his suit jacket. He wasn't sure that Rick had forgiven him. And yes, they have argued before. But... Horatio had never made Rick cry before. At least... never like this.

_He deserves better than me._

Still feeling that he couldn't work, the redhead grabbed some toast and coffee. He pocketed his cell, secured his badge and gun to his belt, and with a heavy heart and uneasy stomach he left for the labs.

oOoOo

The redheaded lieutenant sat behind his desk in the fishbowl office. He was reviewing Eric's report of an investigation one last time before he would put it before a judge. Every report filed by the CSIs went through Horatio first. Good thing they never failed to make his job incredibly easy.

The part of his brain that wasn't focusing on the case kept drifting back to the previous afternoon. It kept prodding him with that tired old question _"What if?"_ What if he had said yes? What if they didn't go to the museum? What if he had had the strength to come out to his lab earlier? His thoughts were jumbled; and once he had realized that he just read the same line of Eric's report seven consecutive times, he knew he had to put it down.

Although he didn't know how he would be received, he knew he had to talk to Rick again. He had already made up his mind; he planned to come out to his team over dinner on Friday. And now that he decided on a time, he needed to tell Rick. There have been numerous times during the past year when Horatio had wanted to come out to his lab, but the weeks always seemed to slip by without much warning. This time would be different. This time he would tell Rick his plans, instead of just keeping them in his head. This time he knew that he would be able to get through it, because he would have Rick to hold his hand. That is… if Rick still wanted to be with him; Horatio honestly wasn't sure.

Whatever the case, he knew that nothing would get done if he just sat around his office. He took a deep breath and forced himself out of his chair and across the room to the door. He was petrified, of course he was petrified. He was setting the stage for the most important and life changing speech he would ever have to give. It would be unnatural not to be shaken by the loud pounding of a nervous heartbeat. But he would not let the change frighten him, as it had so many times before.

Holding his head high and upholding a commanding presence, he ordered his feet to cross the labs to the elevators. They obeyed. And although his hands shook, he pressed the button up to the third floor. He had to do this. He could never break Rick's heart again.

oOoOo

"Is H going up to IAB?" Ryan wondered aloud as he watched his boss step into the elevator.

Eric looked up from the examination table, catching a glimpse of Horatio as the doors closed behind him. He glanced over at his office and bit his lip, "I hope not. That's my report he left in the middle of".

"Uh oh".

"Yeah".

"This is not your week is it?"

"With two investigations?" Eric raised his eyebrow as he tried to focus on the clothes he was supposed to be examining. "I'm starting to think that Stetler personally hates me".

"I think he personally hates everyone," Ryan smirked. "Not a single one of us hasn't been under one of his investigations. I just don't know why he has always made them so personal".

"Yeah, I mean… you think he might have lightened up… I mean… after what happened to him last year".

"Was that just a year ago? It feels longer to me".

"Remember that ring gag?" Eric muttered, suddenly very unable to focus on his work. "Not many pieces of evidence that I have personally examined hit me as hard as that one did. I mean, I can't imagine being forced to… like that…"

"The blood on his cuffs did it for me," Ryan shuddered at the memory, "he must have been struggling with his life to have been cut up that badly".

"But after he got out of the hospital, he was back to his usual nasty self. It was like the experience just didn't faze him".

"I know. It's sad… and I know I should feel sorry for him. But in all honesty… he sickens me… he really sickens me".

"No kidding. I mean… I know he was abducted at gunpoint, beaten, and raped… but I still can't feel anything for him. If anything I think less of him for still being so selfish after all that".

"And he survived all that… I guess the old saying is true".

"Of course. _Only the good die young_".

oOoOo

Molly watched, slightly amused, as Horatio paced in front of Rick's office door, trying to muster up the strength to knock. No matter how many times he had made the journey to Rick's office, he always looked so nervous. It looked like every time was his first, like he was always just as romantic as he was a year ago. And once Horatio leaves, she gets to see how happy her boss is, the glimmer in his eye and the glow in his face.

After a long anticipatory moment, the redhead finally knocked, nearly making Molly applaud. The door swung open for him and he disappeared into his lover's office.

"Horatio," Rick smiled warmly as he led the redhead to the couch, "How are you? You look like you haven't gotten enough sleep again".

"I haven't Rick, I… I…"

Horatio looked into the brunette's kind face. He didn't really expect this, and he didn't know why not. The engagement wasn't declined, just delayed a bit; and soon they won't have to wait any longer. Things haven't really changed between them. And as he felt Rick drape a protective arm over his shoulders, a tear slid down the side of his face.

"Horatio, what's wrong?"

"I… I don't know," he was surprised to hear himself choke slightly. "I just thought that you didn't want to… stay with me. I know I hurt you- I didn't mean to. I…"

Rick leaned over and gently brushed his lips against Horatio's flushing cheeks. Tears ran from bright blue eyes, their owner unable to keep them from falling. He choked again and sniffled as he felt Rick cuddle him.

"Why are you crying?" he whispered into soft red hair.

"Last night I thought I was losing you. And now… everything's okay?"

"What? Horatio. Of course everything's okay. I don't know what I would do if I ever lost you".

Rick watched as Horatio shed tears of relief, the drops running from his eyes and falling from his cheeks to his chest. At times like this Rick wished that Horatio wouldn't be so private and reserved with his emotions. When he keeps so much bottled up inside, he usually just ends up hurting himself.

"Shh," Rick cooed lovingly as Horatio let out an audible sob, "It's okay. I'm here. I'm _right_ here".

Horatio buried his face into Rick's shoulder, drying his tears and finding that comfort he had needed since yesterday afternoon. With heavy breaths, Horatio was finally able to calm himself down after a few minutes.

"You want some water?" Rick whispered, gently rocking Horatio in his arms.

Horatio nodded and was rested back against the couch as his lover got up and went to the mini fridge next to the filing cabinets. He pulled out a little water bottle, breaking the seal as he returned to Horatio's side. He quietly watched as Horatio took a long sip from the bottle, stroking the redhead's back to feel the weight of the tears lift from him.

"Sometimes I hate myself," Rick said with a slight smile on his face.

"Why?"

"Because I can't help but to find your eyes unspeakably beautiful when they're filled with tears," Rick sighed, making the corner of Horatio's mouth turn upwards, "they're so moving".

After a long pause he finally answered, "I love you too, Rick".

He lifted Rick's arm and placed it over his shoulders again. The brunette smiled as they cuddled, nerves finally under control and their minds at peace… at least for a while. His eyes wandered over every familiar corner and notch of his office. It was beyond a doubt that Horatio was the only person who could ever make the tiny room a sanctuary… to make it the only place in the world that mattered for the few moments they were in it. Nuzzling against his lover's brilliant red hair, he knew that no matter what, Horatio would always make him feel complete.

"I'm coming out to my team," Horatio said suddenly.

Rick blinked for a few moments, trying to figure out if he had heard him correctly, "Are you sure?"

Horatio nodded, knowing that no matter how terrifying the anticipation may be, there would be no turning back now. Besides, Rick would be right there by his side when he did come out. Whatever happens, he wouldn't be alone.

"When?"

"Hopefully this Friday, I'll talk to them and reserve a room for eleven at Da Victorio".

"Eleven?"

"Yeah. Calleigh, Eric, Ryan, Natalia, Valera, Frank, Yelina, Ray Jr., Kyle, you, and I".

The brown eyed man raised his eyebrows, he clearly wasn't expecting for Horatio to be coming out to so many people at the same time. Although… perhaps it should have been obvious.

"That's a lot of people," Rick finally said after a long moment.

"They all deserve the right to know".

Rick nodded in agreement, wishing that he didn't know each of them so personally.

"How did you come out to your family?" Horatio asked, realizing that they had never had this discussion before. Rick had always seemed to steer the conversation away from it.

"Well," Rick sighed, looking away thoughtfully. "It was during Thanksgiving back in 1986. My extended family got a little large, so we never sat down at one table for our meal. So, of course, I couldn't just get up and announce it. Instead, I skipped dinner completely and first told my sister. She was accepting of it, in fact, I think she already knew. Then went around to all nine of my cousins, they suspected, but weren't positive. Things went very well until I decided to come out to my Uncle Irving.

"He was a religious man, and back then I used to assume that that meant one wasn't quick to pass judgment. I often spend time wondering why that assumption had to be wrong. I wanted his blessing before I told my parents… I was terrified of what they might think of me. Anyways, Irving goes off the deep end; makes a scene.

"He gets up and starts shouting, 'I can't believe that you would disgrace your own family. And with such perverted and disgusting ways, too. I am a man of the Lord, and I know that you are caught in a life of sin. Rick, God thinks it's better for your seed to land in the belly of a whore than for you to lie with another man. You should be ashamed of yourself'.

"The whole house knows now, and I can feel everyone's eyes on me. I start crying, and everyone just keeps on staring. I was angry and hurt and betrayed and afraid all at the same time. I could see my mother out of the corner of my eye, but I couldn't bring myself to look at her.

"Then I hear my grandmother, 89 years old and nearly deaf, she just turns and asks my Uncle Greg a quiet 'What's going on?'.

"Irving just marches right up to her, looks back at me, and then at my father before he says 'Bill's son just announced that he doesn't want to be part of this family anymore'.

"I start crying harder and shake my head, hoping that she would see and believe me over her eldest son. Dad confronts Irving, trying to defend me. The rest of the family is split at the generation gap… except for my mother, who led me into the kitchen, gave me a piece of pie, and told me to lie down. She knew me well… always did".

Horatio looked into Rick's soft brown eyes. He could hear how his heart was in his throat. No wonder he didn't want to tell his story. The more Horatio thought about it, the more he was sure that he might not have been able to decide to come out if Rick had told the story first.

"I hope I didn't scare you out of this," Rick sighed, pulling Horatio into a closer embrace. "It was scary, but I don't regret it. What do I care about some homophobe's personal acceptance, anyways? I'm not about to get it. It separated 'family' out from people who I am related to by blood alone. And what's the point of having a bunch of people who say that they're family if they're not about to accept who you are and always have been".

Horatio nodded and rested his head on Rick's shoulder. He tried to stay strong, but in his heart he was afraid that he would lose the only family he ever had.


	8. Suspicious Minds

**Chapter Eight: Suspicious Minds**

Horatio stood in the CSI's break room, clutching the water bottle Rick gave him. He had told his team that he would like to have a short word with them after their shift. Kyle, Frank, Yelina, and Ray Jr. had all already been phoned and confirmed that they could be at Da Victorio at 6:00 on Friday.

Valera was already there, but she usually ended up finishing up her work before anyone else anyways. Horatio watched her, checking her e-mail via her phone, and wondered what she would think of his relationship with Rick. Before he had his mind focused on how Kyle, Yelina, Eric, and Calleigh would react; but now that he was alone with Valera, she was all he could focus on.

There wasn't much about her private life that Horatio knew about. She didn't strike him as being incredibly right wing or religious, so it would catch him by surprise if she had anything against him being bi. But that didn't concern him as much as what she would think about him having a relationship with Rick.

The lab saw Rick as someone who was just simply not to be trusted. They didn't know that he is a musician. They didn't know what it feels like to be wrapped in his protective arms. And even after what happened last year, they still refused to see his fragile nature.

But Valera had always separated herself from the rest of the team. She went to different clubs, had many other friends, and didn't expose too much of her private life. And as for her opinion of Rick, she never had any incredibly negative encounter with him. The one time they did meet up, she was already blaming herself for what had happened.

She could be influenced by the team, but she didn't strike Horatio as someone who would give into that sort of peer pressure. He honestly wasn't sure where her sympathies lie; in him, in the team, or somewhere in her own judgment. In all honesty, he knew that she may not be the most important piece of the puzzle; she wasn't about to influence Calleigh or Eric. But she remained a point of interest because she was the only enigma in the group.

"What's this about, Horatio?" Natalia asked as she walked in.

"I'll tell you once everyone gets here," Horatio answered, nodding towards a chair in offer to sit.

Natalia... she couldn't be less of an enigma. Everyone knew of her hatred for Rick, it was practically legendary. He knew that he wouldn't be able to have an intelligent argument with her. He didn't see the point in telling her, but he should at least grant her the respect to include her. It was obvious that she would disapprove, but her opinion wasn't very important to him. She often came off as a little juvenile, in his opinion.

Eric and Calleigh quickly followed her in, hand in hand. It was them he was most concerned about. Between Calleigh's father and Eric's reported use of marijuana, Rick had often put them under the microscope. And as horrible as it sounded, Horatio was convinced that even after Eric had worked the Daemon case, he still despised Rick. Even his lover's rape didn't seem to soften Eric's heart at all.

As for Calleigh, she was always wary of Rick, ever since they first met. He was sure that she would be able to accept him after a while. But at first she would be upset... no... irate. Anything drastic and coming out of left field like that never failed to both confuse and anger her.

As long as Eric and Calleigh stayed together, they would perpetually keep the anger and distrust for Rick alive and well. Each had an incredibly strong influence on the other; and they both had an overpowering influence on Natalia and Ryan.

The couple chatted with Natalia as they waited for Ryan. Valera remained quiet, playing with her phone on the couch. Horatio sighed deeply, trying to remember the feeling of Rick's arms around him. He tried to recall the look in Rick's eyes when he got down on one knee. He just needed to remember everything that Rick had ever done that made him smile; everything that would make the fear that was consuming him and his inevitable judgment worth it.

"Mr. Wolfe," He said once Ryan stepped into the break room, "Glad to see you could make it".

"Sorry I'm a little late, H," he blushed, "but I needed to clean up the examination table all by myself because _somebody_ felt like ditching me".

Eric blushed, smiling at his friend as he handed him a soda from the refrigerator.

"Now, I know we've had a long day," Horatio said, smiling as his team gave him their undivided attention, "and we all want to get home. But I have an announcement: seeing as we all have both Friday and Saturday off this week, I propose that we all meet up at Da Victorio on Friday for food and drink".

The team exchanged smiles and glances. They rarely are able to go out and just enjoy themselves. Given, they spend a lot of time around each other in the labs, but there was so much more to be said about meeting up outside of the workplace.

"I was thinking we meet up around 6:00 and go to… well… we'll see how things go from there".

"I like the way you think, H," Eric smiled.

"Is everybody free then? Or have you made plans".

Nods and affirmative mumbles went around the room. Nobody noticed Horatio nervously bite at his lip at their reaction. It was going to happen, he couldn't turn back now.

"This is a really good idea, H" Natalia grinned, "why don't we do this more often?"

"Timing I guess," he shrugged, wondering if this really was as good as an idea as his conscience told him it would be.

oOoOo

Horatio sat down on Rick's couch, poking at the day old gelato with his spoon. Rick smiled as he joined him, his own dessert in hand.

"It's okay to be afraid," he cooed gently, "It wouldn't be natural for you not to be".

"Are you sure it's okay to come out about… us?"

"I'll have to stop working your team's cases," Rick sighed, putting an arm around his lover, "but they won't fire me, I checked into that. But still, for our own safety, I believe that this should be kept from the general public".

"Rick, you know my team's no good at keeping secrets".

"Then I guess you're just going to have to trust them for this one".

Horatio shrugged and nodded, eating his dessert and enjoying the sensation of Rick cuddling him.

"Do they at least suspect that you're bi?"

"I don't think so," Horatio sighed, "in the beginning I was positive that anyone who got close to me could figure it out. But over this past year, I honestly can say that I'm not sure. If anything, they would think that there was somebody, but they probably think that somebody is a woman".

"Won't they be surprised," Rick chuckled.

"I don't think it's anything to joke about".

"I'm sorry, I guess I'm just nervous".

Horatio sighed deeply, looking down at the floor. Although his team was a major concern, he worried about Kyle. With the short amount of time that Horatio got to know his son, they never spoke on politics. Given the sort of people that he knew Kyle was raised by, Horatio could only hope that he would be accepting. Maybe prison had given him a skewed view of homosexuality. Maybe Julia did.

Rick set his dessert down on the coffee table before turning his head and nipping at his lover's ear. Although he didn't wish for distraction, it was welcome. Horatio moaned softly as he was caressed and kissed.

For decades, Horatio had wanted a child. He needed someone to teach, protect, and love more than he ever thought he could anyone. There was something about the innocence of a child that moved Horatio in a way nothing else could. The thought of there being flesh of his flesh out there, his mind molded by perfect strangers, tore at the redhead. He was now too old to raise a family in the way he always needed do. Kyle was as close as he could ever get to his dream, and they hardly knew each other.

He could only hope that he would take well to his and Rick's relationship. At heart, Kyle was a good young man. Kyle already saw him as a father figure, despite the decade and a half they spent apart. He didn't even know Rick. Maybe things won't be that bad.

"I know they'll accept us," Rick sighed, thinking that Horatio was still thinking about the team. "Sooner or later… most likely later for the most of them. For those who are bitter, they'll have to realize that they are throwing away a valuable friendship because of their skewed perspective on reality. And the reality is this: I love you, and plan to spend the rest of my life by your side. Now, the disapproving people on your team have one of two options: they can continue pretending that things are different, or they can accept reality… accept us".

"How long would that take?"

"I don't know. It takes a sort of inspiration for most people to sort these sorts of things out. And you can't force inspiration on anyone. You just have to hope that things will click before they get too bad".

Horatio nodded in agreement, putting his empty dish on the coffee table next to Rick's. He was getting tired, the cases and making up with Rick and planning the night he'd come out to the team really took a lot out of him. At this point he wanted to just go up to Rick's bed and turn in for the night.

Sensing this, the brunette let go of Horatio and collected their dirty dishes, dumping them in the sink. The two men turned off the living room lights before going upstairs into Rick's bedroom.

Horatio sat on the edge of his side of the bed, taking off his belt as he tried to stay awake for just a little longer. Rick smiled at his lover as he removed his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. He looks so harmless and sweet when he's sleepy.

The redhead tugged off his pants and pulled his shirt over his head. In one swift motion he slid under the covers and onto the cool mattress. It didn't take long before the light went off and he felt the bed dip as Rick climbed in next to him.

Rick pulled his lover into his arms, spooning up behind him and kissing the back of his neck as they got comfortable.

"Horatio?"

"Hmm?"

"I know that they'll accept you. It's me they'll have the problem with".

"Don't talk like that, Rick".

"I just wanted to apologize for making things difficult… I honestly think that they would be more willing to see you with _anyone_ else".

Horatio spun around in Rick's arms, turning to face him.

"Maybe so," he admitted, "But remember: I'm just doing this to be fair to them. I'm not asking for their permission".

Rick pulled Horatio into a tight embrace, leaning down and brushing their lips together.

"I guess I'm just nervous is all".

"Me too, Rick," the redhead sighed, stroking the side of his lover's face. "Me too".


	9. Da Victorio pt 1

_I knew there was something I was supposed to do last night. Apologies to all my early morning readers._

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**Chapter Nine: Da Victorio Part One**

Horatio and Rick pulled up to the restaurant at 5:15, happy to see that they were the first ones there. Rick took a good look around the small room where the scene that will determine the quality of Horatio's work life for the next several weeks will play out. There was a long table with one of the ends butted up against a wall. There were five chairs on each side and one on the end. Although he knew that it would be highly irregular to assign seats, Rick wished he could. He wanted to be as far away from Natalia or Yelina as possible.

"You ready?" Horatio asked quietly, putting a hand on Rick's shoulder.

"No. You?"

"Not at all".

"I'm sure they're not either".

"At least we have a level playing field".

Rick sighed deeply and checked his watch, it was 5:30. Horatio had told Kyle, Yelina, Ray Jr., and Frank to come at 5:45. Whoever came now would still be a little early, but considering that traffic wasn't as bad as it usually was, it would be expected.

"You catch them as they come in," Rick instructed after giving Horatio a quick peck on the cheek, "I'll hide out in the bathroom. Text me when you need me to come in and everything's set".

Horatio nodded before pulling Rick into a secluded corner and pressing their lips together. Mouths opened, tongues tangled, and hands wandered as each man tried to build up the other's courage. It was more comforting than anything. They told each other that their love would stay strong… even if they couldn't. Then they parted, Rick hiding and Horatio going out to look for his guests.

oOoOo

Rick stood in the far bathroom stall, waiting for Horatio to call him in. He had been standing in there for a good 25 minutes, occasionally receiving texts like "Yelina & Ray Jr. are here" or just "Valera". He leaned against the cold tile wall of the bathroom, breathing heavily. His nerves were making him nauseous, he couldn't imagine the anxiety Horatio must be feeling.

He wanted to run out to the bar and order a Scotch, but he would be risking too much if he did. First, someone could see him. Secondly, if someone _did_ see him, they might come to the conclusion that he drinks often, which would be bad. Besides, he needed his wits about him more than he needed a drink.

Rick stepped out of the bathroom stall, but only after making sure that he was alone. He walked over to the sinks and splashed some water on his face. His anxiousness was making him break into a sweat; he needed to calm down if he wanted to see straight by the time Horatio called him out.

Raising his head, he finally got a good look at himself in the mirror. He was wearing his black suit jacket, a red shirt, and black tie with a red line running through it at a diagonal. He was unable to keep his brow from furrowing in worry. His lips were pursed shut, keeping himself from gasping for the occasional breath. He ruffled his dark brown hair as he tried to relax his face. He wanted to be as far away from the Stetler they knew in the labs; although he felt that no matter what he did, it wouldn't matter much to them.

As he was trying to figure out if he was more nervous when _he_ came out, when he auditioned for Juilliard, or right now; his phone buzzed in his pocket. He quickly ducked back into the end stall before he read it.

"Standby," it read, "I'll need you in a moment or so. This needs introduction".

oOoOo

Horatio sat at the end of the table, looking over his friends and family. They looked so happy, like they were really enjoying themselves despite being away from the glitz of the Miami nightclubs. To think that none of them knew what was about to happen… it moved Horatio. They all sat there, calmly talking and laughing amongst themselves. To think that in a few moments someone will most likely have stood up and be shouting at him and the man he wanted to spend the rest of his life with. He didn't know who, but he knew that it would happen. It was the inevitable and unavoidable moment the evening will come to.

And although his hands trembled and his heart was pounding, Horatio stood up. It was far too late to even conceive of turning back now. He cleared his throat and was immediately given the attention of the table.

"I have an announcement," he started, "well… it's really more of a confession. Although all of you seem to be enjoying yourselves, I have to admit, I have an ulterior motive to this meeting.

"You see, I have become involved in a relationship that has… completely changed my life… for the better. We plan to stay together for a very long time and… well…"

Horatio ducked his head; a blush had consumed his cheeks. There were so many things he wanted to say about Rick, but he knew that he had to limit himself. He was tongue-tied and hoping that he could remember how to talk before Rick just let himself in.

"Horatio?" Frank smiled, resting his arms on the table, "are you trying to introduce us to your girlfriend?"

"…Kinda".

"Well where is she?" Calleigh piped up, "Bring her in here. I want to meet her".

Horatio almost felt his fear start to wane as he heard the rest of the table agree with Calleigh. They all looked so hopeful. It almost… just for a moment… felt like they were willing to accept anyone.

"Okay," the redhead nodded, backing up to the archway, not wanting to take his eyes off of everyone who waited with such anticipation.

Horatio looked over and saw Rick standing right there. He looked so timid and nervous, more so than he did when he proposed. But the moment their eyes met, all their anxiety was gone. There was such comfort they found in each other that it almost didn't matter what everyone thought of them.

With a little nod, Horatio gave Rick the cue to enter.

Meekly, Rick stepped into the room, walking right up behind Horatio's chair. He watched as everyone, except for Kyle, immediately recognized him. He watched as their kind eyes turned to glares in his presence. But yet, none of them could seem to figure out why he was there.

Horatio joined Rick by his side, quickly surveying the table with a glance. They still didn't seem to understand what Rick was doing there. So, to answer their unasked questions, the two men took each other's hand.

Kyle's jaw was the first to drop. He wasn't busy trying to figure out why Stetler was in the room, like everyone else was. Then, one by one, each member of the team was hit by reality. Valera was the first to speak.

"Are you two _dating?_"

They both nodded, Horatio giving Rick's hand a quick little squeeze for comfort. Rick bit his lip, discreetly squeezing back.

Everyone exchanged glances with each other, looking for cues on how to react to this. Natalia stared at Rick, standing there holding her boss' hand. She still hadn't forgiven him for being so responsible for putting Paul behind bars. And even though she knew that she had crossed the line with that investigation and that she should be happy she wasn't relieved of duty, she still couldn't help but to be upset with Stetler for ruining her and Paul's plans to settle down together. She knew that she wouldn't be able to focus on whatever happens that evening. She was just still far too upset with him to focus on anything when he's around. So instead of fighting it, she stood up and left.

Everyone watched as Natalia walked out on them. Ryan glanced over at Horatio and Rick, wondering if he should do the same. But once he saw the hurt expression on Horatio's face, he knew that he should probably at least offer some sort of explanation.

"Horatio," he started, "May I ask why you're going out with Stetler?"

"Because I love him," Horatio answered, his voice shaking, but his eyes flashing with their blue intensity.

Ryan chuckled for a moment before smirking and continuing, "No. Really".

"I don't need any more reasons, Mr. Wolfe," Horatio growled.

"Yes you do, H. When you tell me that you are going steady with the one man who has been constantly and relentlessly attacking our lab, I want a real explanation. When you come out and say that you are dating with someone who has personally persecuted my friends and myself; I think I deserve the right to hear the real reasons why. If you have to date anyone in IAB, why Stetler?"

"He's more than his job".

"Not to me he's not".

Ryan stood up and walked over to Horatio, leaning in and whispering in a voice so low that only the two of them could hear, "I didn't want to ask it in front of your son, but I will now. How do you fuck a man who already has a pole shoved so far up his ass?"

Rick watched as a blush crept up the back of his lover's neck. His azure eyes turned cold with anger. Part of Rick wanted to hear what Ryan said so he could know how to comfort Horatio; but most of him felt that it was better he just didn't know.

They listened to Ryan walk out. Horatio and Rick's hands stayed connected; neither of them wanting to break the comfort of the other's touch.

The redhead turned his attention back to the table, filled with accusing eyes. He breathed deeply, knowing that this just the beginning of something long, trying, and painful.


	10. Da Victorio pt 2

**Chapter Ten: Da Victorio Part Two**

Yelina looked up at her brother-in-law, holding the hand of her ex-boyfriend. She remembered clearly when Rick had told her he was gay, but she had never before even considered it coming to this. She had told him exactly what she thought of his homosexuality, but she never thought that she would need to give the same speech to Horatio.

"Horatio?" she started, "I thought you were better than that".

Horatio and Rick exchanged a glance, before letting her continue.

"The Lord, our humble creator, knows that this unfruitful relationship is an abomination. For you to indulge in sins of the flesh without care of the possible ramifications… It's very unlike you, Horatio".

"Mom, just stop," Ray mumbled, dropping his face into his hands.

"Ray, when your father died and you disappeared I had nothing… _nothing_ but my faith to keep me going. My faith in the one God, who has saved me from temptation, has helped me through the darkest moments in my life. I have taken it as my responsibility to preach his word and he has said that such homosexual offenses are wicked and that those who practice it shall not inherit the kingdom of God".

"Yelina," Rick said softly. Everyone turned to him, hearing him speak for the first time that evening, "I know you don't think highly of me… no one here does. But if you're going to sit there spewing nonsense at us, you can't expect me so stand here quietly as you call Horatio 'wicked'. You know that's not true. I know you know that's not true".

"'Nonsense'?" She stood up and glared at Rick, "How could anyone be so godless? I bet you made Horatio this way".

"He didn't," Horatio said sternly, "I've always been this way".

The three of them stared each other down until Yelina finally spoke.

"C'mon Ray. Let's go home".

"No".

She glared down at her son, "Don't fight with me. I have no patience for this. Let's go".

"You can't just expect me to leave Kyle like this after what you just said about his father!"

"Don't pull that with me. We're going home".

"I'm not a little kid anymore, I can do as I see fit and right".

"You may be an adult in the eyes of the law, but you are still _my_ son and you are living under _my _roof. You know, not everyone is under his parent's support at the age of 19. I don't know why you are so ungrateful".

"Don't change the subject. You can go home if you want, but I won't".

Kyle looked away. As much as he knew he could put a stop to this argument, and as much as he hated seeing his aunt and cousin fight… he didn't want to interject. He had just found out that his dad was gay; he was trying to piece things together. He was already confused, he really didn't want to be alone. Ever since they met, Ray had always been so understanding and such a good friend; he was one of the few people Kyle could ever bring himself to trust.

"Fine," Yelina finally smirked, just ready to get out of there, "You're an 'adult'. You can find your own way home".

Ray watched as his mother walked out. Everyone else averted their eyes, trying not to pay attention as mother and son argued in front of them. Kyle looked up at his cousin, still sitting next to him despite what Yelina wanted.

"You didn't have to do that," he whispered to his dark eyed cousin.

"Yes I did," Ray sighed, hoping that the rest of the guests could move on from what just happened.

There was a pause. And for a fleeting moment, Rick dared to believe that nobody would have any more objections. He thought that things would turn around and start getting better now that the two seemingly major issues were out of the way. He thought that perhaps he could be accepted by the team. But that was until Eric broke the silence.

"You're gay?"

Horatio turned his attention to Delko, noticing that the question was directed at him.

"I'm bi".

"And you're going out with Stetler?"

"Yes, Rick and I have been dating for a while now".

"So didn't Marisol mean anything to you?"

The Cuban's brown eyes turned black in anger. Horatio bit at his lip, he knew that sooner or later someone was going to bring this up. But he never really thought through how to answer the question.

"Of course she did," the redhead sighed, his eyes pleading for understanding, "I loved her".

"No you didn't".

Horatio was taken aback. Eric knew how much Marisol meant to him. Eric went to Rio with him and the both were almost killed casting judgment on her murderer. If anyone knew how deeply and to what extent Horatio loved Marisol, it was Eric. But now… Horatio didn't know what to think. The words bit at a piece of his heart that he thought was finally able to heal, only to learn that it could still bleed.

"Because if you did," Eric continued after realizing that Horatio wasn't about to respond to that, "you wouldn't have replaced her with Stetler".

"Nobody has been 'replaced', Eric".

"You're insulting her memory by filling her place with slime like him!"

"Don't you dare talk about Rick like tha-"

Rick held up his hand, stopping Horatio from defending him. After all the years he spent digging into the lab, he knew what they all thought of him. At this time it was more important for Horatio to protect himself.

"What was she to you that he can't replace?" Eric growled, "The voice to say it loves you, the lips to press against you, the hand to hold, the body in bed next to you! It's all the same to you isn't it?"

Kyle cringed at the mention of his father's sex life. If there was anything he didn't need this meeting for it was to discuss that. Given, he didn't grow up with Horatio as a father figure, but it was still an unpleasant thought. He was sure it was just a slip, but if it happened again he would leave.

"I don't know what to do to convince you otherwise," Horatio said softly, pretty positive that Eric wasn't about to change his opinions… at least for the night.

"This," Eric said pointing at the two of them, "is just wrong".

Horatio glared at the man who used to be his brother in law. He didn't want to believe that this was Marisol's blood talking to him. He didn't want to believe that they would have anything close to the same opinion about this. She loved him, Horatio knew that. She would just want him to be happy. And Eric's ignorance of that basic fact angered Horatio more than he ever thought it could.

"Well you can't just expect me to stay alone and celibate for the rest of my life, can you?" He snapped suddenly, raising his voice for the first time.

With that, Kyle got up, ready to leave. And as much as Ray didn't want to give up the fight so early, he knew that he had to stay with his cousin.

"We'll talk later," Kyle said as he nodded goodbye to his father.

The table watched as the two teenagers walked out on the argument. Ray turned as they walked out the archway, giving both Horatio and Rick a sad and apologetic look.

"And now you're chased off your own son," Eric snarled, "Horatio, I don't know what's happened to you, but I know at Stetler's responsible. And you know what, you may not have realized that you've changed… but I want the old Horatio back".

Eric made the move to leave, but Calleigh grabbed onto his sleeve and pulled him back into his chair.

"Wait," she said softly, "let's not be too rash".

The redhead breathed a sigh of relief. Calleigh had stayed quiet for so long, something that he knew she wouldn't have done if she wasn't thinking very hard about the situation. Now was the time he knew that she would defend him for the rest of the table.

"I have a few questions".

Horatio bit at his lip. This wasn't starting out the way he thought it would. But he was still pretty sure that she would fight for him… maybe.

"Go ahead".

"First of all, when did you two start dating".

"About a year ago".

Everyone at the table exchanged glances. Frank gave Horatio a confused look.

"A _year_?"

"Approximately, yes".

"So what you're saying," Calleigh said slowly, "is that this has been going on for a year… and you're just telling us _now_?"

Rick gave Horatio's hand a squeeze for comfort as he felt the redhead's uneasiness grow more untamable. Horatio nodded his response to Calleigh's question.

"Why now?"

"I…" he stammered, "I just thought it was about time".

"Damn right it's about time!" Frank snapped. "I thought we were friends, why were you keeping this from us for so long?"

Horatio's strength started to waver and his breaths became short. He wanted to break down. He wanted to cry. But he knew that he had to see it though. It couldn't be long to go now.

"I didn't know how to tell you".

"Why?" Calleigh asked, the offence she took evident in her voice. "Don't you trust us?"

"I told you when my wife thought I was cheating," Frank added. "I trusted you. Why can't you offer me the same in return?"

Horatio was breathless as he whispered, "You don't know what it's like".

"No," Calleigh sighed, "No, Horatio, I guess we don't".

She, Eric, and Frank stood up and Horatio watched in horror as they left. He couldn't find the voice to cry "No!" to them as they walked past him. He thought that they were better than that. He thought that of all people they would understand. And in a brief moment of fear and panic, they were gone. And although he felt numb, Horatio raised his eyes to look at Valera. She was the only one left at the once full table.

The two men watched as she slowly stood, expecting her to leave as well, in her own silent way.

She reached down, picking up her wine glass and raised it high.

"To the happy couple!"

With that, she downed her drink and plopped back into her chair.

Rick and Horatio exchanged a look before they left the head of the table to join her near the wall.


	11. Da Victorio pt 3

_Author's Note: This story, along with the first "Some With Arrows, Some With Traps" and "To Sleep" have all been nominated for the CSI Fanfic Awards. Information and links on my profile page. Voting for this year ends on October 4th._

_Another Note: I'm going on a 1-2 week hiatus. Just need some time to breathe again.  
_

* * *

**Chapter Eleven: Da Victorio Part Three**

Rick, Horatio, and Valera sat alone in the room. Although they hardly needed the space, the men both still needed their privacy. Valera had been bouncing questions off of them all evening, mostly about how they met and how they've been keeping it a secret for so long. They both tried to answer as thoroughly as they could. They told their story, although they omitted Mac and his involvement during their first crucial weeks together. The proposal wasn't brought up either.

Horatio stayed quiet, not doing much aside from listening and eating his dinner. He really wanted to make sure that Rick and Valera could get along. He got the feeling that she would be their only ally for a while. Well… perhaps Ray Jr. too… but he didn't seem to be able to stand on his own.

"You two always manage to put on quite a performance," she smiled, loving how close the two of them sat together. "I would have never guessed that you have been going steady behind our backs".

"Well it sounds so scandalous when you put it like that," Rick smirked.

"It _is_ scandalous!" she corrected, "Incredibly scandalous. To think, the head of our department and a prominent figure in IAB… wouldn't there be an investigation?"

"Only if we give IAB any cause for alarm. They know that I'm just as strict with your team as I was before this, if not stricter. Obviously, my eyes aren't the only ones on the lab anymore. I've been training an up and coming with your cases, handing them off to him. I try to focus on the night shift".

"You've been careful".

"I try," Rick shrugged, "I can't have Horatio getting transferred. I don't care what they'd do to me. I'd just quit. But this city needs H… much more than they need an IAB sergeant like me".

Horatio looked up at Rick. He had never said anything like that before. Sure, Rick had mentioned protecting him from being transferred; but he hadn't mentioned ever leaving IAB for him. Although Horatio knew that Rick hated how much everyone looked down on him for his job, he never thought of him actually considering leaving the force. But then… that would still be an option available only as a last resort.

"You'd leave your job? You must really love him".

"I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not, Valera".

"Neither can I".

Horatio smiled to himself. Rick and Valera were getting along fine. He should be happy that Valera didn't walk out on them like everyone else did, but he couldn't help but to wonder why. He had already gone the full meal without asking, and wasn't able to take it any longer.

"Valera," he started softly, "You didn't leave with the others".

She smiled and shrugged, but gave no answer.

"Why?"

"I didn't see any reason to. I didn't know Rick, I wouldn't have any grounding to be upset with him. I have absolutely no objections to homosexuality or bisexuality or anything like that. I didn't know Marisol. And I know how hard it is to come out… kinda… I helped my cousin come out to his parents last year".

There was a pause as the two men thought about what she had done for them. The night would have been very different if she had left with Calleigh, Eric, and Frank.

"Thank you," Rick said softly.

"For being civilized about this? No problem," she smirked, "Besides, the two of you seem to be really happy together".

"We are," Horatio smiled, taking Rick's hand in his. He gave his lover a quick little peck on the cheek before standing up, "and in celebration of me coming out, I would like to buy you guys dessert. What do you want from the display case in the front?"

"Something chocolate".

"You know what I like," Rick grinned.

Horatio gave them one last look before he stepped out to buy them the last of their meal. Valera chuckled and turned her attention back to Rick, who was currently digging around in his pockets for something.

"You two really are a cute couple".

"Thanks".

He pulled the velvet ring box from his pocket, bringing it onto the table. He felt that he could trust Valera, trust her enough to know that he had proposed and Horatio turned him down. H had said that he would accept the ring after he had told his family and friends about them. Well, now they knew. And although the evening with Valera has been productive, Rick wasn't sure if it was enough. Horatio had said that he just wanted to inform them, that he wasn't looking for their approval or even their acceptance. Rick felt a little selfish, but he hoped that his love would just forget about their disapproval so that they could move on with their life together.

"Are you proposing?" She gasped, the smile quite visible in her eyes.

Rick nodded, realizing that he had spent about a full minute opening and closing the box. He wasn't sure if he kept looking at the ring for comfort or to make sure if it was still there. Maybe a little of both.

"Again," he added.

"'Again'?"

"He turned me down a few days ago," Rick sighed, somewhat comforted by the empathetic look in Valera's eyes, "he said that he didn't think it was right for him to accept while y'all were kept in the dark. You mean so much to him".

"'y'all'," she echoed with a smile before leaning forward. "Can I see it?"

"Sure".

Rick nudged the red velvet box over to her, unable to suppress a smile as she slowly opened the lid. It almost looked like she was afraid of it, that it would turn to ash if she looked at it the wrong way. But there it was; the polished gold and diamond still shining as brightly as they did when Rick bought it and when Horatio saw it in the infinity chamber.

"It's beautiful," she gasped, "can I touch it?"

Rick nodded, quickly checking for Horatio as she gently lifted it out of its black silk lining. She turned the perfectly molded gold and brilliantly cut diamond about in her fingers. She held it up to the light, tilting it just enough so that she could read the word "infinity" engraved inside.

"You think he'd like it?" Rick asked, smiling as her eyes glistened in wonder.

She gave him her '_well duh'_ look before a moment of seriousness and a definite nod. Hearing footsteps, she quickly set the golden band in its case and shoved the box back at Rick. He managed to pocket it before Horatio came back, with three dishes of desserts.

Horatio looked between the two of them, each trying and failing to look innocent. He cocked an eyebrow as he handed Valera her chocolate cheesecake.

"What'd you do?"

"Nothing," they replied in unison, smiling big fake grins.

The redhead rolled his eyes and sat down next to his lover, placing a piece of strawberry shortcake in front of him as he did so.

Valera looked at Rick; he seemed so scared and unsure of himself. A world different from the man she thought he was. It wasn't a bad thing as much as it was just humanizing.

She checked her watch.

There wouldn't be much time to sit around. This was a restaurant, not a club, and wasn't at all expected to stay open to the early hours of the morning. She wished that she could watch Rick propose, but knew that he would need his privacy to do so. Politely, she excused herself to the washroom.

Horatio waited until she had rounded the corner before he said, "Okay, what were you two talking about?"

"Well… you see," Rick dug into his pocket again, "a few days ago you said that you wanted to come out to your team. You weren't looking for their approval, you just wanted them to know a few things about you. Just a few basic things before you could accept my proposal". He took the box out and opened it, "I brought it today just to see if you would still… you know… want to spend a very long time with me. Once you stepped out I couldn't hold myself back any longer, I had to look at it again. Then Valera asked what I was doing, so I told her, and she took a look at it and said it was pretty and then you came back in".

A pitifully romantic smile had crossed Horatio's lips, his eyes locked on the glistening object Rick's hands fumbled with. Although this was hardly the infinity chamber, everything suddenly seemed so perfect and beautiful to him.

Rick shrugged, "and… erm… that's what we were talking about. Which leads me to ask if… if you would… accept me".

He was about to go into another speech about how much Horatio means to him, but Horatio had covered his mouth with his own before he was able to get a single word of it out. Rick fumbled with the ring, grasping for it and quickly finding his lover's left hand.

Finally breathless, Horatio looked down to see the ring his lover had slipped onto his finger. He pulled Rick in for another kiss, keeping chaste for the time being.

"I'm still terribly sorry," Horatio whispered, resting their foreheads together, "I don't think I could ever forgive myself for doing that to you".

"Just tell me that it'll be okay".

"It will," the redhead sighed as he pressed his lips against Rick's neck, "I promise. I love you, and of course I want to be with you forever".

Rick smiled and was about to respond when Valera came back in. The two men broke away slightly, not wanting to make too public their displays of affection. They watched as her eyes wandered down to Horatio's hand.

"Congratulations," she said softly as she beamed up at Rick.

The three of them ate the rest of their meal in the silence of thought. Then they paid the bill, bid farewell, and left.

RS

Horatio led Rick into his seaside home. The sky was dark and there was a soft breeze that lightly bent the fronds of the palm trees across the street. The only sound was the gentle rolling of the waves against the shore. Rick smiled to himself, looking up at the sky and running his fingers through his soft brown hair. It was such a peaceful night. They were far away from the lights and the sounds of the city; it was just the two of them and the quiet blueness that swallowed the ocean.

"Rick," Horatio called softly.

A little embarrassed by his wandering mind, the brown eyed man quickly ran to his lover's side. Horatio smiled gently as he let the glass storm door swing shut behind them as they stepped into his home. He switched on a few of the lights; the white walls, carpet, and furniture shining in the glow. Rick smiled at the sight, it just felt so welcoming.

"You like it here, don't you?" Horatio smiled, leaning against the wall and watching Rick start to make himself at home.

The brunette nodded in response, "I've always liked it here".

"You know," the blue eyed man sighed, "given the current circumstances… I think that… well… if you want to… perhaps you could… move in with me?"

Rick wasn't able to keep Horatio in suspense as a smile spread across his face almost instantly. He had his West Miami home for about fifteen years, but felt no real attachment to it. That and Horatio always told him how alone he felt in this house, which was a decent size.

He chuckled as Horatio pulled him into a tight embrace. At the rate that things were going politically, moving in together may be the closest they could ever get to officially tying the knot.

"Maybe someday," Rick whispered as Horatio lead him into the bedroom, "Florida would let us be together".


	12. Courage

**Chapter Twelve: Courage**

The waves and the seagulls were the only sounds that could be heard that brisk Miami morning. Horatio and Rick were tangled on the bed with the sheets, lying in each other's arms. The sunlight was a soft and golden glow that swallowed their bedroom.

Rick stroked the silky strands of his fiancé's copper red hair. The brunette had been up for about an hour already, content to just cuddle the morning away.

_Oh God,_ he thought, his eyes shining, _how did I get so lucky? Look at him. He's so perfect._

"I love you," he whispered, Horatio unconsciously cuddling up against him.

_He's so sweet. And I can wake up every morning like this from now on. Of course I need to do the legal change of address and file the right insurance forms that would make him my benefactor for my life insurance. But that is so minor, given how much work it is. I won't worry about it until I have officially moved in. But no matter what legal hurdles they give us, I'll make sure that everything turns out just as we need it to. _

_Aren't you forgetting something?_ A voice within him whispered, _something important?_

Rick paused with the caresses he was giving his lover's arm for just a moment to listen to the voice. It wasn't accusatory or anything of that nature. Its tone was more logical, something that often spoke to him when he was working too fast.

_What do you mean?_ he asked his rational self.

_Well… Horatio delayed his acceptance until he came out to his family and the team; right?_

_Yeah._

_So they obviously mean a lot to him; right?_

…_yeah…_

_May I ask you… in all honesty… what do you think they think of him now? You heard their arguments. You know what they think of you. They must see him as pretty low for starting up a relationship with you, especially as secretly and suddenly as he did._

_I…_ Rick bit his lip_, I'm sure they don't think that badly of him._

_You saw the way that they looked at him. I'm not saying that they hate him, but he obviously lost some respect last night._

_What are you saying?_

_I'm saying that this whole situation was just kind of thrust upon everyone from the start. You're the only one who really is in the position to put things back to normal._

_You mean "set things right"?_

_I wouldn't say that. In their perspective, they may think it better if things were back to the way they were. But you… you're happy. You're truly happy. You shouldn't give away that kind of happiness._

_But is Horatio happy?_

_That's the problem. I'm really not sure. He may really want this, or he may be doing what he believes to be the right thing. I wish I knew._

Rick paused to listen to the waves roll up onto the beach. He watched the wind make the sheer white curtains billow into the room. He didn't feel cornered, but he felt he had to make a definite decision about their situation. If they weren't honest with each other, this could become a problem beyond what he could even comprehend.

_What do I do?_ He asked himself, afraid he already knew the answer.

_As much as I hesitate to say it… I think that you should give him a chance to back out of this._

_But… but things were going so well._

_Yeah, they were. Until he told the team. You do realize what you're asking him to do for you: to leave his remaining family and almost all his friends to live a life with you. His sister-in-law isn't nearly as accepting as your brother-in-law was. And his close friends, unlike Molly and Victoria, really just want this to fail. You don't know what he's going through Rick. Maybe he just needs a bit more time. I know this year has been packed for you two… but maybe it's still a little too soon._

Rick looked down into his arms. He still looked so sweet and so innocent. It was like what they did once they stepped into the bedroom last night was already a distant memory, a separate part of their relationship. And it was, it always was. They had been honest with each other from the start, no matter how hard it has been.

_I guess_, Rick sighed as he continued looking over his lover's features, _I guess that it would be the only responsible thing for me to do._

_Now you know,_ the voice gently whispered, _I'm sorry. I know this could never be easy. This may all be over nothing but… we have to grant him the benefit of the doubt. _

As soon as those words were thought, Horatio stirred in Rick's arms, the ever brightening room bringing him to consciousness. The redhead let out a soft little moan before he rubbed his eyes and turned towards Rick.

The younger man was unable to hold back a smile as Horatio gently kissed him on the chest. They cuddled, gently cradling and lightly rocking each other. It was how they woke up after spending the night together, and how they planned on waking up every morning for the rest of their lives. Horatio purred into Rick's neck before he broke the silence.

"Rick?"

"Hmm?"

"I was considering something, but I want to run it by you first".

"Shoot".

"I've been toying with the notion of changing my name".

"Don't do it. I like 'Horatio'".

For this, Rick received a playful little swat to the side of his head. "I'm sorry for beating you," Horatio quickly apologized, making Rick smile, "but I meant my last name".

Rick raised his eyebrows, sitting up and stretching before he responded. "To what?"

Horatio looked at him, finding it completely absurd that he would even ask such a simple question. He sat up, looking into Rick's gentle brown eyes. "To Stetler".

The brunette was taken aback by this display of affection, and it showed in his expression. This was more than he could have ever asked Horatio to do for him… he didn't even consider it. Rick closed his eyes and tilted his head up towards the ceiling, "'Horatio Stetler'," he murmured to himself, "'Horatio Stetler'. 'Horatio Stetler'. 'Horatio Stetler'… no. don't do it".

"Why not?" Horatio asked, a little disappointed.

"First of all, it sounds too much like 'JohnAndYoko'," Rick noted with a smirk, "Second, the world knows and trusts Lieutenant Horatio _Caine_. Don't go changing your name on them, they'll just get confused and angry".

"But I don't want to be a Caine!" he blurted out.

Horatio looked away, a little embarrassed by his outburst. Rick stared at a few moments. For all the time they had been together, Horatio had never made any mention of this. Gently, Rick took the redhead's chin in his hand, lightly coaxing Horatio to look into his eyes again.

"Rick…" the older man whispered, "Every time I look at my name I realize that I am still my father's son. And it doesn't matter how much I try to drive him from my memory, he's still there".

Rick's eyes saddened. Horatio has seldom talked about his past, and Rick could understand why. But he didn't know how badly it tormented Horatio still.

"I…I-I-I don't want him to be part of me. When he died… well… when I… I… I just want him to be gone".

Tears were filling his sweet blue eyes. And without a word, Rick pulled him into his arms. He pressed his lips against the other man's neck, finding comfort there.

"It's Ray's name too," he continued, "and… I love him, but… there were so many lives that he just forgot about. Yelina, Mom, his own son … me. He was careless- no. That's not the word. He was selfish. He put himself and his addiction before anyone else. It's just… I don't know.

"As much as I tried to protect him, he was beaten too. I know he was. I saw the bruises when I got home from school. And with everything that's happened… I thought that he would have remembered. He knew how much an addiction could ruin a family… I wish… I wish he would have taken that second chance".

He sighed softly as Rick cuddled him. He blinked and a tear fell. Rick always held him whenever memories began to pull at him. It was something his mother used to do to.

_He could remember one moment, close to the end, when she wandered into his and Ray's bedroom in the middle of the night. None of them could sleep, afraid of what would happen when Aidin got back from another binge._

_Horatio had always tried to stay strong for his mother and brother, but that day had been particularly trying. He hadn't gotten much sleep and all the tension was getting to him. Finally, he burst into tears; the stress so overwhelming that he could hardly speak._

_It was then that she sat down next to him and cradled him close, just like she used to when he was very young and Ray was just a baby. He wept, weak in his mother's arms and embarrassed to be crying._

"_It's okay to cry, angel," she whispered to him, "I'll still love you"._

"It's okay," Horatio heard Rick coo softly, "I'm here".

Rick pulled his lover into a tighter embrace, tight enough to feel his heart beat. He didn't know what was going on in Horatio's head, but whatever memory was brought to surface was terrifying him. Lovingly, he ran a hand down the smooth and pale skin of the redhead's back, kissing his hair.

Rick tangled his fingers in copper hair before he said, "I love you, Horatio. I'll love you no matter what your name is".

Salty tears fell from those sad blue eyes. Their owner knew that his name wasn't an issue, not really. He just needed to find some way to lighten the weight he had been carrying his entire life. Every time he is able to let just a little bit of his past out, he feels lighter. It's just that it is too painful to fully let go. Even this little hint made his heart break again.

"You're safe," Rick cooed, "I'm here. And I love you. I've always loved you".

"I love you too, Rick".

Horatio looked down at his hand, clutching onto Rick's strong shoulders. It was his left, and wrapped around his finger was that beautiful golden band. It was a reminder of the love that Rick had proclaimed to him Friday night… and the afternoon in the infinity chamber… and the first evening they spent together.

Although Rick was often pretty fragile, he could be a strong and comforting figure when he needed to be. Unlike so many, who have just tried to make him stop, Rick let Horatio cry. And on the nights when he for whatever reason couldn't stop thinking about all of those who have been taken from him, Rick was always there.

Slowly sitting back up on his own strength, Horatio looked deep into Rick's loving brown eyes. In them he saw something he hadn't seen in a long time. There was the sadness, yes; but this was something else. Something was picking at his brain, distracting him.

"What's wrong?"

Rick shook his head, "nothing".

"No," Horatio wasn't about to give up that easily, "there's definitely something. What is it?"

"This isn't the time".

"I just told you what was on my mind, Rick. Now you tell me what's on yours".

Knowing that there was absolutely no use in trying to argue with Horatio, Rick took a deep breath before he continued.

"I know I'm asking a lot from you," he sighed, taking Horatio's left hand in his, "And that you've been through a lot. I know that neither your family nor your friends at all approve of this. They all mean a lot to you… anyone could see that. And I…" Rick's breath shook before he could continue, "I don't want you to feel you have to give them all up for me".

Horatio stared at him blankly. What was he suggesting?

"So," Rick continued, "I guess it would be only fair for me to offer you a chance to… well… knowing what they all think of me… and guessing what they must think of you… I think it would be responsible for me to… to…" he took a deep breath before quietly saying, "to give you the chance to back out of this".

He didn't know what to say. Of course his family and the team didn't take the news at all well… but most of them should get over it. It wasn't like he lost them…well… all of them. He wasn't sure if he'd hear from Yelina for a few weeks. But he had pretty strong faith in them.

"Rick," he whispered, ducking his head, "you don't… do _you_ want to call this off?"

Rick bit his tongue to keep from saying "I could never want that! You mean the world to me". Instead he cupped Horatio's face in his hand, stroking him as he softly said, "always putting others before yourself… what do you want?"

"I…" Horatio hoped that Rick didn't want to break the engagement, "I want to be with you".

Rick smiled and gently kissed his lover on the cheek.

"And I want to spend the rest of my life by your side," he whispered into his lover's soft red hair.

He backed up, his hand running over soft and creamy skin. Horatio looked unnerved by the question Rick had asked. "I'm sorry for scaring you like that," Rick sighed, "I just wanted to make sure that you're happy with this life".

"Of course I'm happy," the redhead smiled, "I'm with you, and nothing could ever make me feel differently about that. Nothing".

oOoOo

The next day, Horatio pulled his black Mercedes Benz convertible into the parking garage. He stepped out, fully rested and ready for whatever crimes the city could throw at him. He spotted a young officer walk by, nodding and smiling at her politely. She acknowledged him, but quickly turned her face away as she picked up the pace and rushed into MD-PD.

Horatio bit at his lip, wondering if his coming out had already gotten around the police department. But soon, he realized what she was really reacting to.

His eyes widened, and jaw went slack when he saw what had happened. He wasn't quite sure how to respond to what he was seeing.

There, written on the side of his Hummer in red spray painted letters was the word "FAGGOT".


	13. Reality

**Chapter Thirteen: Reality**

Horatio could do little more than just stand there and stare at the word. And it stared back at him. It judged him, his life, Rick... everything that mattered. And even worse, it convicted him. Looking into the letters, still fresh on the vehicle, he knew that this was something he would have to suffer alone. His team wasn't going to be there for him on this one, were they? And he could only ask Rick to hold his hand for so long.

_Who did this?_

He looked up at the ceiling, scanning for security cameras. One of them had to have caught who did this. Unless more of the department than he had previously thought was against him. In which case, the tape would have been "lost".

He turned his face away from the scene, shaking his head to chase such thoughts out of his mind.

_I'm getting worse than Rick,_ he thought, _they wouldn't do that. Just two days ago I had their complete respect. Things couldn't change that much overnight... could they?_

He honestly wasn't sure anymore. And as much as he wanted to just get upstairs to the labs, he found himself unable to move. The word seemed to completely immobilize him, ever pulling at the wound his own friends had ripped in his heart.

_Maybe it was one of them._

Them: the team… his team… the people he used to be able to trust. As much as he hated the idea, he had to see it as a possibility. And as he reluctantly began running the suspects through his head, he quickly came down to two. It had to be either Natalia or Eric. Ryan would have considered it, but not follow through. Yelina would be more subtle. His sexuality wasn't a problem for Calleigh or Frank. Kyle had other ways of dealing with frustration, and Ray seemed like he was defending them. There will have to be an internal investigation.

Perhaps he should skip over the lab and go straight up to IAB and find a new investigator. He just hoped that the rest of them were as _thorough_ as Rick was.

_Rick…_

He looked down at the gold ring on his left hand. For a moment, he thought that it would be best if he took it off and hid it in his wallet. He quickly decided against that. Somebody, he didn't know who, but somebody had decided to make a game out of his love. Very well… let them think what they want. But this was _his_ life, and if it was going to become a game, he wasn't about to lose to the bigot who started it. He wasn't about to hide the love he felt for Rick. That will never change.

He looked back up at the word.

_Who did this?_

oOoOo

He was still standing there and staring the side of his hummer when Calleigh pulled into the garage and walked up next to him. The vandalism was sobering, her bright eyes saddening as she read it. She had to read it a few times; not wanting to believe that she was reading it correctly. But no matter how many times she checked, it was still there; the cold cruelty of it intensifying with every passing moment.

She placed a hand on his shoulder, her brow furrowing in worry when he didn't react. "Are you going to be alright?"

He opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. At this point the word was boring so deeply into his brain that he could hardly think.

"C'mon," she coaxed tugging on his sleeve, "Let's get you up to IAB to give your statement. I'll process the scene".

"No," he whispered, "I'll have nightshift do it".

She bit her lip. That could only mean that he believed one of them did it. She wished she could say something that could convince him otherwise, but he was probably right.

"Let's go, Handsome," she said sweetly

Horatio couldn't help but to smile at the old nickname that resurfaced. Quietly, she led him away from the scene and into MD-PD.

oOoOo

Horatio and Calleigh entered the elevator, the redhead pressing the button for the second floor.

"Don't you want to go up to IAB?"

Horatio shook his head, "IAB can wait. Right now I need to go to my office and call Jake Berkeley so he can get his team to process the scene. That and I would like to clear my head before I get up there".

Calleigh looked quietly up at her boss and mentor. For the first time in as long as she could remember, she was at a loss for words. Part of her wanted to apologize for walking out on him and Rick Friday evening; but another part of her wasn't at all sorry, she meant every word she said. She was torn between what she has always thought of Rick, and what she probably should now that he was so close to Horatio. What should she think of Horatio now that he was so close to Rick? The whole predicament caught her so much by surprise, that she wasn't sure about anything anymore.

Horatio reached up and ran his fingers through his hair, needing to calm down. As he did, Calleigh saw the glint of gold on his left hand. Was he engaged? When did that happen?

Ding. Second Floor: CSI.

Horatio quietly stepped out and headed towards his office, trying to organize his thoughts. Calleigh timidly followed him out, standing in the commons. She sighed, this situation required coffee.

oOoOo

"Did you hear what happened to H's Hummer?"

Calleigh looked up from her coffee at Ryan, who had just walked into the break room. He pulled an energy drink out of the refrigerator and sat down across from her.

"I saw it," she nodded, still trying to wrap her head around everything that had happened Friday night.

"I'm surprised that dispatch didn't call us to go through the scene".

"H is calling in nightshift to do that".

Ryan looked up at her. He thought he knew what that meant, but he wasn't quite sure.

"He thinks one of us did it?"

"And after Friday, I really can't blame him".

"He dropped the bomb on us that not only is he gay, but he's dating Stetler," Ryan said with a slight nervous laugh, "I mean, how well did he expect it to go?"

She shrugged, he did have a point. But was that really an excuse for them to treat him the way they did? It wasn't like they could suddenly become perfectly benevolent, especially when it came to Stetler. But there was definitely a better way of handling it.

"What happened after I left?" he asked.

"Yelina said that they were godless, then she left. Then Eric said that he was insulting Marisol's memory. Kyle and Ray Jr. left, Eric wanted to, but I had him stay a little longer. I asked how long they had been seeing each other, he said 'about a year'. And that was all I cared to listen to.

"Everything we do here is based somewhat on trust. If he couldn't trust us enough to tell us earlier… there must be something terribly wrong with our relationships with him. That's just… just…"

She stopped. Why was she trying to defend herself when Ryan left before she did? Was she wrong? Why was her heart telling her she was? Why did her mind keep saying _"That's no excuse, Calleigh. He trusted you"_?

"'A year'?" Ryan echoed, "And he just told us then?"

He looked down into his drink. His mind was telling him the same thing that Calleigh's was telling her. And as much as Ryan wanted to push it away, he knew that it was right.

"Maybe Stetler's not so bad," she sighed, hoping to sort everything out.

"Stetler? I don't know about that".

"Maybe H is right about this… when has he ever been wrong about this sort of thing?"

"There's a first time for everything," Ryan shrugged, "Besides, there has to be a reason why Stetler wasn't trusted for so long".

They were quiet for a while before Calleigh spoke again.

"Remember about a year ago when they had to share a cabin up in the mountains during the retreat?" Ryan nodded, "Something must have happened then".

"But H wouldn't just hook up with someone for no reason, would he? Especially Stetler".

'_Especially Stetler'_, Ryan's mind whispered to him, _why do you keep telling yourself that? It's not going to change what you whispered to Horatio. It doesn't matter what kind of person Stetler is, you really hurt H when you said that. You better hope that he is more forgiving than you are._

Calleigh sighed, "Perhaps he saw a side of Stetler that can't be seen around the labs. Maybe, for whatever reason, they were capable of admiring each other that night. Maybe it wasn't in a physical sense, but definitely on some sort of psychological level".

She fell quiet as she saw Eric step off the elevator and come their way. It took her several hours to calm him down after what had happened in the restaurant. It wouldn't surprise her if he was taking it harder than anyone else who was there.

He joined them in the break room, "Did you see what happened to Horatio's car?"

They both nodded, it was obvious that it was all anyone could talk about.

"God," Eric grumbled, leaning against the wall, "can you believe that he just dropped that on us two nights ago?"

"He wanted to trust us," Calleigh whispered under her breath.

"Stetler," Eric continued as he started to pace around the kitchen, "Stetler of all people. And he expects us to just be accepting to all that? I don't care what's 'right', Stetler is a heartless and cold bastard who isn't worth all the work Horatio's putting into him.

"But I don't pity H. I thought that what he had with Marisol was special, but… he's gay? Well… bi. But what's the difference; he's been lying to us. Him and his boyfriend, Stetler, are-".

"-I think they're more than just dating," Calleigh interrupted.

"What do you mean?"

"Horatio has a gold ring on his left hand".

This earned her a confused look from both Eric and Ryan. They didn't see Horatio that day. And of course they didn't hear from him the day before. Eric felt his stomach knot. The last time he saw his boss with a gold ring was for the short time he was married to Marisol. It wasn't fair. Why did Horatio get to feel whole again while he still felt so tormented?

"I think they're engaged," she finally said.

"'Engaged'?" Eric scoffed, then he laughed forcefully, "'Engaged'?"

Ryan and Calleigh exchanged a nervous glance as Eric laughed again.

"That's great," he pressed on, "And… tell me… exactly what planet do they plan to marry on?"

"That's not funny, Eric," Ryan said sternly.

"No! It's hilarious!"

He laughed harder. Ryan wanted to give Eric a piece of mind, but all he could do was shake his head as he finished his drink and went off to trace.

Calleigh's green eyes flashed as she stood up and grabbed Eric by the arm, "What's gotten into you?"

"Geez, Cal. Lighten up".

"No. You're just being cruel now," she said coldly, staring him down, "Horatio loved Marisol, you know that. But she's gone now, and he needs someone to comfort him. Yeah, it's a little strange that that person is Stetler. But, I don't know him personally. He might not be as bad as we have been led to believe".

"But-"

"-He just doesn't want to be alone. And the sooner you realize how similar you two are in that respect, the sooner you'll start accepting reality".

"'Reality'? It's Horatio who isn't accepting reality".

She said nothing. All she could do was shake her head as she backed away from him. He wasn't about to understand this, but hopefully he will soon.

"You left too," he called after Calleigh, "in case you don't remember".

"I know," she nodded, "and I wish I didn't".

She left Eric standing there in the break room. Alone; which was all he had feared from the beginning.


	14. IAB

**Chapter Fourteen: IAB**

Horatio heaved a heavy sigh before he pressed the elevator button for the third floor.

_Why did that happen? _He shook his head, his mind still fixated on the word sprayed onto his Hummer. _I hate to suspect my own team, but they haven't left me with much of a choice. I want to talk to them again, but I know I can't until this investigation is done. _

_Now… I have to talk to that up-and-coming Rick told me about. Oh God… as much as my professionalism is telling me not to, I really need to spend some time with Rick. I don't want to face this alone._

Ding. Third Floor: Internal Affairs.

He stepped out of the elevator and looked around. Where was everyone? The place was deserted. It almost looked like everyone had just up and left.

He began to wander around, hoping he would run into someone sooner or later.

"Molly?" he called out, "Hello?"

"They all stepped out," a smooth and low voice came from behind him.

Spinning around, Horatio saw a well dressed young man standing a few yards away. His nearly black eyes flashed curiously behind steel rimmed glasses. His body was tall and lean, his skin rich and dark. Dreadlocks spilled from his head to past his shoulders. He was wearing a black suit with a red shirt; the top few buttons were open, showing off a black cord with a gold lion pendant wrapped around his neck.

He smiled warmly as he extended a hand of long and thin fingers, "Jeremy Fox. It's an honor to meet you, Lieutenant Caine".

Horatio smiled back, recognizing the IAB agent's name immediately. This was the Detective Fox Rick had mentioned a few weeks ago. Apparently he had a masters in Psychology/Criminology and was quite promising, not to mention quite personable for a member of IAB.

"Thank you, Detective Fox," Horatio nodded politely, "Where is everyone?"

"Molly and the team treated Rick to brunch," he shrugged, "I had to stay here to catch you. Let's face it; everybody knows what has happened to your Hummer. We figured you'd be up here sooner or later".

"'Treated Rick to brunch'?" Horatio repeated.

"Of course," Jeremy was shocked that Horatio didn't know, "in honor of his engagement… well… I guess it's _your_ engagement too. Congratulations".

"We got engaged and you treated him to a brunch?"

"We would have invited you," he explained, not grasping what Horatio was trying to say, "but after what happened we thought it best you stay here. Besides, you're probably quite busy with any incoming cases. Rick didn't find out about what happened until just a few minutes ago. I'm sure that if he knew about the vandalism that he would have stayed here with you".

"You guys are okay with the engagement?"

Jeremy looked a little confused, but nodded anyways, "Of course we are. Why wouldn't we be?"

Horatio opened and closed his mouth. Of course they knew that he and Rick were in a relationship. They probably have had a whole year to think about it and accept it. After all, this _was_ IAB; and apparently they knew more than they were letting on.

"Would you like a glass of water or some coffee before you describe the incident?" he asked, leading Horatio to an office.

"No, thank you".

Jeremy closed the door behind them, making his way over to his desk. The office was small compared to Rick's, but it did have a large window that took up the entire back wall. Horatio sat down on a mildly comfortable chair on the opposite side of Jeremy's desk.

The young man pressed a button on his voice recorder as he spoke, "March 20th. Interview with Lieutenant Horatio Caine".

oOoOo

"Calleigh?"

She looked up from the striations she was examining from a cold case. Ryan had poked his head into her ballistics lab, his eyes begging her to let him in.

"Ryan," she nodded, motioning him in, "what is it?

"Open your e-mail".

She hesitated, but the urgency in his voice didn't make her hesitate for long. She pulled out her phone and watched as the message popped up. It was a link to a website, which she promptly opened.

_**HORATIO CAINE IS GAY**_

_That's right; the lieutenant who has made life a living hell for Miami's most formidable criminals has come out of the closet. _

_It all went down last Friday at the Da Victorio restaurant when Horatio and his male lover came out to "Miami's Finest". To put it lightly, it wasn't very well received._

_Little is known about Horatio's gay lover. He has an average build and no outstanding characteristics, from what our sources tell us. Rumors say that he too works for MD-PD. Again, little is known._

Calleigh looked up at Ryan, "Why are you showing me this? Who sent it?"

"Dave in AV sent it out. If you scroll down he says that it would be best for us to know that this is bigger than we expected. He's trying to track down the IP address, but the search hasn't been very successful".

Calleigh scrolled down the page, her stomach knotting as she read the comments. The hate messages stung, and others terrified her. Horatio's life was in real danger.

"How many hits has this site got?"

"Thousands".

"And what percentage do you think have been from convicted felons?"

Ryan nodded, "We need to hide him for a while. And, of course, shut down that site".

"I don't think that H would be too stoked to have police protection".

"I know," she sighed, "but I don't want to risk it. Perhaps Rick will convince him to take a few days off".

The two of them stood in silence for a few moments, letting the gravity sink in.

"On the other hand," Ryan shrugged, "the website gave no mention of Rick, so it probably wasn't made by any of us. Maybe the graffiti was some outsider too".

Calleigh thought on this for a moment, "I don't know if that just made things better or worse".

"Neither do I… but it's something".

oOoOo

Jeremy turned off the voice recorder, "I'm sorry about all this, Horatio".

"I'll be alright".

"I hope so"

Horatio stood to go back to the labs, but was stopped before he could even get out of the office.

"Lieutenant Caine, if you think that I'm going to let you go back to work after what this morning has put you through, you're crazy". Horatio smiled weakly. "I'll call Rick, see if he's done with his brunch so he can get back here. In the meantime, you wait in his office"

"Thank you, Detective Fox".

"Please, call me Jeremy".

Horatio nodded politely as he stepped out of the small office. Jeremy pulled out his phone to text Rick, only to see that he had an e-mail. Pulling it open, he saw the website. His heart jumped to his throat as he read the comments. He had just met Horatio, but he already admired him.

He needed Rick to get back to the office… now.

oOoOo

Horatio felt a hand run through his hair. He opened his eyes to see Rick kneeling down next to him. Did he fall asleep on Rick's couch? How long was he out?

"I'm sorry," he apologized, sitting up, "I wasn't out for too long, was I?"

"No," Rick smiled, joining his fiancé on the sofa, "you've had a long day. I don't blame you".

Horatio purred as Rick leaned in and laid soft kisses on his neck. The brunette's strong hands pulled Horatio into an embrace, clasping to his lower back and tangling in his hair. Lips met in slow and sensuous kisses as a blush consumed Horatio's cheeks.

"I'm sorry your team has been all but accommodating to you," Rick whispered breaking away and looking into sky blue eyes. "Interviews are almost done, Jeremy should come up with a conclusion soon enough".

"He's a good man".

"With him, I know the department's in good hands," Rick smiled, "he could really fix IAB's reputation… that is if the egomaniacal jerks like me ever planned on stepping down".

"I don't think you're an egomaniacal jerk".

"Well… I didn't expect you to".

Horatio smiled weakly before he stood up, arching his back in a stretch. He began to make his way to the door, only to be stopped by Rick grabbing onto his sleeve.

"Just where are you going?" Rick demanded, standing up by Horatio's side.

"Back down to the labs," he explained, as if it was painfully obvious, "I've slept half of today off. I'm sure there are cases I have to look over".

"Calleigh has been put in charge of all incoming cases. Your lab's fine".

"I should still go check".

Horatio turned to go, but Rick wasn't about to loosen his grip on the sleeve anytime soon. Without a word, Horatio was pulled back onto the couch.

"Rick, I need to-"

"-I know you love your work," Rick smiled, "that you are devoted to the victims and their families. Truth be told, you are probably the greatest thing that's ever happened to this force. And, I know it's because you just put so much blood, sweat, and tears into each case. So much so that you sometimes just can't turn your mind off".

The redhead nodded, as humble as he was, he knew that most of what Rick said was true. Even now, when he was alone with the lover, Horatio was so driven to run downstairs and check that everything in the crime labs was running like a well-oiled machine. He did have faith in Calleigh when it came to her work, but still…

He made the move to stand up again, only to have Rick push him back down onto the sofa.

"Rick, please, I-"

"-Somebody has to remind you how to turn off the great Lieutenant Caine mindset," Rick smirked, "Lately it seems like you have been having trouble just… letting go".

Rick knelt down between Horatio's knees, looking up at his redhead. Impulsively, Horatio spread his legs and relaxed into the couch. He still wanted to check up on his team, but that desire was quickly melting away as he felt Rick's hands run along the inside of his thighs.

"It'd be like old times," Rick purred, "before we were bold enough to even take off our shirts completely".

Horatio breathed heavily, running his sweating palms on his thighs as he felt Rick manipulate him. It did feel like months since he last came into his lover's office and was treated to a blow job. So often had Horatio found himself nude and bent over the side of the desk or laid out on the couch. Not that he was complaining, mind you. Just observing.

Horatio trembled as Rick's hands slipped up under his shirt and stroked lovingly at his skin. His sides, chest, and stomach were lovingly caressed; and as much as he was supposed to be hands-off, he couldn't stop himself from opening his belt for Rick.

Stetler batted long pale fingers away, as grateful as he was for having them deal with the belt instead of him. But instead of pulling Horatio's pants open, Rick stood up.

The next thing the redhead knew, he was straddled and his lips were captured in a hot caress. He felt Rick's tongue slip into his mouth and slowly swirl around his before sweeping over every dip and mound that wet cavern had to offer.

The brunette's hands traveled up to Horatio's chest and slowly unbuttoned his shirt. With his thumbs, he was able to find quickly responding nipples. Horatio was unable to suppress a moan as he was toyed with, arching into the fondling hands.

"Do you still want to go down to the lab?" Rick purred.

"…a little".

"Well then, I guess that's just a problem I'll have to correct. No matter how... long and... hard the process is".

Horatio moaned and threw back his head, exposing his throat to his lover. Rick licked, kissed, and sucked on the newly exposed flesh. Smirking as soft and staggered breaths filled the air; Rick reached between them and went back to toying with the redhead's chest.

Breathlessly, Horatio dropped his head and looked into soft brown eyes.

"Did you like that, Horatio?"

"Oh fuck yes".

"What do you want me to do to you now?"

"I want you to have your way with me"

"_My_ way?"

Horatio nodded, looking longingly up at Rick. The younger man leaned down low enough to breathe into the redhead's ear.

"You mean you want me to rip off every stitch of clothing on your body, lay you down, and strap you to a bed?"

"Oh God yes, Rick"

"And I know just what I'll do after that, Horatio," the brunette purred, "But I'd have to gag you first, I know how you scream".

Horatio blushed and shivered. Rick knew him so well. He knew just how badly he wants to be manhandled and restrained.

"Then I'll snap a cock ring onto you... I'll make damn sure you will only cum when I let you. And when you do, it will be all over the sheets".

"Oh God, Rick!" Horatio moaned, digging his responding erection into the younger man's thigh.

"I'll stroke you right where you need it. And it will feel like heaven, but you know that you felt it for too much longer, you'd die".

Whimpering in desire, Horatio presses his lips against Rick's neck, "Please, love".

"And I'd spank that sweet ass of yours until both it and the palm of my hand are a burning red. Then I'll take off my belt and drag the cool buckle against your heated skin. Should I then lash the leather against your already aching flesh?"

"I'm yours, Rick"

"Mmm. You know what I want to hear".

Horatio was rewarded with a quick and sharp pinch to his left nipple, making his already aroused body tremble in want.

"Then I'd slick up two fingers and shove them into your tight hole. ...Or should I untie you and make you prep yourself?"

Horatio pulled off Rick's tie and opened the first few buttons of his shirt. He buried his face into the brunette's shoulder, sucking on the soft skin.

"I think I'd do that," Rick smirked, "I'd stand to the side of the bed, drop my pants and boxers, and stroke myself as I watch your cock leak".

"Rick," he gasped pulling him gently to where he was most needed.

"And only once you're completely prepped and I'm good and hard will I let you feel it," the brunette hissed, slowly lowering himself.

"Please, Rick!"

"It will slip right in and stroke you where it drives you wild".

"Sexy..."

"Then I'd pound into you. Slowly pull out and just slam back in".

"Yes..."

"You'd be on your hands and knees, just taking it from me"

"Oh God!"

"Do you have any idea how sexy and helpless you look when you're that hot?"

"Ri-i-i-i... fuck"

By now Rick was back on his knees and eying up a bulging arousal. He had batted away Horatio's hands countless times. He felt those long, pale fingers rest against the back of head and pull him in.

Rick slowly pulled the zipper down over the bulge and Horatio's erection slipped out. The redhead moaned helplessly as Rick's tongue ran against his pulsating vein.

"Oh yes, Horatio. I know you well," Rick breathed against his lover's hot cock, "I know you better than you know yourself".

Horatio whimpered pathetically as he felt a warm and wet mouth slide down and engulf his hardness. Blue eyes drifted shut as he threw his head back and thrust lightly.

"That's probably why I'm in IAB," Rick murmured before his tongue lased out and played with Horatio's slit. He smirked as he listened to a strained chuckle come from his lover.

Iron control slipped almost completely out of Horatio's grasp. He struggled to hang on, biting back screams and forcing himself not to buck into Rick's mouth. The only sign of Horatio's slipping control was a hard and leaking cock, twitching with need for release.

"Let go, H," Rick purred, "I know you want to".

Horatio didn't hear him though, he continued holding back. Rolling his eyes, Rick took the cock in his mouth and sucked hard, slowly pulling back.

"Aaaah!"

Horatio's eyes shot open, his hands clasped onto fistfuls of Rick's hair. He slowly closed his eyes again as he leaned forward, the sensation pulling him.

Rick kept sucking and backing up until the swollen and weeping tip came out of his mouth with a soft 'pop'. Rick looked up, every cell of Horatio's being expressed how much he was straining. Rick smirked and went in to repeat the action, only getting about a millimeter before Horatio let go

The redhead gasped his lover's name repeatedly, throwing his head back and thrusting wildly. Rick relaxed and let Horatio fuck his mouth, tasting the much needed release.

When Horatio finally had enough strength to open his eyes, he saw Rick lick the last of him clean. The brunette looked up and smiled as he felt a hand lovingly caress his hair.

"There," Rick cooed as he tucked Horatio back in and zipped him up, "feel better?"

The redhead nodded, lying back and feeling boneless. He was pulled into a loving embrace by his fiancé, who crawled up on the sofa to cuddle him. Rick smiled as he pressed his lips against Horatio's neck over and over again.

"You poor thing," Rick whispered, "We'll catch whoever graffiti-ed your Hummer".

"I know," the redhead mumbled, "I trust Jake".

"And we'll find who made that website".

"'Website'?" Horatio sat up, breaking out of Rick's embrace to look him in the eyes. "What website?"

Rick's eyes saddened, he reached out and stroked the side of his lover's face, "you don't know? You _were_ out for a while".

"What's on the website?"

"Originally? Not much. It just said that you came out last Friday at Da Victorio. It reports you as gay. But it's the comment section that bothers us; anonymous people seem to be organizing against you".

Horatio groaned "It's Eric or Natalia... I know it is. They want to pull us apart".

"That's where you're wrong, Horatio," Rick said softly, "You see... I'm not mentioned... anywhere".

Rick watched blue eyes blink at this revelation. He then was pulled into a tight embrace.

"Thank God," Horatio whispered into his fiancé's shoulder, "Thank God".


	15. Names

**Chapter Fifteen: Names**

Jeremy Fox tapped on the glass that surrounded Jake Berkeley's glass office.

"Come in, Detective Fox".

Jeremy let himself in, closing the door after him. He looked around the glass walls of the CSI offices. He could almost feel the eyes prying at him, trying to figure out who he was. The CSIs knew nothing about him, except that he was an agent for IAB; and as far as they were concerned, that was a good enough reason not to trust him.

"How are you, Detective?" Jeremy asked, trying to be polite.

"Tired," he sighed, "I'm usually sleeping at this ungodly hour".

"It's four in the afternoon".

"You're tellin' me".

Jeremy couldn't help but to chuckle. Jake looked up, their shining dark brown eyes meeting for the first time. He smiled at the IAB detective.

"What have you got?"

"Manila file folders filled with paper," he smiled, throwing six of them on the table.

"Thanks… Detective".

"My analysis: If any of the team did it, it would be Eric or Natalia. Frank doesn't want to jeopardize a friendship he's had for so long over this. Ryan and Calleigh expressed regret over leaving the dinner early. Valera apparently was the only CSI to fully accept the relationship".

"Did Horatio's interview confirm that?"

"Yes, he told me that she was the only member of his team who he could really trust. He said that he wanted to be able to trust Calleigh again… but he didn't want to take any chances".

Jake sighed and shook his head, "I don't get it, I mean… Horatio used to be the most powerful, feared, and respected man on the force. And now… I guess I never thought about how most people view homosexuality… you kind of forget about that perspective when you live in a city like this".

Jeremy nodded, "But that's only half the equation, remember. They're mostly upset because of Rick's involvement".

"I guess…"

Shrugging, Jeremy leaned over and paged through Jake's reports. He flipped through the crime scene photographs, just at that moment learning how much of a personal attack this was. Perhaps he should get Rick to convince the lieutenant to take a few days off.

"Detective Fox?"

"Yeah?"

"I just found out that my day-shift counterpart is engaged to your IAB sergeant. Can we talk about that?"

"Of course," Jeremy smiled.

"Thank you," Jake breathed, "I… I just found out a few hours ago and haven't been able to talk about it".

"I understand".

"First of all: how long has this been going on?"

"About a year," Jeremy nodded, "They were called up by their unions to the mountains for a retreat. We don't have all the details, but after that there had been a certain something between them".

"Describe".

"Horatio always seemed to be a bit over-upset whenever Rick had to open an investigation on the team after that. He would actually go into Rick's office and shut the door behind them. He did that before, but that was to muffle the shouting matches they got into.

"After the mountains the trips to Rick's office became more frequent. And we would hear… if we listened closely… different sounds come from there".

Jake looked away; a light blush covering his cheeks as he did. Of course, Detective Fox only wished to imply that the two men would frequently make out in the office. Berkeley, however, took the statement for its full value; which was also accurate.

"I didn't mean to at all hurt the lieutenant's reputation for you," Jeremy explained, "I merely wanted you to understand why IAB has such a grasp on the situation. I know it must be confusing to you that a team of CSIs were unable to detect a long-term affair taking place right under their noses. But when one finds an idea so preposterous, or so against nature… they would convince themselves not to believe it. No matter how professional the CSIs usually are, they still, like all people, will try to bend the facts to fit the hypothesis… instead of the other way around".

"There's one thing, I don't understand," Jake sighed as he leaned forward in his chair to rest his elbows on the desk, "why is IAB taking this so well?"

"Aside from having around a year to digest and process the information? It's simple. The CSIs noticed almost no change in Horatio, as he chose to keep absorbing himself in the cases that came in. We, on the other hand, received a very upbeat sergeant. It was a welcome change from his usual bitter temperament; it actually made things start running smoother".

"And you're not at all concerned with the conflict of interests this relationship implies?"

"Rick has dropped all investigations of CSI on me. Eric's case was Rick's last, and even that he had me review and sign everything. They've been quite careful in that respect".

"But not in the respect of… keeping their hands to themselves while on duty?"

"If you wish to hold up Lieutenant Caine for sexual harassment, go ahead. But they don't exactly leave any evidence and nobody would like you for it".

"Why Horatio?"

"Because he's the superior officer".

Jake fell silent again. Horatio and Rick's relationship didn't seem to be affecting their quality of work in a negative way at all. Horatio had the same consistency he always had in the labs. And Rick actually seemed to improve.

Jeremy noticed that the detective was still trying to process all this information. He decided to change the subject.

"What did the security tape catch?"

Jake gave his head a little shake out of its previous mindset to get back to work, "the figure was hooded and didn't show his face to the camera".

"But we know it's male?"

"Based on height, shape, and shoe size; it most likely is".

"How tall is he?"

"Around six feet, but that estimation could be off by at least an inch. The security cameras we have in the parking lot aren't what you would call high-res".

"Well, that definitely rules out the women in this lab".

"Both Eric and Ryan are about six feet tall. Considering that they both use the garage, I don't expect to find any usable evidence on their shoes".

"And they both are around harsh chemicals here, so I expect all evidence would have been washed away by now".

"If it was someone from the lab, they would have covered their tracks. The tape was left alone because they knew that it would lead to a dead end. Six foot is a pretty average height".

Jeremy leaned back in his chair and thought for a moment, "we could probably psyche a confession out of Eric".

"Delko is quite familiar with the system, he'd demand evidence. Give me a few more hours to try to get some more hard evidence before we start interrogations".

"I guess," Jeremy smiled as he got up, "Not like Eric's going anywhere".

Jake followed suit and stood up as well. "It has been a pleasure speaking with you, Detective Fox," he said, outstretching his hand.

"Call me Jeremy," the taller man said, shaking Jake's hand.

"It's been a pleasure speaking with you, Jeremy," Jake corrected himself.

"The pleasure," the IAB detective said with a smile, "is all mine. I'll see you around Detective Berkeley".

"Jake".

"Jake".

With a soft smile Jeremy turned and walked off.

oOoOo

Horatio and Rick stepped off the elevator together and onto the second floor. They walked hand in hand to Horatio's office, where Rick stopped and let the lieutenant collect his things.

"Rick," Valera said softly, approaching him, "Rick, I know that I'm not supposed to talk to you; but what's going on?"

"Horatio and I are just going home for the day. Actually, I'm going to try to get IAB to give him a few mandatory days off. Just to let this drift by as much as we can before we get back to work".

Valera nodded understandingly, "I wish you two my best… be careful though. We haven't tracked down the website yet".

"I'll keep an eye on him".

"Thank you".

Horatio emerged from his office, his briefcase full of reports and case files in hand.

"You should drop those off with Calleigh," Rick suggested as Horatio turned to lock the door.

"No, I need to look these over. She can pick it up once the investigation's done".

He gave Valera a weary smile before he turned to Rick and motioned for the two of them to get going. Rick's hand once again found Horatio's and their fingers laced together again. Valera watched them walk close together as they held hands, a little surprised to see Horatio wearing his ring. But then, they had no reason to keep their affection from the lab for any longer.

oOoOo

Eric was sitting in the break room, drinking a soda and looking over the day's paper. When he looked up and out the glass walls, he saw Horatio and Rick walking hand in hand.

_That bastard_, Eric growled to himself, _After Speed died he was as tormented as I was until he met Marisol. Then after their short time together, she was gone and he was hurt and alone again. But what about me? As selfish as it sounds: what about me? I lost my best friend and my sister and I never found any comfort after that. I tried everything. The women, the alcohol, the drugs… no matter what I did I couldn't forget._

_But here he is, holding hands with the man who has tried to take my job away from me countless times. My job… the one real distraction I have from just how fucking lonely it is to sit at home and know that nobody wants to see or speak to me._

_It doesn't matter what was written on Horatio's Hummer, they still just stand there, lording their happiness over me. Even an asshole like Stetler gets to feel complete, why not I? What is it about that peace they have that I don't deserve? Why is it wrong for me to hate them for it?_

Then Eric saw it, the little glint of golden light that caught off Horatio's ring. Horatio's engagement ring. He didn't want to believe it was there, but it was… clear as day.

_No… just… just no. This isn't right. It's not legal… but… they'd wait for as long as they need to until it was… wouldn't they? That's not fair! It's not right! Nobody would ever do that for me, no matter how deeply I loved them. I'm just meant to be used and forgotten, aren't I? I bet that's what Calleigh thinks. It's what Natalia thought, I'm sure. And every other woman I thought could make me feel whole again._

_But they would wait. Nobody waits for me. Horatio can wait for Stetler, but nobody waits for me. Horatio can wait for STETLER, but NOBODY waits for ME!_

Eric got out of his chair and caught Horatio and Rick as they passed the break room.

"So," he said, stopping them and catching their attention, "you're engaged?"

Horatio looked nervously into Eric's dark eyes. He knew that Eric wasn't taking his relationship at all well.

"Yes," Horatio said with a light nod as he fingered the ring, "yes we are".

"You know," Eric snarled, "they don't allow for civil unions in the state of Florida".

"Yes, I am quite aware of that".

"So that ring's useless, why don't you return it to the store for a _real_ couple".

Eric didn't know what he was even saying anymore; he was just throwing words together that he knew would hurt. All he knew was that venting at Horatio was making him feel a little better. Even the thought that he was mouthing off his boss didn't seem to unnerve him.

"Rick and I love each other," Horatio said sternly, "why can't you accept that?"

"Just because he keeps you company in bed doesn't mean you love him, H".

oOoOo

Ryan looked up from the trace table to see his friend say something that made Horatio take a step back and Rick fume with anger. He put down his notes and took off his lab coat, running to the group to try to save his best friend's ass.

oOoOo

"C'mon, H," Rick said softly, "let's get out of here".

"And don't YOU call him 'H'," Eric growled.

"He's my fiancé, Delko, I can call-".

"- he's not your fiancé!" Eric shouted, getting the attention of the rest of the lab, "'fiancé' implies marriage! THAT implies a man and a woman!"

"Eric!" Ryan called out as he rounded the corner to where the group was standing, "stop. Just stop".

"Leave me alone, Ryan," Delko snapped, "you're as bad as they are".

"Eric, stop. This isn't like you".

"This," Rick growled, "is exactly like him".

Horatio kept his eyes off of both Rick and Eric for the time being, he didn't want to think about how difficult of a time Eric must be having.

"Let's leave, Horatio," Rick whispered, giving his lover a little nudge in the direction of the elevators.

The redhead obediently walked to the elevators, Eric staring after him.

"Is that all? Aren't you even going to defend yourself?"

Ryan grabbed onto his friend's shoulder, "Eric, stop".

"You coward! You spineless bastard! You… you… you faggot!"

Eric's hand had flown to his mouth, but it was too late, the word had already come out. Everyone stared at him with their jaws agape. It was as good as a confession.

Horatio did little more than shake his head in disappointment as the elevator doors closed in front of him and Rick.


	16. Roses

**Chapter Sixteen: Roses**

Rick stood in front of the refrigerator. He was thirsty, but he wasn't sure what for. In his mind he was tossing around the idea of making some lemonade out of the bottle of lemon juice he bought to make fish two weeks ago. But he decided to wait.

Horatio had left about an hour back to go to the grocery store. They were running low on food; but more importantly, he needed some time alone to let it sink in that Eric was responsible for vandalizing the Hummer. Rick didn't expect him to let this sort of thing just roll off his back; but he also didn't expect Horatio to be taking it as bad as he was.

_Hopefully Horatio would feel a bit better after a full meal_, Rick thought. _I hate seeing him so hurt. These past few days haven't been very kind to him. He must be really stressed out, he's been breaking down in tears a lot recently. I wish I could convince him to cry it all out and move on… but he's just not that sort of person._

_He'll have to be making a lot of adjustments. There's all the work left to do with the lab. IAB might give Eric a suspension, but Horatio said that he didn't want to press charges. Then there are all the changes here, I'm permanently moving in. He's probably really stressed out… well… I guess I'm left to do my best to make him comfortable for a while._

Rick yawned. The day took a lot out of him and he too was pretty stressed. He looked forward for Horatio to come home so he could just throw something quick in the oven. Then they could just go upstairs and lie down together… bed sounded beautifully inviting to Rick.

Rick turned as he heard a soft knock at the front door. He pulled it open to see his lover with his arms full of grocery bags.

"You need any help with that?" he asked as Horatio brought them into the house.

"No, just a few more trips and I'll be good. But if you could get the perishables into the refrigerator, that'd be great".

Rick nodded affirmatively and started putting things away. As he dug around in the bags he discovered a bundle of a dozen red roses. Horatio came in with the last of the bag and watched Rick make the discovery.

"Why, Horatio," Rick smiled, "you shouldn't have".

"Good, because I didn't," Horatio smirked, plucking the roses from Rick's hand, "They're not for you".

"We've been engaged for two days and you're already cheating on me?"

"No, they're for one last person I have to tell about this".

Rick nodded understandingly before he got back to rummaging through the groceries. Apparently Horatio wanted comfort food for dinner, judging by the amount of potatoes he bought.

"Horatio, do you want mashed potatoes for dinner, or are you showing off how Irish you are?"

"Cute, Rick".

The brown eyed man did little more than smile, "I'll make you some mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese".

"Thank you".

Rick watched as Horatio wandered into the living room and rummaged around the shelves of scrap paper, digging for something. Sighing, he put the food down onto the counter and joined Horatio in the living room. He walked up behind him, having to force himself not to just lean in and kiss the back of that red hair trimmed neck.

"She was buried at Lakeside," Rick said softly as he placed his hands on Horatio's shoulders and rubbed them lightly, "I'm not sure of the exact address".

"Thank you," the redhead whispered, spinning around in Rick's arms and letting himself get pulled into an embrace, "I don't know how I could have forgotten that".

"You were stressed out, understandably so. And didn't Calleigh make most of the arrangements for you and Eric?"

"She did..." Horatio paused, a little shaken by the memory, "How did you know I was going to see Marisol?"

"Because your mother's in New York, Ray was cremated, and I don't think Speed would appreciate the flowers as much".

Horatio smiled and let Rick pull him into an embrace, "you don't think it's strange?"

"That you want to find closure? No. Not at all".

"Ray always thought it was strange that I would go over to the cemetery and talk to mom," Horatio sighed into Rick's shoulder, "I think that's part of the reason why he wanted to be cremated and scattered over the ocean… so that I wouldn't be bothering him in the afterlife".

"You can bother me in the afterlife".

"Don't talk like that, Rick. I don't want to lose you".

"Fine, I'll bother you in your afterlife," Rick shrugged, "I'll cremate you and stick you in an urn and set you up in the living room. And I'll come in and talk to you and watch TV with you every day. You'll get no peace until I go too. Then we can be together again, with no websites or Hummers to bother us".

"You have this all planned out".

"That I do".

Horatio backed up a little out of his fiancé's embrace, sighing deeply. "I should get going… before it gets dark out".

Rick nodded in agreement and looked up at the clock on the wall, "I'll give you about two hours and not turn the oven on until you get back. You deserve a hot meal after all you've gone through today".

"Thank you".

"Anytime".

Rick said "I love you" and gave Horatio a gentle peck on the cheek before the redhead was out the door, roses in hand.

oOoOo

Horatio looked over the short and rolling hills of the Lakeside Cemetery, a peaceful spot around thirty minutes from his home. It was about an hour before the sun would completely set. Everything should be bathed in a golden light within the hour.

A soft breeze played with Horatio's copper red hair and lightly pulled on his slacks and jacket. He clutched the bouquet close to his chest, but not close enough to suffocate the flowers.

His shoes sank slightly into the finely manicured and emerald green lawn. He wandered past rows of tombstones, most a basic array of crosses and arches; some were angels or some more abstract shapes for a grave marker.

Then there it was, plain as day; the same short headstone with the little stone vase next to it. It was a little overgrown; he hadn't visited the site for about seven years. Apparently Eric hadn't come either. He had to brush a bit of moss away to read it clearly.

Marisol Delko Caine

1978 - 2006

He placed the roses in the little vase and sat cross-legged down on the soft ground. Leaning forward, he sighed deeply as he brushed his hand over the arch of the stone.

"Marisol?" he whispered softly, tilting his head as he gazed at her name. He didn't continue until he felt a little gust of wind prompt him to.

"Marisol? It's me, Horatio," he paused, wondering if somehow she could actually hear him, "It's been a long time, and I'm sorry I haven't visited as often as I probably should. There are so many things I have to tell you… so many things happened while I was away. Things are going to get easier for Cuban immigrants… but that's not what I came to talk about.

"When we wed… we were both pretty high-risk. I mean… you with the cancer and I with my line of work. Death was something we talked about quite freely. Given… nobody expected things to end like they did… but… anyways.

"I remember saying that if I was killed in the line of duty that I would wish for you to re-marry and not live out the rest of your life alone. You then said that if the cancer took you, that you would wish me the same. And well… I think it is just the right thing to tell you that… I'm engaged.

"Your brother isn't too happy about it. I… I don't know how you would feel. I mean, _I_ would want _you_ to be happy. I guess what I'm trying to tell you is… I'm engaged to a man.

"I know I never told you I was bi… I know that I probably should have. But I honestly thought that I was pretty obvious and that anyone close enough to me could figure it out. I… I'm still sorry I didn't tell you though.

"You probably want to know his name, don't you? It's Rick… Rick Stetler. He works in IAB, and… I know Eric never thought very highly of him, but if it wasn't for Rick, we would never have met.

"Look, Rick's a good person. Eric might say different, but he's a good person. He makes me smile and just be happy to be alive. I love him, Marisol. We complete each other. I can feel young when I'm with him. I can philosophize with him. I'm content just to be by his side.

"Marisol. Please, Marisol. I'm not 'replacing' you… Eric thinks I am. I loved you, you know I did; and don't for an instant think otherwise. Rick's relationship wouldn't have meant the same to me back in 2006 as it does now. We're older and understand that much more about life and love and… and…

"Remember when we met? Remember the promise of hope we gave each other just by existing? Would it have meant as much at any other point in your life? If you had to live it all again, would you change a thing about the life you led? I know I wouldn't. And I don't think you would either.

"He's a good person… a very good person. Some may have said that he has hurt people, but all he really wants is to be loved and cared for. Although he has a loving family, they weren't very close, and he never really felt the sort of love he has always needed. We complete each other".

Horatio sat there and looked down at the grass for a few moments. He wasn't quite sure what else to say, it had been a while since he last spoke to Marisol like this.

"Should I bring Rick by here sometime?" Horatio asked, not quite ready to leave the gravesite yet, "I don't know if he'd be comfortable with it. But perhaps he would be".

He fell silent again. He wasn't sure if Marisol could hear him… and if she could, somehow, he wasn't quite positive that he needed to be at her grave for her to be able to. It felt a little strange. But with each passing word, Horatio was able to find a bit of comfort. Perhaps she would tell him that she's just happy to see him happy again.

He checked his watch, he promised Rick an hour, and he still had to drive home. Besides, it was getting dark. The redhead raised himself up on one knee, gently placing his hand on the top of her grave marker.

"I'll come back, Marisol. I promise. But I have to go now. Things aren't as safe for me as they used to be".

"No," a voice from behind Horatio crooned, the sound of a cocking firearm kept him from turning around, "they most certainly are not".


	17. Gunpoint

**Chapter Seventeen: Gunpoint**

Horatio froze. The sound of the blood rushing through his ears was almost deafening. He let out the breath he was apparently holding and quickly drew in another as he felt a hand clamp onto his shoulder. The hair on the back of his neck and on his arms stood on end as he felt the cold steel of a revolver muzzle press under his chin, forcing his head up slightly.

The redhead knelt there, taking in and letting out incredibly ragged breaths. He trembled as he felt the color drain from his face as he tried to get on top of the situation.

"Don't try to fight us," the voice commanded.

"You're outnumbered".

"Hold still".

_Three of them?_ Horatio thought to himself, trying to figure a way out. He bit at his lip when he felt a hand take the handcuffs from his belt. His arms were drawn behind his back and his writs locked together.

Rough hands lifted Horatio up from his knees. As much as Horatio wanted to see the two men on either side of him, clenching onto his arms with enough force to leave bruises, he was left starring down the barrel of a revolver.

The armed man was young, in his early twenties. His eyes were dark and intense. He was about as tall as Horatio, his skin the color of a rich coffee. He was well dressed, in dark pants and a button down red shirt.

"We'll have time for formal introductions later," he said, a slight southern drawl detectable in his voice, "but for now, you will come with us. Don't try to fight us, we're keeping you alive, but they wouldn't mind you dead".

Horatio followed the young man with his eyes as he walked around and out of his field of vision. The next moment, the redhead felt the muzzle of a gun against his mid-back.

"Walk".

Horatio was led down a path and towards a white cargo van with no windows in the back. He looked around desperately for a sign of anyone who could have seen him being led away or come in. But the cemetery was deserted aside from them and the rows of stone grave markers.

The armed man opened the back door and Horatio was nudged inside and onto the floor. Everything about it was hard and unkempt. There were little rips in the rubber flooring and odd stains on the walls. Something smelt of bleach.

The two men who took Horatio's arms followed him into the back. The armed man closed the back and went around to the driver's door.

Horatio pulled himself up to a sitting position to see the two men in the back with him, both looking around the age of eighteen. One, who was obviously a bit taller than the other, had olive skin, a hook nose, and piercing black eyes. His raven hair was wavy and a little longer than Horatio's. He had a Van Dyke beard and heavy stubble. He looked quite threatening considering he was unarmed.

The other man was a little shorter than Horatio. He had creamy skin, blue eyes, and a baby face. His hair was blonde, short, and spiky. He defiantly looked the least sure of himself with this; like he was probably talked or threatened into the situation.

Horatio looked warily over at the driver as he heard the van start up. He jumped as the sound system kicked in at a nearly deafening volume. The beats of the unintelligible music made Horatio's ears pop. The olive skinned man grabbed Horatio by the shoulder and wrenched him down onto the floor of the van again. The redhead lay there on his stomach, realizing that he was now unable to see or hear where he was.

"Hey, Anton," the driver called, "get his phone, we don't need the cops tracking it".

Horatio gasped as his pants pockets were felt up and his phone was removed by the man who recently threw him to the floor. He bit at his tongue to keep from grumbling when he noticed that Anton grabbed the phone with a hand covered by his sleeve.

Horatio looked up and could almost see the driver pitch the phone somewhere in the general direction of Marisol's grave.

With a soft whisper of a voice, Horatio finally spoke. "What are y-"

"-Shut up, Caine!" Anton ordered, "one more word out of you and you _will _be gagged".

Horatio fell silent at that. He rested the side of his face against the floor of the van, looking away from the two men who rode in the back with him.

_Breathe, Horatio_, he thought to himself, _just breathe. If you just calm down and think everything through in a logical fashion, you'll get through this. _

_The one with the revolver is obviously the leader. He's giving orders and the others seem to be following without much question or hesitation. He's doing most of the talking… for now at least._

_Anton is either the muscle or just a close friend of the armed one. I can't quite decide. He might just be a bit more violent or hot tempered than the others. I think he'd be most likely to slip up._

_And then there's the blonde. I don't know about him. It hasn't been that long and he hasn't said a word so far. In fact, he doesn't really look like he wants to be here. Maybe he was just used to buy off the security guard. Maybe he's just uncomfortable being out where he could get caught. He might be more aggressive when we get to… wherever we're going._

Horatio turned his head back to the two men, seeing them whisper to one another. Anton eye him up with a smirk before he went over and straddled Horatio at the hips. The redhead didn't spend much time wondering what the hell the aggressive one was doing on top of him, the answer was soon clear.

Horatio clutched his left hand into a fist as he felt Anton pry at his fingers. He was after the ring. Biting his lip to keep from ordering the other man to stop, Horatio struggled under the younger man's weight. He knew that he couldn't hold on forever and that Anton defiantly had the advantage and would end up with the ring sooner or later. But he was determined to put up a fight.

After a bit of worming and prying on Anton's part, Horatio's ring finger was segregated from the rest of his fist. He cursed loudly as he nearly lost his grip and the finger curled up again. But he was able to straighten it out to get the ring off.

Horatio bit back a cry as he felt a tendon in his arm tighten and his hand cramp up once his ring finger was extended. _Let go_, he thought at himself, _Rick would understand. You're going to need the proper function of as many limbs as they would let you._

Reluctantly, Horatio relaxed the tension on his hand. He cringed as he heard Anton laugh to himself and felt him pull off the ring.

The aggressive one sat back down next to the blonde and handed the ring over to him. He turned it around in his hands a few times before he nodded to Anton, who gave a sly smile in return. Horatio was suddenly very glad that he didn't have any gold fillings that they could pull.

Horatio turned his head to face away from the others once more. He closed his eyes, took a deep breath and began to pray.

_Look, I know I haven't been the best person. I never have been. The more I try to help people, the more they end up getting hurt. I don't know why… it just happens._

_I have taken many lives in the line of duty. I have killed two people in cold blood… one of whom was my own father. I know that I'm the reason why Marisol is dead and why Rick had been raped. I can never forgive myself for that… and I would understand if you can't either._

Horatio cringed and shivered slightly as the van went over a rugged patch in the road.

_I broke Rick's heart. I hurt him more than any other man possibly could. I haven't been that great a friend to Frank… he confided everything in me and I couldn't even tell him that I was happy. I don't even know what's going through Eric's mind… but it's very unlike him… I deserved what he gave me. Natalia is still working in the labs even though she is responsible for Rick being beaten and raped for a second time. I just allowed it to happen. I was never really the best brother…_

_All I'm trying to say is that… whatever happens to me, whatever they do… I deserve it. I deserve the beatings and… possibly death more than Rick or Marisol ever did._

The van slowed significantly and the two men started shifting around, they were probably nearing wherever they wanted to bring him.

_But could you just grant a sinner one last request? Although I don't deserve mercy anymore. _

_Please tell Rick I'm sorry. Tell him I love him more than anything. Tell him that I'm just happy that it's finally me instead of him. And please… please… keep him safe._

Horatio felt his stomach turn to stone as the van rolled to a stop. At any other point in his life, he would have said that he wasn't afraid of death. But now he had someone to live for. And although he didn't feel he himself was worth much, he needed to hang on for Rick's sake. So Rick wouldn't have to be alone again.

The key was pulled from the ignition and the speakers were silenced. Horatio could immediately tell that they were far from the city or any major roads.

The driver turned around. "Get out. We're here".

oOoOo

The house had an old New English style about it. It was in a neighborhood where the homes were spaced far apart. The home the van stopped in front of seemed to be going under some sort of remodeling. A large green dumpster was parked on the lawn and dust hung heavy in the air.

The back door was opened and Horatio was led into the house with his head pushed down. He watched in silence as he was led across broken stone, through a door, and onto broken tile. No words were said as he was pulled across the house, onto dusty carpet, and up a flight of stairs. They moved down a hall, stopping in front of an opened door. His head was finally let up.

He was standing in front of a bathroom. It was on the small side, despite it being a full bath. There were no windows in the small room, the only lights being harsh florescent. The cabinets had all been ripped out, leaving exposed pipes for the sink. Lying around on the floor was a long hemp rope.

Horatio gasped and stumbled as he was shoved into the room. Anton pushed him against the sink and emptied his pockets. A wallet, a badge, and keys were thrown to the floor. The blonde bent over and picked up the artifacts.

"Useful," he commented as he pocketed the badge, he examined the keys, "also useful, but not now," he picked up the wallet and rummaged through it, "money… cards… photographs… little key".

He handed the little key over to Anton, who turned Horatio around and unlocked the handcuffs. The redhead was left to stand facing the sink, rubbing his bruised wrists. He was confused, but grateful.

"We can't trust you with your own cuffs… or any cuffs for that matter," the driver explained, Horatio looked over his shoulder to see that man was still armed.

Anton spun Horatio around to face them again. He gave his captive a moment to look around before he hissed the word, "strip".

"Excuse me?"

The words were barely out of Horatio's mouth before his jacket was pulled from his body and he was thrown to the floor. A foot was placed between Horatio's shoulder blades and Anton straddled his hips again, pinning him to the ground.

The hemp rope was wrapped around his wrists, binding them together. Horatio watched as the blonde picked up the discarded jacket and disappeared into the hallway. He reappeared moments later, scissors in hand.

Horatio was sat up against the pipes, pulling helplessly at the restraints that held him. Anton continued with the rope, wrapping it to the pipes behind the lieutenant.

"Dennis!" Anton called over his shoulder; Horatio noted the blonde respond to the call, "Start working on his shirt, will you?"

Anton backed away, his knots complete, giving Dennis a clear path to Horatio. The redhead watched as his knees were pushed down and the young man got on top of his thighs.

Horatio pressed his back up against the pipes, attempting and failing to evade the hands that moved in towards his shirt. The fingers moved down and swiftly opened the shirt, exposing Horatio's chest. He took up the scissors and brought them to the bunched fabric near Horatio's collar bone. Horatio closed his eyes, feeling the dull side of the scissors brush against his skin as the arm of his shirt was cut free from his body. It was then repeated on the other side.

His belt was then pulled off. His shoes, socks, and pants soon followed. He was afraid to learn what would happen if he struggled with that.

Anton had picked up the ruined shirt and cut off a long and thick strip of fabric from near the hem. He used a jackknife, probably the same as the one he cut the rope with.

In one solid motion, Dennis managed to pull Horatio's boxers from his body. Horatio gasped as he was suddenly completely exposed to the men.

"Good to see that the carpet matches the drapes, Lieutenant," the yet unnamed man sneered.

Horatio pulled his knees up close to his chest, trying his best to censor himself. Anton folded the scrap of fabric a few ways before he crouched down next to his captive and gagged him.

Pulling helplessly at his restraints, Horatio watched Anton get up and turn to the other men.

"He'd not getting anywhere anytime soon".

The ringleader nodded at the other men and they followed him out. Dennis reached to the exposed electrics on the wall and the small room plunged into darkness with the flick of a switch. A soft click was heard as the door was locked.


	18. Getting Cold

**Chapter Eighteen: Getting Cold**

Rick stirred from his horizontal position on the sofa. He had finished up preparing the dishes about a half hour after Horatio had left. With about thirty minutes to spare, he decided to take a quick nap on the couch. He didn't want to cook until Horatio got home.

He checked his watch, it was nearing midnight. He grumbled to himself. It wouldn't have been the first evening he could have spent with Horatio that he ended up sleeping through. Well… the day had been too stressful; at least he was feeling better. Hopefully, Horatio was too.

_I wish he would wake me up if I nap too long._ Rick thought to himself, _I hate sleeping through our dinners._

He wandered into the kitchen. He needed a small bite to eat or else he would wake up starving. Everything was pretty much where Rick left it, which was a little strange. Horatio would usually clean up when Rick left a mess in the kitchen; it was one of his few OCD aspects.

_Hmm… he must have been tired too._

Rick cleared off the counter himself, dumping all the waste on the counters into the trash bin. He then drained the water in the skink and let the dirty dishes soak in fresh, hot water. After quickly drying his hands on a dish rag, Rick grabbed an apple from the fruit bowel and wandered upstairs, nibbling on it.

_At least I waited for him to get home. If I didn't, the food would have gotten cold._

The bedroom was dark. Silver beams from the full moon shone through the sheer white curtains. Rick slowly approached the unmade bed, leaving a trail of discarded clothes. He tossed the uneaten quarter of the apple into the waste bin next to the bed. Clad in nothing but his boxers, Rick climbed into bed and under the covers.

He reached over and pulled the mound next to him in bed close, but only to pause. He was holding on to Horatio's body pillow. Quickly, Rick sat up and turned on the light, fully realizing that he was alone in bed.

Rick's attention turned to the bathroom. Horatio could have fallen asleep in the tub, it had happened once before.

_Should probably save him before something happens_, Rick smirked as he gave the door a gentle shove open.

But the room was empty, and Rick was starting to get concerned. He flipped on the lights, on the off chance that he was just overlooking something. A few tentative steps were taken into the room before Rick quickly grabbed his robe from its hook and went back into the bedroom.

_Maybe he's out on the balcony._

The sheer white curtains were pushed aside as Rick shoved the French doors open. There was a slight breeze coming in from the ocean that tugged on Rick's garment. The brunette moved the telescope a bit so he could get a good view of the entire beach, only to find that Horatio wasn't out there.

_Where the hell is he?_

Rick closed the doors behind him as he went back into the house and rushed into the hallway.

"Horatio!" he called out into the empty house, "Horatio!"

What began as a walk quickly morphed into a run as Rick tore through the house, looking for his fiancé. He checked every room five times over, calling Horatio's name. Finally, his search brought him to the phone.

_Calm down_, Rick ordered himself, _just calm down and breathe. You don't want to scare him when he picks up… if he picks up. No! No, stop thinking like that. Of course he'll pick up… of course…_

Rick reached out and quickly dialed Horatio's cell number.

"We're sorry. The number you dialed is temporarily not in service. If you-"

Rick quickly hung up.

_Calm down, calm down. Maybe you just dialed too fast. Try it again… slower._

He dialed again.

"We're sorry. The number you dialed is temporarily not -"

_Try again._

"We're sorry. The number you dialed is -"

_Put a one in front of the area code this time._

"We're sorry. The -"

_Wait a few moments. Breathe. Try again._

Rick took a few deep breaths as he began to pace around the kitchen. Rubbing at his face and stepping on cold tile, Rick quickly discovered that he was wide awake; and hardly the same man he was a few minutes ago.

Nervously, he looked at the phone and dialed again.

"We're s-"

"-MOTHER FUCKER!" Rick shouted into the receiver before he slammed it back onto the base.

"Where is he?" Rick started talking to himself, he needed to hear _some_ voice, "Where is he? What is he doing? Why isn't he here?"

He turned his attention to a small drawer under the phone and began rummaging through it. Eventually he found a telephone directory for MD-PD.

He dialed.

oOoOo

Valera rolled over in her bed and automatically hit her alarm clock. When she realized that that wasn't the source of the noise, she stared at the time. It was 12:48 at night.

She glared at the phone, willing it to silence so she could go back to sleep. Voice mail picked up after the third ring, but the phone soon started up again. She decided that whoever was on the other end wasn't about to give up soon.

Reluctantly, she tumbled out of bed and felt around in the dark for the phone. She picked it up before voice mail could catch it a second time.

"H'lo?"

"Valera? It's me, Rick".

It took her a few seconds to process this. "Stetler?"

"Yes".

She looked back at her clock. "It's 12:49 in the morning".

"I know, and that's why I'm concerned".

"What?"

She heard him take a deep breath, "Horatio left to… run an errand just before sunset. I just needed to rest my eyes, but I ended up falling asleep and… well… he never came home".

"And you tried calling him?"

"His phone's dead".

Valera turned on the light and gave herself a little shake in attempt to wake up faster. "Well… let's think things through. Is his car gone?"

"Yeah, I don't think he ever came back".

"Alright, alright… are you positive that he left no voice messages or notes or anything like that?"

"Yeah, I've checked everything about twelve times over, even e-mail".

"What about his place? Could he have possibly crashed at his place?"

"I'm at his place right now".

"What about your place?"

There was a pause, "I didn't try there yet".

"Call it".

"Alright".

"Butbeforeyouhangup!" she blurted into the phone, hoping that she wasn't on the way to the receiver on Rick's end of the line.

"Yeah?"

"Did you call MD-PD, missing persons, anything?"

"I'll go to MD-PD if I don't know where he is by sun-up. But I just need to drive over to my place and check if he's there".

"Wait. So, was I the first person you called?"

There was a little pause on the other end. "Yeah".

"Why?"

"Because… because you are the only person who really knows Horatio and would accept a call from me".

Valera sighed and sat down on the floor next to the phone, "Rick… look… things will clear up. You just have to give the rest of them some time to adjust".

"What about Eric?"

"Eric has no idea what the hell he's doing half the time. I wouldn't worry about him. He's probably spending a good fraction of his time beating himself up about it, anyways".

"I wish I could believe you".

"I wish you could too, because it's true".

"What about-"

"-I really can't tell you about many more people's current position on this, Rick".

"Oh… okay".

She thought for a moment. "But I can tell you this: most of them feel remorse about leaving you guys at dinner".

"Really?"

"I can't tell you about Frank, Yelina, or the kids. But even Natalia is having second thoughts about her reaction to you two".

"She is?"

"Yeah. Today she called you 'maybe not all that horrible'".

She smiled to herself as she heard Rick chuckle softly from his end. "Well," he said lightly, "I guess that's as high as I have to hold my expectations".

"There," she said pointedly, "I made you laugh".

"Thanks".

"Do you feel better now?"

"A little. I'm calmed down to say the least, at least for now. No promises on when I get over to my place though".

"Well, at least you have an idea of where to look now".

"Yeah, thanks for that".

"No problem. And I'm sure that he'll turn up soon. Just remember to leave a note at his place that you went out looking for him. You know, in case he comes home and wonders where you are".

"That's a good idea".

She listened to Rick dig around in a drawer, probably for a pen and paper. "I'm sure he'll show up by morning," she re-assured him.

"You think so".

"Yeah, he's probably doing everything he can to get a hold of you right now".

"I bet… I mean… I _hope_ you're right".

oOoOo

Three hours of fruitless searching later, Rick returned home. He had checked his place, the station, the cemetery, the pub he used to frequent, and he even drove past Yelina's place. Nothing.

He caught a glimpse of himself as he walked past the mirror in the front hall. He looked about as tired as he felt. His eyes were slightly bloodshot with dark circles under them. His skin was ashy and pale. The occasional hopeless tears that fell left salty trails down Rick's cheeks. His hair was ruffled from the number of times he had run in hand through it in worry or attempt to keep himself awake.

"Horatio?"

It was no use. The house was dark and empty. He looked over at the phone, considering calling Valera. He decided against it, he had already woke her up once; maybe it was better to just wait till morning.

He dragged himself up the stairs and down the hall to his and Horatio's bedroom. His feet were uncoordinated, his hands were dry, and his vision was getting a little blurry. In his entire life, he had never been so tired and so awake at the same time. But his biological need for sleep was quickly overwhelming his psychological need to find Horatio. The bed, although empty, looked soft and welcoming.

Rick once again stripped out of his clothes as he made his way to the mattress. He slipped back between the sheets and pulled his lover's body pillow into his arms. Everything about the bed was comforting, the redhead's familiar scent still lingering on the sheets. Horatio's name escaped Rick's lips in a soft whisper as he nuzzled the side of his face against the pillow and held it tighter.

Just as soon as he nearly got comfortable, Rick found himself up and on his feet again. There was just one more place he had to check. He knew he was avoiding it, but before he could sleep, he knew that it had to be done.

Rick pulled his robe on and walked down the hall to the study. The computer hummed to life as Rick plopped down in front of it, rubbing his face and trying to adjust his eyes to the screen.

He logged in and pulled open his e-mail account. Nervously he hovered the cursor over the message, the message he had been avoiding all day, the only unopened message in his inbox. After a long and uncertain pause, he pulled it open and clicked on the link.

Jeremy had showed him the site on his phone; he only saw what the creator had posted. But he had heard that the comment section was nothing short of terrifying. He scrolled down the page, going down quickly enough to not even catch coherent words from previous posts. He just wanted to read whatever was posted last.

id pay 50000$ to see caine dead

Rick's stomach turned to stone and his heart jumped to his throat. He was dizzy. He was nauseous. His head was whirling but his body hardly had the strength to move.

Through a haze, he clicked at the back button to return to his e-mail, only to miss and hit refresh. A new comment had been posted.

$70,000

Rick could hardly function at that. He reached over and powered down the computer, the small room plunging back into darkness.

His head still swimming in the confusion, Rick pulled himself back into bed to find much needed sleep.

Sleep that never came.


	19. Allen

**Chapter Nineteen: Allen**

Horatio had no idea what time it was, but he had been fighting to stay awake. His head felt heavy and would begin to drop every time he was about to nod off. The echo of a falling sensation that gave him always woke him back up.

A while ago (he was already finding it difficult to measure time in the dark room) he was at a state of hypersensitivity. He could hear footsteps from downstairs. He could hear footsteps from the other side of the street. His heartbeat was nearly deafening to him and he could feel his pulse surge through his entire body. He could feel the individual threads that made up the rope that bound his wrists.

But that was then. And as the night wore on, he began sensing less and less, until he was alone in the silent darkness that was his prison. The only things he could feel were the cold tiles under him, the wet and cool pipe he was tied to, and the ropes and gag that held him.

His eyes had been straining into the darkness for… God knows how long. But there weren't even any outlines that he could make out. This made him shiver. He had no idea how long they planned to keep him in there. There were stories he remembered reading back when he was a student that he struggled to recall every word of. Stories about men who were taken prisoner and put in caves; after a while they would begin hallucinating. If they were given any more time they would be driven mad, and then go blind.

He couldn't for the life of him remember how long it took on average for the hallucinations to start. He struggled to focus his thoughts, but his mind kept throwing terrifying images at him just the same.

_Rick_, he whispered into the gag, _just try to remember Rick. If he's all you think about, then you'll be fine… right?_

Caught in the dazed state of the mind right before sleep, he couldn't decide which way to fall. If he stayed awake there was the definite danger of scaring himself half to death. But if he fell asleep, he would completely lose track of the already feeble hold of time. Besides, he needed to keep tabs on the men who abducted him.

Horatio looked up as the heard a creak as one of the steps leading up to the second floor was trodden on. His muscles tensed as he looked into the darkness, he pulled his legs back up to his chest. From under the door crack there was a faint light, growing brighter as the footfalls drew nearer.

The dim light was nothing short of blinding to the redhead. He turned his face away and screw his eyes shut, the red light leaking though still far too intense for his sensitive sight.

"Lieutenant".

The voice was from the unnamed man, the southern drawl all the more audible from out the silence. Horatio still couldn't see him though, and as the light was switched on he knew that his eyes had to adjust soon.

"You've made quite a name for yourself, lieutenant," it went on, "your arrest record is outstanding. Always the voice of the victims, weren't you lieutenant? Always the hand of justice".

Horatio squinted up at the voice. The man was only a faint and fuzzy silhouette against the florescent lights of the ceiling. He knelt.

"Do you know who I am?"

Horatio squinted at the figure again before he shook his head.

"My name is Allen, but I don't expect you to know me," he clarified, "but I know you know my father".

"_Your father?"_ Horatio struggled to say, but it only came out as a muffled grunt. The other man was becoming more in focus now.

"You were very insistent on taking him down, lieutenant. But you… so persistent. It took you two years, but you put in him in jail... manslaughter".

Horatio wanted to remember, but he couldn't keep his mind on the task. The feeling sank into him that Allen wasn't going to stand there all day talking at him; he was far too smart for that.

"You said he killed his daughter," Allen whispered, drawing in towards Horatio. "You thought he would kill my _sister?_" he scoffed, "that bitch wasn't related to me. She just begged my father for money, she was delusional. And you say that he arranged her murder".

Horatio stared at Allen blankly, he couldn't say anything, and he couldn't remember who he was talking about.

"Heaven forefend that Chief Judge Joseph Ratner happen to discredit your abilities to perform your duties; especially after you accused him of fucking and killing that prostitute".

Horatio focused all his energy on not pointing out that Ratner practically confessed to the murder of Donna Scott. He knew that he was gagged, but on the off chance that Allen could hear him anyways, he didn't want to risk it. He blinked one more time and everything seemed to snap into focus.

Allen stood, Horatio for the first time seeing the crowbar he had in his hands. His hands were covered by thick and heavy gloves. The crowbar was given Horatio's complete attention, the object swinging back and forth every time Allen took a step.

"But I didn't come in here to talk about him," he shrugged, "I'm here to talk about you". Allen smirked as he realized that blue eyes were following every microscopic movement of the tool in his hand.

"A price is on your head, lieutenant," he continued. "As of five minutes ago it is up to $100,000 – and that's just for dead. We obviously aren't the ones setting the prices, just collecting the profits. You are in quite a decent position to be dispatched… your head on a platter for the highest bidder… and no, that's not a metaphor".

Horatio kept his eyes on the crowbar, suddenly not quite so sure if he could possibly evade it if it was swung at him. Memories of the splatter tests his team had conducted on clay simulates of human skulls filled his brain. The physical brutality of any beating with the crowbar was not lost on Horatio.

"But before we do anything we might regret, we want to look into… alternative options for you".

Horatio met Allen's eyes, looking for answers in them. He saw nothing. There wasn't remorse or fear, or even pride that he had successfully captured him. The man was near impossible to read.

"We haven't decided what those 'alternatives' would be yet. Just a heads up that you'll be here for a few days. You're in Anton's hands now".

Allen watched Horatio's eyes drift off into space. The redhead slouched slightly and dark circles were visible under his eyes. Horatio wasn't exactly paying attention to Allen's last sentence as he was suddenly overwhelmed by an almost crippling hunger. He hadn't eaten since breakfast and already his features were beginning to sink.

"I'll get Dennis to feed you".

Horatio responded to the word 'feed' and nodded.

"After I'm done with you".

"_What?"_

A sudden and sharp pain that started in Horatio's left shin resonated throughout his entire body. It pulled the breath from his lungs and made his eyes dilate. He cringed as he fought for another breath. He didn't even realize what had happened until he opened his eyes and saw the crowbar be drawn back and rush back down on him again.

It was then the intense pain hit.

He couldn't move. The burning and constricting agony traveled up his leg and took control of his back. His throat tightened up and kept him from screaming. He twisted his wrists and tugged in vain for freedom, his pale skin scraping and burning against the ropes.

Tears blurred his vision, but the outline of a figure drawing back and raising a bloodied crowbar was still visible.

"_Stop! STOP!"_

It hit his other shin with a loud crack. In his entire life, Horatio had never felt such physical pain. His mind was hardly able to function, it too was brought to a halt by the crowbar.

"_Please! What do you want from me?"_

Alan hesitated as he drew back the crowbar again. In this moment of pause, Horatio released an almost primal cry. Although the sound was muffled by the gag, it was still a sound that no man should ever have to make… or even hear. It was from deep within him and seemed to rip through his entire body. The strained expression on Horatio's face, baptized in tears, only made it worse.

Part of Allen wanted to stop, but he knew what had to be done. For the sake of the other two men involved, for his father, for his own hide… he knew what had to be done. He waited for Horatio's eyes to drift closed before he brought the crowbar down onto his knee.

Horatio was going numb and losing his ability to stay conscious. The last blow he could hardly feel, the pain was already so crippling and nauseating. He began to figure that if the pain knocked him out now, it might be best. Compared to it being so bad that he wouldn't be able to sleep, no matter how tired he got.

_I just don't want to be awake._

A final blow to his other knee, and his wish was granted.

oOoOo

Horatio was awoken by the harsh ache that lingered in his lower legs. His eyes slowly drifted open, a little surprised to see that the lights were on. The blonde Dennis was at his feet with gauze, tape, a large bottle of hydrogen peroxide, and a rag. Horatio watched for a few moments, looking around at the cleaned floor and crowbar.

When it occurred to him that he was completely exposed, he tried to draw his legs back up. They were only able to move a fraction of a degree before he moaned in pain and they had to be put back down.

"It's alright, Horatio," he said softly, "Avoid moving your legs for a few hours".

The redhead winced as the wounds on the other leg were cleaned. A sharp sting from the disinfectant made him cringe and struggle not to pull back.

Two wooden braces, which looked like pieces of a broken yardstick, were pressed against the broken bone after the first few layers of gauze were on. Horatio was actually pretty impressed that his captors were cleaning him up as much as they were. However, the impulsive need to censor himself was becoming greater by the moment, making him pull on his already bruised, burned, and bleeding wrists. Dennis heard the older man draw in a quick breath.

"What's bothering you, Horatio?"

Horatio drooped his head forward and to the side, trying to indicate at some point behind him. The younger man got up, but carefully, he didn't want to risk any chance of the redhead lashing out at him. As soon as he stuck his head under the sink where the pipes were, he could see the blood.

"I'll take care of that too, I guess," he sighed, grabbing more hydrogen peroxide, "although those are your own damn fault".

Still, the minor wounds were tended to.

"I'll be right back," he whispered as he gathered up the cleaning supplies.

Horatio watched as Dennis walked out. The man was still a mystery to him. He wasn't hostile, but he wasn't trustworthy. Both his and Anton's reasons for abducting him still weren't clear, and he wasn't sure if they ever would be. The men were young, but they weren't dumb. They weren't about to sit down and tell him their life stories. But then again… Horatio wasn't quite so sure if he'd ever find freedom.

Before Horatio had any more time to think about his fate, Dennis returned; bread and water in his hands.

"I'm going to take the gag off," he said softly, so softly Horatio could hardly hear him, "and if you scream, it goes right back on. No food. Got it?"

Horatio nodded and the gag was slowly removed, the taste of cotton lingering in his mouth. He wanted to speak, but his tongue was dry and his throat ached from screaming earlier. All he did was look longingly at the cup of water.

Dennis gently took the redhead's chin in one hand and lifted the water to his lips with the other. Water spilling out of the corners of his mouth, Horatio quenched his thirst.

"You're not like the others," Horatio whispered as the cup was lowered.

"True," the blonde shrugged, "but then, Anton isn't like Allen or I. And Allen is on his own too. So there really is no common denominator".

"But you haven't hurt me".

"I'm not an incredibly violent person".

"Then why are you helping them?"

"Now now, Horatio. You can't expect me to be telling you that, now can you?"

"I guess not… but can you at least say what's going to happen to me?"

"No. I don't know that yet".

He lifted up the heel of bread and Horatio gave a slight nod. It too was brought to his lips, but all he could take was a small and weary bite out of it. It took a few minutes before the entire thing was consumed.

Horatio swallowed hard before he asked, "why was I stripped?"

Dennis shrugged again, "for the same reason you're tied to a pipe in a windowless room in an undisclosed location with broken legs: we don't want you getting away".

"I… I feel…"

"What? Vulnerable? Exposed?"

Horatio nodded.

"Good," the blonde answered, lifting the water to Horatio's lips again, "that was the point".

He watched the abducted slowly drink the rest of his water. Blue eyes met, making Dennis take the cup down. A soft whisper of thanks drifted on the air as the young man dug around for something in his pocket.

"Close your eyes and relax".

Horatio wasn't about to question this. If he could win this one's compassion, he figured that he would be able to have enough sustenance to keep himself alert. He gasped as he felt a sharp and focused pressure dig into his bicep. He nearly fainted when his eyes flew open and he saw the hypodermic needle that was now buried deep in his arm. A cold sweat broke out all over his body, Horatio's heart quickening and breaths growing short. The syringe was emptied into him.

He swallowed hard as the needle was pulled out of him, leaving a small puncture wound.

"What did you do to me?"

"It won't kill you," he shrugged, "right now, if anything, it should take the pain away".

"But… but…"

It was no use, consciousness was fading fast. His head was swimming and his stomach churned, trying to fight the bouts of nausea. Within seconds, he was again unconscious. Dennis picked up what he brought in and gave Horatio one last glance before turning out the lights and closing the door behind him.


	20. Sleep Can Wait

**Chapter Twenty: Sleep Can Wait**

All eyes turned to Rick as he stumbled into the CSI labs. His clothes were wrinkled, his hair unwashed, and dark circles forming under his once sparkling brown eyes. With a series of wobbly and uneven steps he slowly made his way towards the DNA labs. He could feel the eyes of everyone on the floor. But he didn't care. He needed to talk to Valera. She may not be powerful, but at least she could listen.

He shouldered his way into the DNA labs, nearly crying with frustration when he saw that Natalia was the only one in. Leaning against one of the glass tables, he ran his hand over his face, trying to collect himself.

"Where's Valera?" he slurred, the stress making the fourteen hours he was awake unbearable.

"Stetler," Natalia said sternly, him being the last person she needed to interrupt her work. "Are you drunk?"

"I'm not drunk," he groaned, rubbing the stubble that was already quite heavy on his face. "Where's Valera?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Where's Valera?"

"Don't you think that you're responsible for enough of the crap that's happened this week? Leave her alone."

"Where is she?"

"Get out of this lab!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

It took all of his self-control to keep from picking up the centrifuge next to him and throwing it. He stood there staring at her, panting to keep from having a complete physical outburst. Eyes from across the glass halls and rooms of the CSI labs fell on him. All thinking one thing, he _had_ to be drunk.

"Excuse me?" Natalia snapped, "but I'm not the one who barged in here wasted and-"

"-GODDAMMIT! I'm not…" Rick stopped to rub his forehead, he couldn't think straight and it was keeping him from finding Horatio. He hated himself for it.

"What's going on here?"

Calleigh had appeared in the doorway behind Rick. At this point, surprises more irritated him than startled. Her voice made him groan in discomfort before slowly turning to face her.

"I just need," he breathed, "to talk to Valera."

"Valera's collecting DNA from the morgue. What's going on?"

"I haven't slept. I just need to talk to her."

He stumbled past Calleigh and into the halls, Eric and Ryan looking up from the evidence examination table. The Cuban felt his stomach tighten at the sight of him; although he heard that Horatio wasn't going to press charges, he still felt very uneasy around Rick. If it wasn't for Ryan, he probably would have taken the day off. Since his outburst yesterday, the younger CSI had been hovering around him, making sure that there was no aspect of Eric's personal life that was falling apart and making him act out. Ryan was one of the very small handful who understood that Eric wasn't homophobic, but he did have a bitter temper and didn't respond well to the unexpected.

"What's with him?"

Ryan put down his magnifying glass as he continued to watch Rick try to keep himself standing. "I don't know. Stay here, I'm going to check it out."

Eric opened his mouth to retort. Given, he could be a bit impulsive, but he refused to be treated like a child. He watched as Ryan pulled off his lab coat, hanging it by the door. Rick was leaning against one of the glass walls, shaking his head and looking down with Calleigh hissing something to him while moving her arms around. Natalia just stood there, a slightly satisfied and condescending smirk frozen on her lips.

"What's going on?"

Calleigh put her hands on her hips and sighed, a little irritated. "He's not talking."

"I'm just going to wait here until Valera gets back."

"Why? What's going on?"

Rick winced in irritation at Ryan's question. Why wouldn't they just get Valera to him faster? Eric hung up his lab coat and leaned against one of the glass walls, watching Rick and the rest of the crowd from afar. He crossed his arms.

_Things were definitely better before he was sleeping with H._

"Rick," Calleigh said sternly, "if you're not going to tell us what's going on, I'm going to have to ask you to leave. We already have our hands full with Ryan having to keep tabs on Eric and Horatio taking the rest of the week off on IAB's request."

The IAB sergeant was so frustrated that he didn't even see Valera walking up to the crowd.

"Rick?" she asked, her arms full of tubes of potential DNA samples, "Are you alright? What are you doing here?"

It didn't matter who else heard. He just needed to tell her… now. "He didn't come home last night."

Valera paled, the others leaning towards him in curiosity. Eric uncrossed his arms and joined the group. He arched his eyebrow and tried not to give a crooked smile as he said, "he left you?"

"NO!"

As the others glared at the short-tempered CSI, Rick's mind began racing once again. What if Horatio _did_ leave him last night? With everything that they went through, Rick didn't want to think about it being even a possibility. But he did know that between Mac, his kidnapping, and his initial reaction to the engagement postponement… Horatio could think that he was too emotional and high-maintenance. It would seem that Horatio would enjoy being with someone who needed him as much as Rick did; but did he need Rick?

He tried to shake the notion off; telling himself that if Horatio didn't love him, he wouldn't have accepted the proposal. But that nagging feeling that Horatio was just doing it because he was a gentleman remained. However, even if that was the case, Horatio wouldn't just leave him… would he. Did he really just run away? No note? Nothing?

_What if he didn't just run away from me… but everything? What if he killed himself?_

Rick could feel his entire body sicken with the thought, his cheeks suddenly feeling hollow and his eyes sink into his skull. A slight numbing that started with his tongue swept across his shoulders and into his fingertips. He felt like he was nothing but bones and a straining heart. He would have fallen if his legs hadn't buckles under him, instead he just swayed slightly.

_I'm going to be sick._

"How could you even suggest that, Eric?" Valera demanded, dumping the samples onto a nearby table in the DNA labs before coming out and glaring at him. "They love each other."

Rick felt his heart jump into his throat and begin to strangle the last of the life out of him. Old images of his fiancé drowning came back to him, life escaping him and blue eyes widening in panic. _It could be happening right now. And there's nothing you can do about it. _His imagination began to torment him, concocting the sight of the redhead taking his gun and turning on himself. All alone. Weeping. Frightened.

"Well, after all that's happened," Eric started defensively, "He might want to be alone for a while."

Valera had to breathe deeply to keep from growling at him right away. "You don't even know what you're talking about."

_Horatio's soft lips lightly brushing against cold metal as he puts the muzzle of the gun into his mouth._

"You don't know Horatio like I know him!"

"Eric!" Calleigh snapped, "Get back to trace. You've done enough damage."

_A final tear sliding down flushed cheeks, he puts a gentle pressure on the trigger._

"I'm tired of being treated like a child. You know as well as I do that H hasn't been the same since that night."

"That's because we left him when he needed our support, Eric!"

_The sound of a gunshot ringing across the everglades as he falls onto the wet ground._

"Hey! If Stetler comes in saying that Horatio didn't come home last night, the first thing I think is that he left him."

"This isn't the time to say things like that," Ryan muttered. "Not like we know where he is."

_Once bright blues eyes remain wide open, the life of them gone forever. _

Calleigh arched an eyebrow at Eric, "do _you_ know where he is?"

"No. But he's not with Stetler, and that's enough for me."

_Forever…_

Valera fumed, "You can't just say things like that! We have to find him."

"You care about Horatio," Calleigh snapped at the Cuban, "At least I thought you did."

_Thick and warm blood begins to pool under his head, staining the grass. A few drops spill onto his lips, turning them a deep red. That gentle breath will never-_

"-oh God!"

Everyone turned to watch as Rick's legs finally gave out beneath him. His tall and slender body swayed one last time before folding and crumbling into a heap on the floor. Natalia couldn't help but to stare at him quietly as deep breaths made his frail body expand and contract slightly, his sobs and moans something worse than she had ever heard from anyone before. Eric felt sick to his stomach as the fear of a child was more than audible in Rick's cry.

"Sergeant?"

Rick's eyes tried to open in response to his title and the hand that rested on his shoulder. The brightness of the room was far too much for his tear-filled eyes to take. He nodded in affirmation, looking with eyelids heavy at the ground.

"Rick? It's me, Jeremy. What's going on?"

The small crowd stayed silent until they realized that Rick didn't have enough energy to speak.

"Horatio stepped out last night," Valera offered, "he never came back home. Nobody knows where he is."

Jeremy nodded before kneeling down and whispering to Rick. "Go home, sir. You look like you need rest. We'll send out some of the CSIs and the search dogs to find him."

Rick looked up, the tear tracks on his cheeks standing out against his slightly pale skin. "'Go home'?"

"Yes, sir. You're obviously not at all well. I'll drive you if you need-"

"-No," he muttered softly as he pulled himself back to his feet. "I'm fine. I'll go."

The group watched as Rick strode confidently towards the elevator. Valera turned towards Jeremy, "is he gonna be alright?"

"Hopefully," the IAB agent muttered before he turned to address Ryan, "Mr. Wolfe, would you do us a favor and follow Rick. See that he doesn't do anything rash. You may use one of IAB's vehicles."

Ryan bit his lip softly before responding, "I have to keep an eye on Eric today."

"And Ms. Duquesne needs to take care of the lab and Valera needs to give us her statement. I just need a set of eyes out on him. Eric can come with you."

Ryan nodded and gave Eric a little nudge towards the elevator, earning himself a glare before the two of them started off. Valera was taken up to IAB while Calleigh went downstairs to tell Frank about Horatio. Natalia was left there, unable to stop herself from thinking that she might be responsible for a piece of the strain Rick was feeling.

oOoOo

The IAB sergeant stepped out of the Walgreens and back towards his car, tossing the quickly consumed energy shot into the garbage bin. He used to swear on his life that he would never take those things; and now he finds himself tossing a small bag full of them into the passenger seat. But he needed to find Horatio, and he would be unable to live with himself if he let this opportunity slip past him.

_First his place again, then mine._ He thought as he pushed the key back into the ignition. _Then the cemetery again, I couldn't see a thing last night. I'll find him. I'll find him if I have to tear down this whole city. And goddammit, I'm not going to sleep until I do._


	21. Anton

**Chapter Twenty-One: Anton**

Horatio woke up, groggy and his mind scattered. He was sitting and propped up in a corner of a new room. The room had windows, a single door, and what looked like a closet. Either the room was filled with some gas or something was wrong with his eyes, the walls seemed to be rippling. Whatever it was was making him dizzy. But where was he? The unfurnished master bedroom? Maybe. It wasn't that important, the windows were covered and he was still tied. Thick coils of rope were still the only thing he wore on his body. The tape over his mouth had been removed.

_Where am I? _He thought, shifting his arms and trying to find a more comfortable position. _Is this the same house? It kind of looks it. When did I move? I must have passed out last ni- …wait. What happened last night?_

The once shooting pain in his legs was now more of a dull and constant throb. He could see that he had been bandaged up, but he couldn't remember what caused the damage in the first place. Maybe that was a good thing.

A series of footfalls came from what sounded like a stairway. There was no point in trying to escape this; he would have to wait until he was positive he would be able to stand. And things being as they are, a simple test of that seemed to be out of the realm of possibility. Since he was abducted he had only walked twice, being forced to sit for hours on end. His backside felt sore, it felt like his own pelvis had bruised him as punishment for sitting down for so long. He had been on tile in the bathroom, but even the carpet he had under him now felt like stone.

Allen Ratner shoved the bedroom door open, stepping in with a camera and a tripod in his hands. He eyed Horatio up, as if he was daring the older man to try to object. Dennis followed him in, a large and freestanding lamp in his hands. Horatio watched in silence as the blonde walked over to a wall outlet and plugged it in.

"You're on TV a lot, aren't you, Lieutenant?" Allen half-asked half-stated as he set up the camera and tripod. "So you know how to behave for the camera."

If something was wrong with his eyes, something was wrong with his ears too. Allen sounded like he was echoing, like he was underwater or something. Horatio winced and squinted as Dennis turned the head of the lamp to shine into the redhead's eyes, assaulting his senses. When he was finally able to open them fully again, Dennis had left and Allen was adjusting his camera.

"I know what you're thinking," the young man said matter-of-factly, "but they won't be able to trace this place fast enough. You'll be out of here before Miami's finest even find the video selling you."

More footsteps.

"You know what, Caine?" A voice blared from the hallway, "I hope you sell better than your stupid ring can."

Anton stumbled into the bedroom, an intoxicated grin on his face, a cigarette in his hand, and Horatio's ring on his hand. The gold of the band caught Horatio's eye, the color swarming the room and pulling the redhead's attention. Anton laughed and waved it in front of Allen's face. Horatio's eyes widened, his heart racing as he began fighting against the restraints. He winced as he felt the skin begin to rip open again under the ropes. A sharp stabbing pain ran through his legs as he impulsively tried to move towards Anton.

"Get your filthy hands off that!"

The olive skinned man threw his head back and laughed loudly, more to be obnoxious than in actual pleasure. The sound alone felt like it was enough to make Horatio start bleeding out of every orifice on his head, nothing had ever pierced him like that had. Anton flashed the ring to Horatio mockingly.

"What?" He chided, taking a drag on his cigarette, "Are you afraid that your boyfriend would prefer me?"

"Leave him out of this!"

"I'm sure he'd love me to go over to his place and show him a good time. I'm not queer, like you, but I know how to-"

"-Anton," Allen said sharply, "we have to get this video out ASAP, we'll deal with his boyfriend later."

"What's his name, Caine?"

"I'll never tell you," Horatio growled, his raw arms tugging helplessly at the binds.

"Maybe it's written inside the ring," Allen offered, "as an inscription. Like _'Kurt loves Horatio' _or _'Horatio and Phil'_ or something."

The redhead felt his stomach knot. Was there an inscription? He wasn't sure. These past few days have been so rushed that he wasn't even sure if he got around to really examining the ring. It would be sweet if Rick did bother to have it inscribed, but… it could put his life in danger. Allen seemed smart enough to know that if they really wanted to hurt him, they would hurt Rick.

Pulling the ring off over his hard and large knuckles, Anton held it up to the light and squinted.

"'Infinity'," he read, turning it around to see if there was anything else. There wasn't. "That's gay."

Horatio felt his heart warm and melt as soon as "infinity" was read. It was supposed to immortalize that moment when they were first supposed to be engaged, when they first officially began the rest of their lives together. He could still see the adoring and slightly pleading look in his lover's eyes when he bent down on one knee. Every time Rick ever said he loved him came rushing back to Horatio.

He sighed longingly, Rick smiling lovingly at him from his memory. _How do I get so lucky?_

"Whatever," Anton scoffed, tossing the ring to Allen and taking another drag, "hold this. Is the camera ready?"

"Yeah," he nodded, pocketing the ring and giving the camera one final check, "Do you know what you're going to say? You know we don't get much time to do this."

"I'll do this in one take."

"Sure you will."

Anton stood in various places in the room until the man behind the camera nodded, pleased with his location. It was then that Horatio realized what was happening, it was all finally beginning to sink in. He was being sold. Some lowlife was going to buy his body, probably to destroy it. And that was only the tip of what he knew would feel like an endless iceberg. If he fell into the wrong hands, everyone he cared about could be in danger. What if they tried to hurt Rick or Kyle?

_I've never been tortured before. Not like this._

"Recording," Allen announced before he hit the button that made the little red light pop on.

"I don't expect many of you to know me," the young man announced, pacing between Horatio and the camera. "But I _do_ expect the best of you to know who my father was. In fact, most of you _should_ have done business with him. My name is Anton, son of Clavo, Cruz."

_Clavo Cruz had a son?_ Horatio thought, trying not to let his confusion show. He pulled his knees a little closer in to his chest, wincing as he felt something in his right shin shift slightly. It was no secret that his legs were in incredible pain, but the adrenaline racing through his veins seemed to trump all that. If only he wasn't so dizzy, he might be able to focus on the situation.

"We have managed to acquire who has been the thorn in your side for the past decade, if not more. We first posted Caine's real sexual orientation as part of an ongoing investigative project showing who the _real_ Horatio Caine is. But it, as you know, had given us more than we could have hoped for. So we're giving you a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity."

The redhead winced as his stomach churned sharply. He almost felt his features begin to sink and his face begin to pale. Everything hurt and it felt like his head wasn't even on the same planet. He bit down on this tongue to distract himself, hoping that the frustration wouldn't become great enough for him to need to cry.

"The," he paused to think of the right word before shooting it at Horatio, "legendary, Horatio Caine is going to the highest bidder. So… if you think you can give him what he deserves better than the next guy, start placing your bets in the comment section below."

Horatio sighed, hoping that this was it and he can be dragged into the bathroom again. He needed to throw up.

"But we all wonder one thing. Look, I know that he's taken our families away from us… and we all want to return the favor." Anton knelt, his piercing black eyes glaring at the man who gunned down his father. "Who's your boyfriend you son of a bitch?"

"G-g-go to hell."

The redhead's body tensed as he felt rough and cold hands clasp the side of his face and constrict his throat. He cringed in disgust as he felt unfamiliar lips press against his own. Struggling wasn't an option with the large fingers leaving bruises on his pale neck. All he could do was sit there and pray that it would soon be over.

Anton let go after a long moment, laughing in the mind-splitting way of his. "He likes it!"

Horatio would have snapped back, but he couldn't bear the feeling of a hand on his throat. All it did was remind him of those nights when his own father choked him until everything started going black.

"What's his name, Caine?"

Horatio just shook his head helplessly, never going to tell him what he needs but still knowing better than to talk back. He was punished anyways as Anton Cruz lifted the cigarette and dug the smoldering tip into his captive's chest. Horatio winced and groaned in protest until the smoke was completely extinguished and was discarded onto the floor.

"I'm going to ask you again," Anton said coldly as he pulled out another cigarette, lighting it and taking a puff. "What's his name?"

"I'm not telling y- Aaah!"

Tears began to rush to innocent blue eyes as another cigarette was extinguished, this time on Horatio's stomach. The sharp points that ached combined with his shattered legs and the lingering nausea made even the task of sitting upright difficult. His arms began to bruise as he pulled at his restraints. Before he could even realize that he had shaken his head to the repeated request, a burn was branded onto his shoulder. Time lost its grasp on Horatio's fragile mind and soon it didn't even feel like separate moments as burns were scattered over his body. It took all his strength to keep focus on his mouth to make sure Rick's name didn't escape it.

"Tell me!"

"No!"

Horatio's pained sob turned into a scream as what he prayed would be the last of the cigarettes was put out on his crotch. Stabbing pains covered his legs as he tried to bring them up to protect himself. The last of his control slipped away with another sob, making the bile rise and burn his throat. His eyes closed; when they opened again there was a puddle of vomit on the floor and a bitter taste in his mouth. Blue eyes began to water again as the desire to be taken out of consciousness once again overcame him.

Anton's piercing laugh filled the room again, dry heaves taking control of the redhead's body. Tears fell from closed lids as a warm stream of fluid hit Horatio on the shoulder. He didn't want to look. He didn't have the strength to acknowledge what Anton was doing to him, although the stench of ammonia was distinct. Soft ginger hair turned dark as it was soaked before the stream wandered down to his chest. The moment seemed to stretch on forever before it finally ended.

"We couldn't make him talk," Anton announced, zipping up his pants, "but you might. Bidding ends this Wednesday, at 6:00 eastern standard time. I promise, he will be delivered to you alive."


	22. Marisol

**Chapter Twenty-Two: Marisol**

Untamable adrenaline was pumping through Rick's veins as he drove up to the cemetery he checked last night. He had done everything he could to not let his imagination get the better of him, although he was still sure that he would find his lover's unconscious body lying amidst the tombstones. The brunette rubbed his sweat-coated hands on his pants leg, slowly rounding the winding roads of the cemetery. From behind one of the imported trees, Horatio's black Mercedes Benz convertible became visible, making Rick's heart jump into his throat.

It was a short moment before Rick had parked and darted out of his car and over to the abandoned vehicle. He pulled out the spare set of keys Horatio had given him a few months ago, opening the door and looking inside, half-expecting to see Horatio passed out in the driver's seat. The air was eerily silent as Stetler rested his forehead against the frame of the car, taking deep breaths and trying to calm himself down. If anything, he needed to focus on the task at hand and try to remember everything he had ever picked up about crime scene investigation.

_Breathe, Rick_, he thought, closing his eyes and rubbing the slight sweat from his brow. _Wherever he is, he needs you… he needs you._

His eyes scanned over the car, looking for anything that was at all out of place. But there was nothing. Everything seemed in the order he and Horatio kept it. Part of him wanted to grab Horatio's crime kit and go over the seats and windows with everything he could. He promised himself that he would do everything in his power to see Horatio safe once again. But that meant the he also had to leave the evidence to the CSIs that were sure to follow his lead.

Discouraged and hurt, Rick closed the door, popping the trunk and giving it a thorough look-over for good measure. Nothing. He closed up the vehicle, taking a deep breath and trying to analyze what he had learned from this. It wasn't much.

Rick stood up and tried to look over the artificial hills of the cemetery, his chocolate eyes searching for the bouquet he saw Horatio with earlier. He wasn't quite sure if it was luck or not when he spotted the flowers right away. His long legs strode over the headstones towards the spot of red in the distance.

Although there was some comfort in the knowledge that Horatio presumably got the roses to his late wife's grave, Rick's heart sunk at the realization that this is nothing more than a dead end for him. If the roses were scattered and on a random grave, it would say something. This didn't.

Slowly, Rick made his way back towards Horatio's car, looking desperately around for any blatantly obvious signs of a struggle. Something that would give him the faintest idea of a direction would be helpful. Nothing was out of place.

He was left staring at the road, winding around the tombs and out of the graveyard. A wind caught him, brushing over his arms and pulling lightly on his clothes. With a wince he leaned forward for a long moment, his stomach clenched and reminded him of how hungry he was. It had been about a day since he had last eaten, and although he wasn't tired, his eyes and joints begged for rest. Despite his attempts to fight off the fatigues that would plague him, his body was slowly succumbing to them.

_Horatio_.

Wearily and with his stomach still stabbing at him in demand of sustenance, Rick pulled himself over to Marisol's grave once again. He pulled an unused tissue from his pocket, covering his hand as he lightly searched for any note his fiancé would have left. There was none.

He sat.

"Marisol?" he said softly, looking over at the headstone, "I know you don't know me. You've never met me. You may have heard things about me, horrible things." Rick stopped and bit at his lip, not sure of what he wanted to say or even why he was talking to her. "I don't know if they're true or not, but… I know how much you meant to Horatio, so I think you have the right to know what's going on."

Rick's eyes drifted down to the bouquet of roses that was resting next to him. "I know it may not be love or family as most people would imagine it, but Horatio and I are engaged. He means the world to me and I'd do anything to make him happy, even if it means him instead of me." Rick stopped for a moment to think about this statement. "It may not be the wisest or even the healthiest of loves, but it's honest. Horatio… well you know how Horatio is. How wonderful it feels to be by his side. How brilliantly his eyes shine in the evenings. How passionately he can hold you. Everything about him, to me, is just so perfect that it makes me want to do anything for him. Just… his love is all that matters anymore."

A stronger breeze caught him, ruffling his hair slightly and making the flowers rustle. "I wish I could give you some comfort. To tell you that he'll be in good hands from now on. But I honestly don't know anymore. He didn't come home last night, Marisol. I don't know if he is putting an end to everything, or was taken, or had left me; and I hate to admit it, but I know that the latter would hurt most of all. I'm not the easiest person to love, I know that. Maybe if I didn't need so much goddamn attention and physical affection, we might not be in this situation. I want to be a better person for him, really I… I love him.

"I hope you can understand."

Rick took a deep breath, feeling a little stronger now. He lifted himself to his feet, his eyes locked on the grave and the roses. Unsure of how to part, Rick simply nodded respectfully at the headstone before he walked back towards Horatio's car, hoping to find something new. It was still a long moment before something metallic caught his eye. The glare of the sun on a cell phone screen.

It took all of Rick's self-control not to pick up Horatio's phone. The screen had a large crack on it and was badly scratched. It looked like it was a lot more damage than what a simple fall onto grass would be. Just to be sure, Rick pulled out his own phone and dropped it. Nothing; but at least this time it was going somewhere. Frantically looking for more answers, he looked around. The only thing that could have possibly done such a number on the phone, assuming it was from a fall, was if it skipped off the metal plate grave marker a yard or so away. What's more, the two points hinted at it being a projectile from the road, although not from a point near Horatio's car. Never in his life had Rick known Horatio to get to the point of throwing things, so this had to be from someone else.

Rick climbed back into his car and headed towards security. Maybe he would come back after grabbing something to eat, that would at least stop him from thinking about food every few seconds. Hopefully the service building would be open.

oOoOo

The security office was in sight when Rick's legs started to give out. Everything was aching worse with each minute, he could hardly think, let alone stand. Exhausted, he stumbled into a wall, sliding down onto the floor. A high-pitched whistle began to drone in his ears and spots danced in the air. Chocolate eyes widened in panic as he realized that he was only able to breathe in heavy gasps and his heart was beating faster than he could count.

"Hey, are you alright?"

The voice came from down the hall, although Rick couldn't look up. He was afraid that if he moved at all it would upset his stomach enough to make him vomit. He moaned softly in acknowledgement.

"Sir? What happened?"

A man with long brown hair and soft blue eyes knelt down in front of Rick. An obviously worried expression was visible from behind steel-rimmed glasses. Rick's eyes drifted closed for a moment as a hand was gently laid on his shoulder.

"I…" he whispered to the man, "I don't…"

"Hey, it's alright. Just sit here and I'll get you some water."

"O…kay…" Rick groaned, watching the spots vanish and the man run off into a nearby office. It wasn't long before he came back and water was lifted to Rick's lips. "Thank you."

"Yeah," the man nodded, his features becoming a little clearer to the IAB sergeant. His plastic nametag read Teddy. "Hey, if you have low blood sugar or something..."

"No, I just kind of haven't eaten in a while," Rick shrugged, taking the cup. "I'm looking for someone. My… a friend. He disappeared last night, I guess while he was visiting with his late wife. I just need to get to security and ask a few questions.

"I work security here. But are you sure you're alright? I have some food in my office if you need some."

"If it's not too much trouble," the IAB sergeant shrugged as he was led down the hall and into the office.

There were a few screens with footage of the two main entrances into the cemetery, along with several that were shots of the service building. Rick smiled at the realization that the cameras would get a clear view of any license plate, maybe even the driver.

"Legally I'm afraid there's not much I can do," the man said bluntly as he dug into his lunch bag and tossed Rick a green apple. "But I'll try. Sit down and tell me what's going on."

"Thanks," Rick said again before he relaxed onto a leather couch. The soft fabric pulled his tired body into the cushions, "he left last night to visit his late wife. He's… well… he's in a bit of trouble. Not with the police, in fact, he's an officer. So am I. We're coworkers. That's beside the point. He's been having trouble with some… bad blood threatening him recently. I'm really worried that something's happened. Already told the police. And his car's still here, so-"

"-sir," Teddy interrupted. "Calm down, I don't want you to faint. Eat the apple. I'll review the footage and tell you if I see anything suspicious."

Rick paused. "Are... are you sure?"

"Yeah. But only because I know who he really is to you."

"Excuse me?"

"You two... you're lovers. I can tell by the way you talk about him."

Rick was about to object, but the look of sincerity in the younger man's eyes. It was that or his senses wanted him to believe it was there. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure. Eat while you wait. You may not want to, but you must be starving."

Rick took a deep breath before nodding and trying to pull himself together. His jaw ached from being clenched for so long, making biting into an apple more painful than he ever knew it could be.

_God… I really need to pull myself together._

oOoOo

"I'm pretty sure we're needed at the labs."

"Calleigh and Natalia can take care of things, Eric," Ryan said, turning down the road that led to the cemetery. "And I thought that you would enjoy investigating Stetler."

"I don't want anything to do with Stetler, especially with what I know he's… _doing_ with H."

Ryan glanced over at him for a moment before focusing on the road again. "You're really hung up on this gay thing, aren't you?"

"Just… with H it's not right. Horatio's not gay."

"And you really need to grow up."

"I just mean," Eric pressed on, "that Horatio isn't… _effeminate._ He's a real man. He's though. Horatio's been through a lot. He's not into this… this… this hand holding bullshit. And even if he was gay, there's no way that he would let Stetler be the man in the relationship. And Horatio wouldn't just give up because I… his Hummer… look, he isn't some sort of overly sentimental fa-"

"-don't say that word."

"It's what he is."

"I don't care, Eric."

oOoOo

"Sir?"

Rick looked up. He must have dozed off on the couch. A half-eaten apple was held in a loose grip and a water cooler cup was resting on the arm of the sofa. The clock on the far wall said that he had only been asleep for ten minutes. He got to his feet.

_I should have been up and looking for him. What the hell was I thinking?_ "Yes?"

"From what I could find on the cameras," Teddy said, looking over the monitors one last time. "There were two vehicles that entered the park last night after the black Mercedes Benz you described. The Mercedes Benz entered at 6:37. At 6:45 a white GMC Savana cargo van came in and left at 7:12. At 12:23 a green Buick Lacrosse entered; it left at 12:33."

Rick nodded thoughtfully, knowing that he couldn't ask for much more than what was given. Not even plate numbers were at his disposal. However…

"The GMC," Rick muttered, rubbing the bridge of his nose in thought, "which direction did it leave in?"

"Sir. I know he really means a lot to you and you don't want to go away empty handed. But-"

"-humor me."

Teddy sighed and gave him a small nod. "The van turned left… it headed North."

Rick gave him a small smile. "Thank you. I… I don't have any money on me aside from small change. I wish I could thank you properly."

"It's alright, sir," the younger man said, opening the door for Rick. "I just hope you find him."

Rick gave him a weary smile as he left.

_I hope I find him in one piece._


	23. Monster

**Chapter Twenty-Three: Monster**

The ring left odd and distinct little crinkles from the inside of the small packet Anton had made for it. His hasty decision to put it up for a 24 hour auction got surprisingly few hits and no bids. They had discussed melting it down, but the idea was quickly abandoned in favor of the more immediate issue of what to do with Horatio. A large pantry off the kitchen was turned into their headquarters. Allen was editing the video while Anton pulled a beer bottle out of his cooler.

He laughed to himself. "This house is huge"

Allen looked over his shoulder and cocked an eyebrow. "You just realized that?"

"I was just thinking about the size of this pantry," he snarked back, taking a swig. "Those millionaire bastards must have lost everything in the recession. Serves them right."

Dennis shrugged, putting the ring he was examining down. "Just when they start to think they're untouchable." He looked over at Anton. "And be careful about fingerprints. You can't just go around touching everything."

"Will you shutup about fingerprints?"

"It's easier to remove them from the surface than to remove them from your hand."

"Yeah," Cruz said with a curl of his lip. "Your father knew a lot about that, didn't he?"

"Leave him out of this!" Dennis snapped, glaring at him and clenching his teeth. "You don't know him."

"I bet your daddy _really_ loved you."

"Fuck you, you prick! At least mine knew I existed."

"You little shit!"

"HEY!"

The two men turned to Allen, who had stopped editing the video to shout at them.

"Quit fighting," he snapped. "Dennis, get some food to Horatio. Anton, just drink your beer and shutup for two minutes."

Dennis looked Anton over, concluding for not the first time that getting into a fist fight wouldn't end well. He grabbed a bottle of water and an orange out of the cooler and left. Glaring after him, Anton sat back against the wall. Listening carefully, he waited for the sound of footsteps on the stairs.

"Allen?"

"Shutup, man. I'm serious."

"Yeah, yeah. Working on the video. I know."

Allen adjusted the picture slightly before he turned back. "Fine. What is it? And it better not be a stupid question."

"Why the hell do we keep him around?"

"You know why."

"I know he stalked Horatio for a while. But we don't really need him anymore. I mean," Anton stopped to nod upstairs, "why don't we… get rid of him?"

"Because, if we really want Horatio to wish he was dead, we need him."

Anton rolled his eyes. "I can do that, so can you."

"If we want Horatio to wish he was never born…"

oOoOo

As long as he didn't move his legs, it was almost tolerable. Horatio lay on the floor of the bathroom, most of his nude body against the cold tiles beneath him. Heavy ropes bound his hands and broken legs. The gag had remained off, for fear that he could give in and drown himself in his own nausea. Every breath he took in reminded him of the blood, vomit, and urine that covered him. Dull eyes rested half-closed as he stared at one of the white tiles that were yet untouched by his suffering. Sweat clung to his worn and burnt body, interrupting his thoughts increasingly more often to remind him that he needed to wash all this off of him.

His thoughts were scattered, unable to stay on one idea for long enough.

Blood.

Aidin.

Mother.

Murder.

Lie.

Ray.

Dead.

Brother.

Friend.

Gone.

God.

Nothing.

Speed.

Marisol.

Eric.

Faggot.

Genocide.

God.

Homicide.

Suicide.

Lost.

Forever.

Infinity.

Rick.

_Oh God, Rick…_

Footsteps.

_Love, I told you that I wanted to kill you once. I meant it. Could you forgive me?_

Up the stairs.

_It doesn't matter the intentions. We all reap what we sew._

Make it stop.

_I did something a long time ago, something that I don't even remember. It's why Aidin abused me. It's why Ray abused himself. Why my mother's dead. Why Speed's dead. Why Marisol's dead. I would ask what I did, but I probably don't deserve to know the answer._

Just outside the door.

_There is no God._

It was pushed open, the once dim light from the hallway flooded the small room.

"Quit crying."

For the first time in hours, Horatio let himself take in a small detail. A damp trail ran over the bridge of his nose and down his temple into a stray lock of hair. The light made his eyes burn. Breaths were ragged. Was he sobbing? He couldn't remember. His head felt like it was going to break open, a sickeningly persistent hammering assault in his forehead. Clenching, his empty stomach made his jaw quiver and eyes water. Bile started to rise up his reluctant throat.

"I brought you food. Sit up."

Hardly able to stay conscious without wanting to vomit, Horatio gave a small and hardly visible shake of his head.

"Sit up, you ungrateful bastard."

"_Ungrateful bastard."_

The wind was knocked out of his already quivering body. Tears spilled and something burning slid up the back of his throat. His back ached, it beginning to give up the idea of holding him together for much longer. Bare skin of his stomach felt the leather tip and rubber sole of Dennis' shoe. It continued to dig into him for a lingering moment before the young man reached down and pulled Horatio up by his hair, leaning him against the rim of the bathtub.

"You're pathetic."

"_You're pathetic." _

Horatio's bloodshot eyes refused to meet Dennis' when he pressed the open water bottle to his lips.

"_You're doing this to protect him, aren't you?"_

The water filled his reluctant mouth, spilling out and running down his chin, collecting under his jaw.

"_And that bitch of a mother you have."_

A drop led a path down Horatio's neck, into the gentle dip at the base, and in a lazy swerve down his chest.

"_I never wanted kids. Your mother wanted the family, not me." _

It cleared a trail on the way down his body, through the blood and sweat.

"_I hate her." _

Dennis pulled the bottle away and tilted Horatio's head back, making him choke and forcing him to swallow.

"_Because of you and your brother, I can't leave." _

His tight and aching throat made him tremble as the water slid down.

"_I hate being held down by this fucking marriage and your crying isn't making things any easier."_

The trail that slid down his body curved to his side and dripped onto the floor.

_I know I killed him because he told me who I really am. I didn't want to believe him. I thought I could make it just go away. God… I am pathetic._

Dennis grabbed Horatio's face and glared into dying eyes. "I said, look at me!"

He did. He had to.

"Do you know who I am?"

The firm grip kept Horatio from moving his head. Moist and trembling lips moved to form the word 'no', not enough breath in him to speak. He trembled, a blush sweeping up his neck and across his cheeks.

"My name is Dennis Otis."

The older man's lips formed the word 'Otis', trying to forget the stabbing pain that covered his legs so he could remember who Otis was. He couldn't.

"My father was Stewart Otis."

The name echoed with him although he couldn't place the face. He had a vague memory of the name rolling off his tongue and into the police radio. As he looked into Dennis' eyes he thought he saw something familiar, someone who bared his soul.

"You're why he killed himself."

Someone who did more than he could possibly forgive.

"You called him a pedophile, you son of a bitch."

_Him_.

"You didn't have to live with it, but_ I_ did," David growled, giving Horatio a harsh shake. His blue eyes flashed and his teeth clenched as he glared at the older man. "Didn't you think it was hard enough for me when they got divorced and he had to live in that shitty little cabin?"

A shack with a cemetery of unmarked graves behind it.

"You _know_ what happens to in prison to men who you label as pedophiles! You _have_ to know that. Everyone knows that. You sent him straight to _hell_."

He tore little girls' clothes off and dragged them into back alleys.

"Mom wouldn't let me see him, I had to skip school to visit my own _father_," Dennis growled. "Did you see the bruises he was always covered with? What about his broken arm?"

Him.

"He was a human being, for Christ's sake!"

"He was a monster."

Horatio's voice was hoarse and barely above a whisper, but Dennis heard him. Blue eyes flashed angrily at the redhead before Dennis' fingers clasped onto Horatio's throat. He could only wish he had the strength to pull away. Behind his eyelids in brief flashes of light, Horatio could see his father again.

"You didn't know Dad like I did."

_Aidin gripped onto the small redheaded child's arms, pinning him to the wall. The pained and helpless cries of "daddy" fell on deaf ears as finger-shaped bruises were pressed into the boy. His vision blurred with tears while he smelt liquor on the man's breath._

"He was my father."

Another moment.

_Horatio gently cradled Raymond's head to his shoulder, feeling his younger brother tremble. Behind the locked door they could hear the unmistakable sound of leather snapping against skin. Shouting and sobbing came from the other side, the memories of seeing their bruised cut mother coming back to both the boys._

Dennis let go of Horatio's neck, glaring into bloodshot eyes. "You just always think you're judge, jury, and executioner… don't you?"

"I don't care how rough his life was," the redhead whispered, his chest heaving as he struggled to breathe. "How he took it out on those innocent little girls was unforgivable."

"You think you're God," Dennis hissed, gripping at red hair again, "don't you, you son of a bitch?"

Blinding starbursts flashed in Horatio's head as he was shoved into the porcelain lip of the tub. What he felt in his cracked temple was nothing compared to his legs. A deep and helpless cry spilled out of him as he was forced onto his knees.

"Isn't this a pretty picture? You know how many people want to see you like this?"

A camera shutter snapped. The throbbing pain in his legs was enough to make the ideas of dignity something very distant. The water that left its tracks down his body wasn't enough. His stomach ached with need. The pain in his legs was enough to keep his mind from even trying to escape. And he couldn't even move to wipe away the drop of blood and sweat that was sliding down the side of his face.

_Make it stop._

His chest tightened as he sobbed into the lip of the tub.

_Make it stop._

A camera shutter again, this time closer.

_Make it stop._

Completely helpless. He couldn't even feel human anymore.

"You know what they did?" Dennis crooned. "What they did to my father?" Horatio could barely hear him over the sound of the blood rushing though his ears. "I'm going to do the same thing to you."


	24. Heartbeat

**Chapter Twenty-Four: Heartbeat**

"_I don't expect many of you to know me," the young man announced, pacing between Horatio and the camera. "But I do expect the best of you to know who my …"_

Rick had managed to record the message onto his netbook before the AV labs could pull it off the internet. Desensitizing himself to the video was impossible, he had to cover part of the screen with his hand and enhance bass. The first few seconds were all he could tolerate to watch. In Anton's introduction, there was the sound of a car going over a pot in the road. But in contrast, there was an elaborate kick molding along the wall. It wasn't much to go on, but it was something.

Determined and swallowing another energy shot, Rick closed the netbook and pulled back onto the road. From the neighborhoods to the north of the cemetery, he had been weaving around mostly aimlessly. When he had first seen the beginning of the video, he knew that he was in the wrong sort of neighborhood. He began driving north about an hour ago, hoping that Horatio wasn't taken onto the highway and across the state.

_White van. Pothole. Expensive house, probably foreclosed. White van. Pothole…_

Paying no attention to the street names or his GPS, he kept an eye on the road itself, driving north until the pavement became cracked. He was out in the country and well out of Dade County. If it weren't for the larger and foreclosed homes, he would have been tempted to turn back. It was barely enough to make him think that there could be hope.

He turned down a street where the road became even more untended, even a little overgrown. Already he had seen a number of white vans, his heart jumping to his throat with each one. But they were all marked. Part of him was tempted to think that whoever abducted Horatio might have painted a logo onto the side of the vehicle. But now was no time to make assumptions. Investigating every van he could find would be through, but it would take up far too much time, he knew that.

In his anxiety, his driving leg began to tense. He reached down to rub it, only to have the memories of Horatio come rushing back. Before Rick proposed, he used to drive Horatio out of Dade so they could have dinner without worrying about being spotted. There were nights when Horatio simply rested his hand on Rick's thigh for the entire ride there and home. Then Rick would always put an arm around the older man, pulling him into a gentle embrace. To Rick, there was nothing in the world more peaceful than having Horatio fall asleep on his shoulder.

"Horatio…"

oOoOo

Sweat moistened the redhead's palms, the blood rushing though his ears as Dennis stood beside him. A solid twitch jumped his shoulder as he looked back at the younger man. The blonde glared as he looked down at Horatio, unbuckling his belt.

"P-please."

A sinister hiss came from his belt as the leather was dragged out of the denim loops. The coarse leather of his boots scratched Horatio's bruised skin as Dennis kicked his legs a little farther apart. He took his belt in his hands, folding it in half and snapping it against itself.

"Don't do this."

Tears filled his eyes again as a ragged cry cut through the small room in the wake of the sting of leather against flesh.

oOoOo

"Yeah, I haven't seen no redhead."

"Well," Rick sighed, backing towards his car, "thanks anyways." The honor system he was counting on bordered on futile, but there wasn't much of an option.

"How'd you say you knew him again?"

"My… brother-in-law."

"Hope you find him."

"Thanks."

Rick climbed back behind the driver's seat and looked down at his phone. There were no missed calls and a light blinking "low batt". For a moment he cursed himself for not paying just a little more for a car charger. The one time in his life he decided to be frugal. He did have the wall charger with him though.

_One more block_, he thought, turning the ignition, _then I find someplace to charge this. Maybe I should go home so they don't think I skipped town… but I need to find him_. He looked down. _I need to get gas for this thing too._

As he turned the corner he saw a house with a large, green dumpster sitting in front of it.

oOoOo

Surrender was the only route to survival. Horatio was locked inside his own body, clawing for a way to get out. The throbbing ache from his legs and inside his head was continuously interrupted by the belt. The bruises and burns that covered his body tormented him. Trying to escape only deepened the cuts that wrapped around his wrists. Even his throat hurt.

"Stop!" he choked. "What do you want? Just tell me what you fucking want!"

"It's too late for that," Dennis growled, letting the belt drop, the buckle clattering against the floor. "My father's dead you son of a bitch."

Heavy breaths made his body rise and fall as tears subsided. He forced himself to turn his head, just in time to watch Dennis pull a condom out of his pocket and tear it open.

"No," Horatio whispered, hardly able to breathe. "Don't do this, son."

"I'm not your fucking son."

"What did he do to you?"

Dennis paused, taking his fingers off his fly. "What?"

The older man swallowed hard. "Your father."

oOoOo

Rick startled slightly as his car hit a pothole. Obsessing over the white van was enough for him to begin to forget about it. He pulled in front of the house with the dumpster in the front yard. He was ashamed that he was almost ready to turn around and go home. When he vanished about a year ago, Horatio could have torn the city apart in just a few hours. Maybe Horatio just had higher stamina. Or perhaps it was just another element to love that was mythical, this sort of strength.

Shaking his head, Rick got out of the car and walked over to the white van. He never knew what to really look for in the van, they all looked the same inside and out. Sighing, he began looking for the driver.

"Hello?" he called out, looking to the side of the house before turning to the open door, showing a hint of a foyer. Dead leaves littered the tiled floor in a broken mosaic.

Rick took a deep breath, tentatively putting his hand on the door. Horatio had urged him before to carry a firearm with him, even going far enough to take him into a gun shop. If only he hadn't been so nervous around them, he could have been secure and Horatio wouldn't have had to worry about him as much as he had.

Swallowing hard, he stepped in.

oOoOo

"You think my father raped me?"

Horatio dragged in a shaky breath through trembling lips, looking up at him. "You can tell me the truth. I'll listen."

The rubber of Dennis' boot shoved into the small of Horatio's back. Another strained groan was pulled from him as the younger man pressed down on his broken body.

"You're just like those fucking social workers who came by after you arrested him," he muttered, disgusted. "How many times do I have to tell you people that _he isn't like that_?"

"He confessed to molesting those little girls, Dennis," Horatio choked.

"You made him!" He snapped, picking up his belt again. "I know how your interrogations work. Push anyone hard enough and they'll confess to anything. You think you're a savior. You're a sadist." A snap of the belt. "If you can make him say what you want him to, I can damn well do the same to you."

oOoOo

Unintelligible murmuring came from upstairs. Rick stood in the foyer, listening closely to the house over the sound of his pounding heart. His stomach turned to stone and his face paled as he heard two voices, closer than the others.

"A red Ferrari f430 Spider."

"Way to be conspicuous. Flight out to Grand Cayman."

"Grand Cayman? C'mon, man. Vegas! That's what I'll do next: go to Vegas."

"I want to take care of my money. Start a bank account there. Dennis is doing the same."

"You're pathetic, you know that?"

"You're in idiot; I hope I've made that clear."

Rick swallowed and inched his way towards the voices, approaching the kitchen. It looked like it was recently lived in, but abandoned in a hurry. The toaster and the blender were still plugged into the wall. The pantry door was wide open, but at enough of an angle so that Rick couldn't see into it. Although his instincts were telling him to get the hell out of there, he took a small step into the kitchen and slowly pulled open the closest drawer to him. The glare that came out of it was almost enough to make Rick close it and run without even registering what he was looking at. A cheese grater was the first thing he saw, then a pizza cutter, and finally, a butcher's knife. Decisively, he took it and closed the drawer.

"Say it!"

Rick froze before realizing that the voice came from upstairs. Whoever was in the pantry either didn't hear it or was unfazed, as there was no reaction. His shoes making no sound on the old carpet, Rick made his way over to the stairs.

oOoOo

"Say it, you worthless shit!"

A choked gasp came out of Horatio as red welts once again formed over his bruises. Dennis' shouting was only just enough to cover the sound of the belt.

"Why is it so hard for you to admit you were wrong?" Dennis cried, letting the belt dangle at his side. "Don't you get it, asshole? That's all I want! Allen wants the money you would bring in. Anton wants the reputation this would give him. I just want you to admit that once, _just once_, you fucked up. Dad's _dead_, Horatio! He won't even get the privilege to hear it, but you _have_ to say it! Doesn't he at least deserve some honesty?"

Horatio didn't even have the strength to turn his head and meet Dennis' eyes as he said, "Didn't those little girls he killed deserve to live?"

"Goddammit, Horatio!"

"Or at least die with some dignity?"

The buckle of the belt cracked against Horatio's spine hard enough to break the skin.

"This isn't me, Horatio," he sighed, his footsteps pacing across the small room. "I… I don't _hurt_ people. I don't get in fights. I'm not aggressive. But when someone starts on my family… I'm not left with much of an option. Just… what… can't you at least admit to the _possibility_ of you making a mistake? And I don't want to hear one more accusation. If I hear one more word of this _bullshit_, I… I think I'll have to kill you. I don't want to kill you. I got into this to hear you admit you're wrong, that's _it_.

"_I_ want out. _You_ want out. Once you admit that he was innocent, I'll leave. You'll never see me again, neither will Allen, and neither will Anton. I won't even stick around for the money. You just need to say one _simple_ thing, then I can go. And you… you'll at least go through this with the relief of admitting it to _someone_."

Horatio stared into the cracked porcelain of the bathtub. He winced as his weight began to settle on his knees.

"Say it."

Heavy eyelids closed slowly, the light making them ache.

"Horatio, say it."

Nothing.

"Say it, you asshole!"

Spots flitted in front of him as everything started to go numb. He could drift right through the floor and not even notice.

"You selfish bastard, just admit you were wrong!"

The weight felt like it could kill him as he slowly shook his head.

Furious, Dennis slid the leather strap across Horatio's throat, looping it into the buckle. With a solid tug, Horatio was lifted up and onto his knees. He was shoved against the rim of the tub, this time his thighs pressed against the lip.

"Fuck you, Horatio," he growled, watching the older man choke as he weakly tried to free himself from the ropes and belt. "Why the hell are we supposed to fear you? Why are you 'justice'? You're nothing but a pathetic bastard hiding behind a badge and a gun. You don't know what it's like on the other side! You cops are all corrupt."

Horatio's eyes couldn't focus as he stared at the white tile wall in front of him. There wasn't even enough strength in him to let another tear fall. He couldn't breathe. Something pointed and metallic dug into a side of his throat. A bright flash of light blurred his straining vision.

"I gave you your chance."

Blood painted the walls.


	25. Stay With Me

**Chapter Twenty-Five: Stay With Me**

"Stay with me."

A feeling of closeness made itself clear moments before stubble gently brushed against his cheek and a soft breath ghosted onto his shoulder.

"Horatio, I love you."

Slowly, Horatio became aware that his hands were resting limply on his chest and stomach, writs aching from the ropes that once held them.

"It's over," Rick whispered, "you're safe now."

_Where am I?_

Forcing his eyes to open slightly, Horatio saw and felt deep brown hair brush against the side of his face. Large and warm hands lovingly held and supported the side and back of his neck.

"Breathe."

Eyes closing again, Horatio inhaled the warm, stale air that surrounded him. As his lungs filled, his body pressed against cold and wet tile. A sense of dread forced itself to knot in his throat and made his chest tighten. His lips moved to form Rick's name, but nothing came out. Weakly, he turned his head and tried to capture Rick's mouth.

"Don't move, love. Don't move," Rick said softly before gently kissing Horatio's bloodied lips. "I'll get you to the hospital… somehow. I know one of your CSIs was following me earlier, they'll be here soon."

"Rick," Horatio muttered breathlessly, his eyes still not willing to open completely, "what…?"

"He's gone. He's gone now, Horatio. He's not going to hurt you."

Struggling to open his eyes again, Horatio let his head roll lazily to the side. The first thing he saw was a glimpse of something red and metallic. Rick gently cradled his neck before leaning down to kiss his cheek.

"Rick?"

"He's gone."

Horatio let his soft blue eyes slowly drift closed, lightly rubbing his face against the familiar abrasion of Rick's stubble. Near his ear the older man could feel lips moving. In the fog of his memory he would remember something about being lucky to be alive, a blur of syllables that turned into incoherent mumbling. The heat of Rick's body warmed Horatio's chest, making him realize just how cold he was lying on the floor.

"The others?" he mumbled, wanting nothing more than to be lifted off the stained tile.

"I'll protect you," Rick assured him, although the uncertainty in his voice gave him away. Yet he was comforting.

The younger man looked down as he felt a hand softly fall onto his arm. Horatio's deathly pale hand gently caressed him, as much of a beg to be picked up and held as his pride could allow. Gently letting go of Horatio's neck, Rick adjusted his position so his fiancé could be pulled onto his lap.

He rested his head on Rick's shoulder. "I'm cold."

oOoOo

Ryan pulled up behind Rick's car, Eric looking critically out the window at the house.

"He's been leading us around in circles all day," he said to Ryan with a sideways glance.

"And he's strayed too far from Miami. Right now we need to bring him home before he does something drastic."

"I can't believe that we need that asshole to find Horatio."

"Eric," the younger CSI warned as he killed the engine and approached the house. "Just come on, I'm supposed to be keeping an eye on you."

"What if I don't?"

"Right now you're just being childish. Get the fuck out of the car and come over here. Christ. Are you like this to Calleigh to?"

"I'm not trying to start a fight," Eric explained, getting out of Ryan's car and slamming the door behind him. "I just don't want to see that creep. You know he forced Horatio to do this?"

Ryan had already reached the door as he shot Eric a look over his shoulder. "We'll have time for conspiracy theories when we get back to the labs. Right now, we have a job to do. Cover me or else I'll have to go in alone."

Eric pulled out his gun as he followed Ryan in, his eyes wandering around the abandoned house. It smelled of mold and beer, broken bottles shoved into the corners. Somebody tried to clean up. He followed Ryan a little closer.

"Miami-Dade Police!" Ryan called out into the silent house as he stepped into a small dining room.

Eric stepped onto the tiled floor of the kitchen, his dark eyes sweeping over the counters, more broken bottles, and an ajar pantry door.

"Ow! Fuck! Fuck!"

The cry came from upstairs. Eric and Ryan exchanged glances before rushing to the steps.

oOoOo

"I'm sorry, Horatio. I'm sorry".

Tears slid down his already wet cheeks and dropped onto his chest. Horatio dug his teeth into his lip to stifle his cries. His hands reached helplessly towards his knees. Rick pressed his lips against his neck and shoulder.

"I'm sorry. I won't pick you up that way again."

"It's not your fault," Horatio assured him, his voice cracking as his body trembled.

"Maybe I can-"

"-No. We'll need Ryan. Balance me between the two of you. The only challenge would be the height difference. That or else the paramedics on a stretcher. Just… my legs can't move. And he's here now so just…"

Rick looked sadly down as Horatio reached for his arms again. He gently pulled him into an embrace, resting against the wall and trying to shield Horatio from seeing Dennis' body. He felt his fiancé's muscles tighten as there were footsteps on the stairs. Instinctively he moved between Horatio and the door, kissing his forehead before he reached for the knife and stood. His grip tightened as the door opened and he looked down the barrel of a gun.

The blade fell to the floor with a clatter as he looked down into hazel eyes.

"Rick, what the hell is going on?" Ryan whispered steadily and calmly.

"I heard Horatio," Eric added, keeping his gun drawn and pointed as he met Rick's eyes.

"He's right here, he's safe," Rick assured them, his shoulders remaining tense as he balled his fists.

"What'd you do to him?" Eric demanded, not putting his gun down.

A harsh flush covered Rick's cheeks as he glared steadily at Eric. Ryan looked over his shoulder and gently urged Eric to calm down and put the gun away. Horatio tried to speak up, but the only sound that came out was a low moan.

"You have blood on your hands," Ryan said softly, his eyes glancing between Rick and the knife on the floor.

"The the fuck did you do to him?" Eric demanded, not making any move to settle down.

"I saved his life you ignorant bastard," Rick growled, wiping the blood onto his pants. "That prick would have killed him if I didn't do anything. I'd like to hear what the fuck you were doing when he needed you."

"Rick," Horatio whispered, looking up with swollen eyes. The younger man took a deep breath and gave Eric one last glance before going to his fiancé's side.

"The body's in the tub," Rick whispered as he put an arm around Horatio. "I would have done more but I didn't want to draw attention up here.

Ryan stepped into the bathroom, Eric following him but weary to take his eyes off of Rick. The body looked like it was simply dropped into the tub, his arms limp and contorted in his awkward position. He was shirtless; a white and deep red mass of cloth was wadded up and left on his back. A pool of blood had formed around his figure, a line trailing off into the drain. Red had stained the dingy porcelain in a messy track leading from a diluted pink stain on the floor

"Rick," Ryan said softly, turning to him, "did you kill him?"

Horatio's eyes slowly drifted shut as he rested his head on the younger man's shoulder. Rick's fingers tangled in sandy red hair, cradling his lover's head. He nodded and whispered softly, "I did."

Eric took a step towards Rick. "He's just a kid you sick fuck."

"Eric," Ryan said sternly.

The four men looked down as they heard a door slam from the ground floor.

"Who else was here?" Rick whispered into Horatio's hair.

"Two others," Horatio muttered, "that was probably them running out.

Eric opened his mouth to say something, but Ryan gave him a stern look of warning. Without breaking his focus on Eric he wondered aloud, "where are your clothes, Horatio?"

The redhead looked up for only a second before closing his eyes again. "I don't know."

"All things considered," Rick spoke up, "shouldn't we be getting him to a hospital?"

"You should have carried him out once you found him," Eric snapped, turning back to Rick. "But instead you wasted valuable time cleaning up a body!"

"We're wasting valuable time _now_," Ryan clarified. "Rick, did you call an ambulance?"

"I couldn't, my phone died. I was planning on driving him, but I can't pick him up without moving his knees. I don't want to make things worse."

"You already have."

"Eric," Ryan growled, "shutup. I don't have service or any type of connection out here, so we'll have to take him. Rick, help me pick him up, we can carry him out if he has one arm around each of us."

"Actually," Horatio murmured, looking up again, "Eric can help Rick carry me; it would be balanced that way. You can cover us, Mr. Wolfe."

Ryan nodded before nudging Eric towards Horatio. Deep brown eyes glared resentfully down at Rick, but he sat at Horatio's opposite side. There was something brotherly and familiar in the way Horatio lifted his arm up around Eric's shoulder, despite a hesitant moment of resentment as he uncensored himself. Eric watched as Horatio let his head fall forward lazily as Rick adjusted his position. Blue eyes looked over at him.

"Don't hate Rick," Horatio whispered, leaning in towards Eric. "He didn't ask to be misunderstood."

Rick looked over. "Ready? Lift on three."

Horatio took a deep breath and nodded, trying to remind himself that it would have to get worse before it got better. Pain shot up from his legs as he was uncoordinatedly lifted. The dizzying sensation nearly made him black out as his weight was shifted to his arms. Eric was holding him up under his arms, his fingers leaving bruises as they pressed into his ribs. The pressure of Rick's arm around his waist and the feeling of their sides pressed together comforted him.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"You didn't do anything wrong," Rick assured him. "It's almost over now."

Eric and Rick carried the older man out the door and into the hallway, Ryan leading them with his weapon drawn. The young CSI went down the stairs first.

"Miami-Dade Police!" Ryan shouted, taking aim.

Allen looked at the door, then Ryan, then the gun. He lowered his laptop bag to the ground and raised his hands. "I'm not saying anything until I get my lawyer."

"I bet," Ryan growled, approaching him. "If you had anything to do with this you'll be needing one." He reached out and grabbed Allen's wrist, wrenching it behind his back.

"Ow! What the hell?"

"Don't you complain," Ryan said darkly as he cuffed him. "I saw what you did to Horatio."

"That _wasn't_ me, okay?"

"Bullshit."

"I want my lawyer."

"You'll get your goddamn lawyer." He took a firm grip on Allen's collar and pointed him to the door. "All clear, H."

Horatio didn't have the strength to look up as he was carried onto the ground floor. Ducking his head, Rick spoke to him.

"It's almost over. You're going to get help."

"H goes in Rick's car," Ryan spoke up as he led Allen out.

Eric sighed and tried to keep Horatio balanced despite Rick's pronounced height advantage.

"Don't hate Rick," Horatio whispered again.

A door opened behind them.

"Go to Hell, Caine!"

There was a gunshot and Horatio fell limp against Rick's body. Eric let go as he turned around, drawing his gun. Anton stood there, staring at Horatio's body and holding a revolver in his hand. He looked up at Eric.

Another gunshot and Anton was on the ground.

Ryan rushed in.

"Call an ambulance!" Eric shouted at him, walking over to Anton and firing an extra round into his head.

"Horatio?" Rick murmured, guiding him to the floor.

Ryan rushed out of the house. Eric looked over at Rick, his hands still on the gun. "Stetler."

Horatio's breaths were soft and ragged. The bullet wound on his chest near his right shoulder bleeding profusely.

"Stay with me," Rick whispered, resting a hand over Horatio's heart. "We'll get you to the hospital."


	26. Family

**Chapter Twenty-Six: Family**

Rick pulled his knees to his chest as he sat on one of the uncomfortable chairs in a small lounge near the operating room. He drifted in and out of consciousness, falling asleep and jolting back awake as his head dropped forwards. A nurse had brought him some food and a coffee after he refused to go home, the empty cup and a half-eaten sandwich sitting on a small table next to him. Distraction from the television in the corner wasn't doing much good.

He shifted uncomfortably, his entire body aching and needing to lie down. Looking down he saw the traces of blood caught in the cervices of his hands. A distinct coldness blew over his body as he remembered it. In his years as an officer he had never taken a life, even when using lethal force could have been necessary. The subject of death had always been more of a logic puzzle to him, something he could distance himself from when he needed to. But he couldn't anymore.

_It was his life or Horatio's_, he told himself. But the reality was never that simple. That boy might have had potential if he lived long enough to find someone who would have given him the chance. He might have just stopped with a simple threat or even Rick's presence. There was a line that was crossed somewhere and anyone in his situation would have reacted the same way. He was just a boy.

_With what he had done, you had every right to act as you did._

Nobody has that right, Rick thought back at himself. There easily could be someone out there who loves him as much as I love Horatio. Someone whose life I destroyed in collateral. Someone completely innocent.

Rick looked up as he heard the nearby elevator open.

"He was shot clean through the shoulder. ER got the bleeding under control and he was seen as stable enough to begin surgery on his shoulder and both legs. What that poor baby went through… he's strong though."

_Alexx?_ Rick stood and wandered towards the voice.

"Dr. Woods, what's the best we could hope for?"

"With several months of physical therapy, full recovery of his shoulder. He's looking at six months in leg casts for his fractured tibia. Again, therapy will determine if he would be able to walk as he used to."

"Once he is stable enough he's to come home with me, Alexx."

"Mom, what about Rick?"

"I thought I told you that we're not going to talk about him anymore."

Alexx startled as she rounded the corner nearly ran into the older man. Yelina, Ray, and Kyle looked at him from over her shoulder.

"Once he's stable enough," Rick said steadily, "I hope he will be able to come to his own conclusions."

Yelina forced half of a laugh. "You like thinking he's yours, don't you? It's time you stop being so selfish and do what's best for him. He needs his _real _family now. This hospital won't even let you in his room."

"I found him, Yelina."

"You're why it happened."

"That's not true!"

"What the hell is going on here?" Alexx demanded, looking between Rick and Yelina. "You two need to keep it down or take it outside before you upset someone. Ray and Kyle, you boys can go wait in the lounge. Yelina, take a walk. Sergeant, come with me."

Hardly giving his mother a second glance, Ray led Kyle over to the lounge. Yelina glared at Rick before she turned to walk back down the halls. The cold hostility between Yelina and her own son was well defined. Ray had grown up from the insecure little boy he was when Rick had to feign a heterosexual relationship. From what he remembered, he didn't think that it would be easy to drive the two of them so far apart.

Alexx led Rick down the hall and into the stairwell before she turned to him. "Sergeant Stetler, I am not out to undermine you. I am no longer part of MD-PD, but I need to ask you one question: what are you doing here? You have a job to do for IA, I can understand that. But to… to just sit out here and confront Yelina like you did… Horatio is in the middle of a very vital operation, he could lose his legs if things go wrong. He could be confined to a wheelchair for the rest of his life. I can't just let you stalk around here and make things more difficult than they already are."

He tensed, not sure if she would even try to believe him. "I'm sorry; we never thought you would find out this way. At first he just needed to tell his family and who he works with. He was going to tell you right after, but when he saw how they reacted he got scared out of it. I told him to let things calm down first before he was going to tell anyone else. I thought it would be easier on him."

"'Right after'?" she echoed, crossing her arms and looking him over critically. "Sergeant, what are you talking about?"

Rocking lightly on his heels, Rick searched for the right words. "Horatio, when he was brought in he had a ring."

"A ring? He didn't have any- what are you trying to say?"

"He… he didn't?"

"No, he didn't. Was he supposed to? What happened that kept him from telling me what?"

"Are you absolutely positive that he didn't have any ring?"

"The ring doesn't matter!"

"_Of course it does! We're engaged!_"

Alexx opened and closed her mouth a few times before looking Rick over again. Running his hand across his face, Rick absently scratched at his heavy stubble as he took deep breaths before making eye-contact with Alexx again. She slowly shook her head.

"No," she said decisively, "You and Horatio – no. Why… why would you even say something like that? What are you trying to pull?"

"He wanted to tell you, but his team didn't take the news well and he didn't want to lose everyone so quickly. I told him to wait. We were going to. I just never thought that things would… get like this."

"No, I don't believe it," Alexx whispered, shaking her head. "You… You're not romantically involved with Horatio!" Rick bit at his lip when he heard her voice crack slightly on Horatio's name. Her eyelashes moistened. "Why would you say that? I might lose a good friend and-"

"-Horatio's a good man," Rick interrupted, his breath catching as she looked back up at him. "Isn't he?"

"Of course he… he's always been-"

"And he gave me a chance with him. I've loved him for years. I…" he sighed sadly, wishing he could put a hand on her shoulder, "I love everything about him. And he was strong enough to see me for who I am… not what IA makes me out to be. And what's more, he trusted me with his heart."

"So… the two of you are… together?"

Rick nodded. "We've been together for about a year now. I asked for his hand last Friday and… it was granted to me. The ring must have fallen off when he was taken."

"So… oh… Yelina isn't taking it very well, is she?"

"She's not," Rick affirmed before furrowing his brow slightly. "Don't think less of Horatio because of me. He's still the same man he always was."

"I don't think any less of Horatio. I… I just didn't know he was…"

A soft smile crossed Rick's lips. "And he thought he was so obvious. I suppose between Julia and Marisol nobody thought that he was bi."

Alexx gave him a half-smile before she turned to open the door to the stairwell.

"Alexx?"

"Hmm?"

"What Yelina said about this hospital and visitation…"

"Don't worry about it, baby" she cooed. "No self-respecting nurse or doctor would enforce that bigoted thing."

oOoOo

Perched on another uncomfortable chair, Rick waited outside of Horatio's room. Kyle had gone in about a half-hour ago and Rick wanted to give him some time alone with his father. Apparently Horatio was still drowsy and the heavy medication he was held under kept him from focusing, but Kyle wanted to get time in before Yelina would come back from dinner with Ray.

All the coffee and energy shots that Rick took earlier were beginning to catch up with him. He wasn't even quite so sure how he held on to consciousness for long enough to hear the footsteps come down the hallway.

"Stetler."

"Eric," he murmured, looking up at the younger man, "how are you holding up?"

"I've been better." He looked over the closed door to Horatio's room. "Is he awake?"

Rick nodded. "Kyle's in there."

Eric stared at the door a little longer before turning his attention back to Rick. "You'll be happy to know that Horatio's case is being handled by night shift."

"That's good," Rick mumbled as he leaned against the wall, "it's one less thing Ratner's lawyers could turn against us."

"I guess."

The two men stood in silence for a moment.

"So, you dropped by to check on him?"

"What? Oh, yeah," Eric nodded, not wanting to look at Rick again. "And… night shift says that Horatio can have the ring back."

He handed Rick a small baggie with the gold ring resting in a corner. The diamond caught one of the florescent lights as Rick reached out to take it. Rick gave it a long look before clutching it to his chest.

"Thank you."

"That one who shot Horatio tried to sell it," Eric nodded. He turned his attention back to the door for a moment before he heard footsteps. Yelina was looking distracted down at her phone, Ray trailing behind a few yards. "I should get going. Are… are you going to be okay here?"

Rick nodded, not saying anything as his eyes began to drift closed.

"Alright, I gotta get going now."

"Horatio forgives you."

Eric stopped. "What?"

"For the 'faggot' thing. Horatio forgives you."

His eyes closed, Rick just heard Eric's footsteps fade as Yelina's approached.

"Is Horatio awake?" she asked coldly as she approached the room.

"Yeah, I let Kyle in first".

"I'm honestly surprised that the hospital would even let you wait out here, this space is supposed to be reserved for his real family."

"Mom," Ray grumbled.

She opened the door and went in, Ray standing outside and making no move to follow her.

"Ray? Are you coming?"

"If… if Rick can't go in, I'm not going in."

"Ray!" she snapped, "He's not well. This could be the last time that you could see your uncle!"

"Then let him see Rick," Ray snapped back.

"It's not the same. Come here and don't argue with me. As long as you live under my roof you live by my rules."

"I don't care about your rules."

Yelina blinked before taking half a step back into the hallway. "Excuse me?"

He took a deep breath. "I said I don't give a _fuck_ about your rules!"

The door slammed. Ray sat down next to Rick.

"You didn't have to do that," the older man murmured sleepily.

"I think I did."

"And you know your mother only is doing what she believes is best for everyone."

"Do you believe that?"

"I believe it, but that doesn't mean I agree with it."

"I don't agree with it either."

Big brown eyes looked up at Rick, a curl of dark brown hair dropping onto his face. He had his uncle's cheeks and turned up nose, but his father's jaw and eyes. His face was young, but not as innocent as it was when Rick was temporarily involved with Yelina. He would have kept pretending he was straight if it wasn't for Ray; it just didn't feel right lying to a little kid.

"So," Ray spoke up, "you're engaged to Horatio?"

"I am," Rick nodded, smiling faintly as he handed Ray the baggie. "Here's the ring. They took it from him when he was taken."

"How was he taken?"

"I don't know that yet, nothing for certain anyways."

"Oh…"

Rick yawned again and tried to adjust his position on the uncomfortable chair, taking the bag back as it was handed back to him. The arm dug into his back, making him give up fairly quickly and wonder if anyone would snap at him if he tried to sleep on the floor.

"Hey," Ray piped up, "erm…"

"Hmm?"

"Can I call you Uncle Rick?"

Rick smiled, resting his chin on his knees. "Of course."


	27. Recovery

**Chapter Twenty-Seven: Recovery**

It was about an hour until sunset in Key West. Far away from the crowds and street performers, Rick leaned on the railing overlooking the gulf. The scent of ocean mixed with the rum punch someone had spilled on the sidewalk. The wind ruffled his shirt as he watched a wave lap against the rocks.

"Rick? I'm going back to the bench."

Rick looked over at Horatio, shifting uncomfortably in his wheelchair. He rubbed the white casts that covered his legs up to a few inches past his knees.

"What's wrong?" Rick whispered, leaning against the railing. "Itchy? Hot? Do you need a Vicodin? Should we go back to the hotel?"

Horatio smiled and ducked his head. "No, I just can't see the horizon. The railing's in the way. And, trust me, it's not like I don't enjoy staring at your ass all the time; but I want to see your face."

Chuckling, Rick reached down and tussled Horatio's hair before taking the handles on the chair and pushing him over to the bench. Horatio adjusted his clothes and tried to grab at the wheels. It took a moment before he decided to relax and give Rick control. He still had a few months until he would be anywhere near independent, and he still needed to go through physical therapy.

Rick continued to watch the horizon, Horatio letting his fiancé's image sink in. His white shirt was halfway open, displaying his chest and the curve of his neck. It was rare to see Rick so dressed down when they were in public; it was enough to bring out traces of his innocence. His mole was like a star under his eye, pulling a smile out of Horatio. The denim clung to Rick's legs, reminding Horatio of how often they made love when their relationship was young.

He tapped on Rick's thigh. "Can I see again?"

"Hmm? Oh. Of course."

Reaching his left hand over his lap, he showed Horatio his new ring. The redhead smiled as he gently ran his thumb over the three diamonds set on the gold band. He had just picked it up from a Key West jeweler the day before and was still getting used to the weight of it.

"I forgot to tell you," Rick said, looking down into his fiancé's eyes, "Valera called this afternoon."

Horatio looked up. "What? When?"

"This morning, before you woke up," he answered, immediately biting at his lip when he saw the exasperated look Horatio gave him. "I couldn't wake you up. I know how hard it is for you to fall asleep and stay asleep, even with the drugs."

"It's these damn casts," Horatio grumbled, rubbing them again. "They're hot and itchy and cramp up my hips." His brow furrowed as he sighed, his fingertips sliding down his thigh as much as the cast could allow. "But… what did Valera say?"

"She just asked how you were holding up," Rick smiled, lifting Horatio's chin up to face him and pulled his hands away from the cast. "Offered to help out around the house when we get back."

Horatio smiled, feeling Rick's large hands cradle his. "Did you tell her about the ring?"

"I did. She made me send a picture to her, the one the jeweler took of us." Rick pulled out his phone and showed Horatio again. The redhead smiled knowingly, despite the drugs taking a toll on his short-term memory. "She asked me if we were planning on flying up to Boston and making it official once your legs heal."

Horatio chuckled, a smile crossing his lips and shining in his eyes. "Did you tell her?"

"I did. She sounded a little disappointed; I think she wanted to plan the ceremony".

"She'd have competition. Between her, Molly, Victoria, and Alexx…"

"She said that she understood though," Rick nodded. "That we wanted to wait until Florida…"

"I thought she would," Horatio smiled, squeezing Rick's hand.

Sighing happily, Rick moved closer to his lover and leaned against his good shoulder. His eyes drifted shut as their heads lightly touched. The breeze caught them again, mussing Horatio's hair and pulling at the fabric of the thin shorts he wore. Somewhere behind them they heard the shutter of a camera and voices murmuring.

"I want to go back to the hotel," Horatio whispered.

"Don't you want to stay for sunset?"

"People are staring at us out here. We can see the sun from the room. Besides, we saw most of the acts yesterday."

Rick nodded and gave him a small smile before getting up and taking the handles of the wheelchair again. Although he was a little irritated at being reminded of his handicap, Horatio relaxed into the chair and rubbed his right shoulder. He managed to convince Rick to let him wheel himself around for most of the day, the activity being a bit too much for his weaker arm.

That evening was a little colder than the night before, making Horatio all the more content going back to the room. A small girl with long black hair tugged on his father's shirt, pointing at the two men. The redhead sighed, knowing that he should be expecting this to last for a long time; even after the casts came off he and Rick would be something to stare at. The father pulled his daughter into his arms, picking her up while looking critically over at Horatio and Rick while he carried the girl to a juggler. As Horatio sat there he wondered if this bothered Rick as much as it did him. The girl waved at them over her father's shoulder. Horatio ducked his head and smiled at her, waving back.

_Cute kid_, he thought as Rick took him through the automatic doors, _I hope she grows up to understand…_

"Can we stop to get some rum punch?" Horatio asked, craning his neck back to look up at his fiancé. "I've been smelling it all day."

"You know you're not supposed to drink on your medication," Rick whispered back, rolling him past the bar.

"Rick-"

"-I let you have that champagne yesterday," the younger man smirked. "And I'm sure your doctor would think that was far too lenient."

"But-"

"-I'll make it up to you," he crooned as they got on the elevator. "I promise."

Horatio smiled to himself, looking down as he felt a warm and familiar hand gently squeeze his good shoulder. As he reached for Rick's hand, a sharp pain struck him right arm. Rick murmured a soft "it'll get better" as he took them to their suite.

Everything in the room was white and sea foam green, a gaudy palm frond pattern decorating the couch and comforter. The curtains were parted, opening the lounge out to the balcony. The king sized bed was made in the other room, framed elegantly with white sheer drapes hanging from the ceiling.

Horatio gasped as Rick collapsed a side of his wheelchair and picked him up, carrying him into the bedroom. With his good arm, Horatio clung onto his fiancé until he was set onto the bed.

"I'm not a complete invalid," the redhead commented as Rick circled the bed before crawling up beside him.

"I know." Rick put an arm around him. "But part of me likes taking care of you; waiting on you hand and foot."

"What about the other part of you?"

"The other part of me wants you to be happy and knows you hate it when I pamper you."

"I don't _hate_ it," Horatio corrected, immediately met with Rick's knowing smirk. "I just don't like feeling helpless. I don't think I could ever hate what you do."

The younger man smiled, opening his mouth to ask if he should open the curtains for the sunset, only to realize that he was too late and it was already twilight. Gently, he straddled Horatio's hips and looked into loving blue eyes. A contented sigh was pulled from Horatio as Rick ran his long fingers through soft red hair.

"Do you want to do the arm thing now?" Rick whispered, unbuttoning Horatio's shirt. His fingertips brushed slightly over the rough scar from the bullet on Horatio's right shoulder.

"I suppose so," he sighed, leaning back against the headboard as he felt his fiancé's lips press over the wound.

Rick sat back, every once in a while reaching out and adjusting Horatio when his bad shoulder moved out of synch with the rest of him. The rehabilitation exercises were becoming a little easier, but they were told that it might take a little longer because his lack of mobility kept him from his former everyday routine. As much as Rick hated knowing that Horatio was out on the field, he knew that Horatio would be crushed if he was pronounced unfit to operate a firearm. They would have to start going to the firing range once they got back to Miami.

"Don't strain yourself," Rick said gently, taking Horatio's arm and lowering it to his side, "You've already wheeled yourself around all day. Alexx said that that helps your flexibility."

"I still feel a little stiff."

"Lie down, let me help you relax."

Horatio gasped as Rick picked him up again and adjusted his position on the bed. A contented sigh escaped him as he felt his back elongate against the mattress. Rick stuffed a pillow under Horatio's head before stripping out of his shirt and pants, the redhead watching longingly. His soft blue eyes swept over Rick, drinking in the sight of the younger man's slender body. The muscles of brunette's arms were more pronounced than they once were, Horatio knowing that he was getting easier to lift. His heart was still able to flutter around in his chest when Rick lay down beside him.

"We don't have to do anything," Rick told him. "If you want to, we can just rest here."

"What makes you think I want that?" the redhead smirked, resting his right hand on his stomach and tucking his good arm behind his head.

Rick sighed, propping himself on an arm. "With what happened to you… Dennis."

"Rick, I told you."

"I know. I know," he nodded, worrying his lip. "But the first time I asked you were still waking up. And last night… I know I came on pretty strong and you felt obligated."

Horatio chuckled and shook his head.

"There was an open condom packet on the floor when I found you, love. I know that some people try to repress what happened. But you can't run from it or just deny your past. You press on and try not to let it kill you. I'm here if you need anything, Horatio. I love you. You can tell me anything."

"He was about to," Horatio admitted, not wanting to meet Rick's eyes and at the same time not wanting to turn away. "But he didn't. I asked him if his father ever abused him and he went back to beating me. Then you came in."

Rick sighed, reaching down and running his fingertips along Horatio's side.

"I wouldn't lie to you, Rick. I know you would understand better than anyone."

The younger man bit his lip, a knot securing itself in his throat. It was just a few nights ago when Horatio told him that the scars Mac gave him were still visible, but healing. He was beginning to regret bringing it up, closing his eyes lightly and pulling himself a little closer to his lover. As he did, Horatio turned his head and caught Rick's mouth in his.

"You know?" he whispered, nuzzling his nose against Rick's cheek and feeling his arms wrap around him. "I want… I need what we had last night. Because when I'm with you… when I'm with you, Rick, I don't feel the casts anymore. All I can feel is the bed beneath me, your body, and the air. Just comfort, love, and freedom claiming me until I feel that I can lift right off the mattress." A blush crossed his cheeks and he smiled at the memory. "It's all anyone could ever want from life and with you I have it. I feel like I have it with you more than I had with anyone else I've ever been with. And I know… I know that there are countless people who spend their entire lives looking for what we have. After so many years, I thought that I couldn't have this anymore. I still can't understand how I could have gone so long without finding you. The years I wasted not loving you…"

Rick smiled, kissing Horatio back before swinging a leg around his hips, straddling him. Large hands slowly rubbed his fiancé's chest; his dark brown eyes took in the sight of pale, freckled skin. A contented moan escaped Horatio as Rick leaned forward and had their chests touch. Again their lips met, the older man immediately opening his mouth to feel Rick's tongue caress his own. As they once again settled against each other's bodies, Horatio's weaker arm reached behind his fiancé and gently rested on the small of his back. They both moaned in need into each other's mouths, as if they would never again have the opportunity. A shiver and a surge of energy swept over them as their arousals rubbed through thin fabric.

Horatio gently pressed his hand against Rick's chest, separating their mouths. "I want to feel you inside me."

The blush that already coated the younger man's cheeks darkened. "Are you sure? I could ride you again if you want."

"I think you know what I want."

Rick sat up, still on the redhead's hips. Last night was the first they had sex since the incident. They decided that it would be best to restrain physical affections while Horatio was kept in the hospital. Once he was released, the painkillers had such an effect on him that Rick was reluctant to go any farther than oral.

"It's been a while," he noted, climbing off Horatio and getting their supplies out of his suitcase.

"I know."

Rick sat on the edge of the bed, the lubricant in his hand. "How do you want to...?"

"On my stomach," he said, already beginning to turn.

Rick's eyes swept over the gentle curve of his fiancé's back, his hands reaching out and gently tugging on the elastic band of Horatio's boxers. The soft cotton gently brushed against his casts as Rick stripped him before pulling off his own clothes. He sat on Horatio's thighs, drinking in the sight of his lover. The scar from the bullet wound marked his back, along with several old marks from his time in NY-PD. The younger man's hands gently ran down Horatio's sides.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I am."

"If you want me to stop-"

"-I won't," Horatio assured him, folding his arms under a pillow and looking over his shoulder. "Believe me."

A little nervous, Rick climbed off of him and gently spread his lover's legs. Horatio tried to lift his hips slightly, but Rick nudged them back down.

"Breathe," the younger man urged more to himself than to Horatio.

He slicked up two fingers and gently pressed them into Horatio's body, immediately feeling just how tight his lover had become. The redhead gasped into the pillow he buried his face in, tensing for a lingering moment before he took a deep breath. Almost instinctively Rick leaned down and kissed Horatio's backside, using tongue and teeth more than anything else. He felt a shiver and blush wash over Horatio, Rick sitting back to look at the mark he had just made.

Horatio groaned as he felt one of Rick's large and powerful hands massage the back of his thighs, lips working their way up his spine while fingers scissored him. By the time Rick was kissing the scar the bullet left on his shoulder Horatio was panting and gasping, clawing at the sheets with his good arm. The redhead's hard and thick cock rubbed against the sheets as Rick slowly massaged his prostate. A warm and wet mouth latched onto Horatio's neck, the younger man's slender body nestled against the curve of his fiancé's back.

"P-please, Rick," he gasped, feeling his lover's arousal press against his thigh. "I don't want to wait any longer."

"And I don't want to hurt you."

"Just go slow… at least at first."

The cool air danced across Horatio's back as Rick sat up. He looked over a shoulder, trying to watch the younger man spread lube on his cock. Bright blue eyes fluttered closed as he felt Rick's manhood lightly touch his thigh again.

"I wish I could face you," the brunette whispered, giving Horatio one last chance to switch positions.

"I need to feel this, Rick," Horatio murmured, trying to press himself against the fingers his lover still had buried deep inside him. He muffled a groan as they were pulled out.

The younger man pushed in before he could convince himself otherwise. But as soon as he could feel the familiar tight heat wrap around him, he knew that he needed it just as badly as Horatio. Neither man could breathe properly until Rick was buried up to the hilt into his lover. Trembling slightly, Rick settled his body, feeling the warmth of Horatio's back against his chest and stomach. Despite the casts that took Horatio's legs, their bodies still managed to fit together perfectly. He only pulled back for a second to sloppily kiss the nape of his lover's neck.

Horatio's eyes were closed like a man trying to fall asleep, a somewhat subconscious need to retreat into his own head. If it weren't for the casts Rick would have taken him on his back and in his favorite position. If it wasn't for his shoulder he would have been pulling Rick even closer. And if it wasn't for his past he would have been cuffed and strapped to the bed. Yet everything Rick did reminded him of how sensual and passionate a man he really was. Horatio felt absolutely weightless as he felt Rick's tongue slowly trace and caress the shell of his ear.

The redhead let out a ragged breath as Rick gently kissed his hair. He sucked in a bit of air before whispering, "move, please."

Rick gently sucked on Horatio's neck, tasting sweat and skin. He slowly rolled his hips into his lover, setting up a gentle rhythm. The air thickened as Horatio tensed for a moment, feeling Rick dig deeper into him. He was light again as a shiver traveled up his spine and made a slight blush coat his shoulders and neck. Rick could feel both their hearts begin to pound.

They remained nestled together for a long time, Rick coating Horatio's neck and hair with kisses and 'I love you', the redhead groaning in need under the assault. Thrusting a little harder Rick heard his lover mutter a soft 'yes' as his cock rubbed against the sheets. The younger man sat up a little, bracing his hands on his lover's hips as he gave it a little rougher. Within minutes Horatio was nearly hyperventilating with need for release as Rick pounded him into the mattress.

Rick was beginning to teeter on the edge, struggling to hold back for just a little longer. It was a battle of self-control that he was rapidly losing, the softest moan from Horatio being nearly enough to shove him over the edge. He reached around and took Horatio's cock in his hand. The soft moans that filled the air found a trembling voice in the syllable 'ah', the redhead's body tensing. Rick's own tongue struggled to find words as he caressed his lover, feeling the pre-cum coat his hand.

Half of a cry came out of Horatio before he bit down on the pillow, muffling himself as he came into Rick's hand. Rick followed a split second behind, moaning softly in liberation and the feeling of being unraveled.

They both grayed out for a lingering moment.

Trembling slightly, he pulled out and lay down at Horatio's side, watching the redhead catch his breath.

"God," Horatio grunted as he turned himself onto his back again, "I went for far too long without that."

"In retrospect, our hiatus was a little excessive, wasn't it?" Rick smiled faintly before sitting up and tossing the lube in the direction of their suitcase. He slowly stood before stumbling into the bathroom, grabbing a towel and cleaning Horatio up.

"It felt wonderful though," the older man whispered as Rick took care of him.

Their eyes met. Rick tossed the towel aside and climbed on top of Horatio, kissing his way up his body until their lips finally touched. The brunette nuzzled against his lover's left side, closing his eyes as an arm draped around him and cradled his head to a broad and warm chest.

"I hate these damn casts," Horatio muttered before leaning in and kissing Rick's hair.

"I know you do, love".

The two rested as night fell, Rick sighed contentedly as Horatio gently caressed him with his good arm.

"I had a dream last night," Horatio said softly, almost sounding half-asleep.

"What was it?"

"We were making love on a grand piano."

Rick chuckled, pulling a thin sheet over them. "I'll keep that in mind for when you get better. Sill a while yet, but how about when you can walk again I make that dream a reality?"

"I couldn't ask that," he said with a yawn, "they're so expensive, and I don't want to ruin a rental."

"I could make it better than a dream."

"Hmm."

Rick waited for a response, soon feeling his fiancé's hand rest on his shoulder and the familiar deep breaths of sleep. Smiling to himself, Rick kissed his chest and wrapped his legs around a cast; falling asleep to the soft rhythm of Horatio's heartbeat.


End file.
